The "Playing Chicken at the Giant" Story

It was an ordinary day. Shopping at the Giant Supermarket with my lovely wife, Carol. I'm still in recovery mode from my surgery and not allowed to lift anything heavier than 5 pounds. The kitty litter weighs twice that as well as a 40 pound bag of bird seed, so I take her along to do the heavy lifting. But, I get to push the cart! Funny how when we both go to the store the cost of the food seems to almost double. Well, we make it to the check-out and I pack the paper bags while she lifts them in the cart. I always ask for paper since it is more friendly for the environment. I know ...... it takes trees to make paper bags, but they tell me these bags are made from recycled paper,so there. And then the challenge starts. As we exit the store we are directly next to the lane of traffic that you must cross to get to the parking lot. Now, there are brightly painted white lines and a big fluorescent sign that tells motorists that, by Pennsylvania law, they must stop for she and I, but sometimes they don't. So, we wait. Not long though! Sometimes I get so peed-off waiting that I just start out in front of them. No way will they hit the cart, right? Yep, it has happened. Twice. One time they actually ran the front of their car into the cart. Dumb s*#ts. Another time they saw me start across the lane and still kept going, so I ran the cart into their back bumper. Woman kept right on going. Didn't even stop to see if I was hurt, which of course I wasn't. It's like playing chicken with a shopping cart, but I'm up to the challenge. Don't try to cross me at the Giant, or you're in for trouble! Problem is, I don't have a shopping cart rider on my auto insurance coverage. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.