The "Squeaky Shoes" Story

It was an ordinary day. I'm walking down the long hall at Moravian Manor from the front door to the door that enters into the section where my mom is located. And ..... I'm squeaking all the way. A few people stick their heads out of their offices to see what the strange noise is. It's my left shoe! I needed a new pair of shoes two years ago and when to the Clarke Store at Park City Center in Lancaster. Saw a pair that I really liked, tried them on and bought them. Didn't really take a walk in them when I tried them on, and I should have. The first time I put them on and walked in them, I heard the noise. Figured I would break them in and the noise would be gone. Never happened. The noise got worse. Only the left shoe. I still liked the shoes since they were nice and warm, comfortable to wear for a long period of time, and stylish (at least I thought so). I tried every thing I could to stop the squeak. Squeezed my toes together when I walked. Didn't help. Walked on the left side of the shoe. Didn't work. Landed on just my heal. Didn't work. Landed on my toe. Didn't work. Store wouldn't take them back after the first year, so I guess I was stuck with them. My wife wouldn't walk with me when I had them on, since she said it sounded like I was passing gas all the time. Then she suggested I take them to the shoe repair shop near our house. I showed them what happened when I walked. Guy took the shoe and threw it in the trash. I did retrieve it, but no help at the repair place. Guess I'll have to use them the way they are. At least I now have an excuse if I do pass gas while walking with them on my feet. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.