The "You can call me Father, Brother, or Reverend" Story

It was an ordinary day. Just finishing work and was sitting at home reading the newspaper. Turned the page and my attention was drawn to a color photo of this pretty girl on the stairs. Name was Anna and under her photo the caption said that she was ordained online specifically to perform a wedding ceremony for a close friend. Yea, right! Have to read this story. I just posted two stories on my blog about playing church and having a dream about being a minister. Maybe I really can be one. Seems that more and more people are getting ordained online today. Last year, about one in seven weddings were performed by a friend of the couple. Andre Hensley, president of the non-denominational Universal Life Church, which has been issuing ordination credentials since 1962, estimated that his church has ordained 18 MILLION people. About 3,000 to 5,000 are ordained every month. Takes about 24 hours for the church to process an ordination request, all of which is reviewed by a live person (as opposed to a dead one, I guess). Wow, I really can be a minister. I could perform weddings, baptisms, give communion, give sermons, and even count the money in the offering plate. I'll bet there has to be some kind of tax break for being a minister, also. What the heck, I'm going to do it! Looked up the Universal Life Church on the Internet and right there it was - Get Ordained Online. I hit the "GET ORDAINED" button, filled in my email address, name, and hit the "Continue" button. Viola, the next screen proclaimed me "Rev. Woods". Said I am now an ordained minister and I can take advantage of minister privileges by ordering a certificate to hang on the wall. Iwonder if the State of Pennsylvania will recognize me as a minister. Maybe claim my house as the rectory and not have to pay property tax on it. Hey, anyone need a service performed. Leave a comment for me and I'll be in touch. You can call me Father, Brother, Reverend, or just LDub. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.