The "Suicide: When Grief Strikes" Story

The beautiful St. James churchyard.

It was an ordinary day.  Standing in the St. James Episcopal churchyard, taking a few photographs to be used on a few stories I have planned to share with you.  St. James was established in 1744 and is one of the most beautiful churches in the city of Lancaster, Pennsylvania.  The historic churchyard has Revolutionary War heroes, Civil War heroes, as well as WWI and WWII heroes buried there.  

St.James steeple can be seen in the background.

My mother and father are also buried in the section of the cemetery allotted for cremation ashes.  My story today began as I walked through the churchyard and stumbled upon a very small grave marked by a granite headstone that was perhaps 8"x12" in size.  Next to the headstone was an Easter egg and a small toy rabbit.  An old lock as well as a few coins and two more ceramic ornaments sat atop the headstone.  At first I thought it to be a young child that may have been recently buried, but the church hasn't allowed recent burials since the cemetery is full, except for the memorial garden where ashes may be buried.  Then I read the date on the stone and realized the stone was over fifty years old and the young girl buried in the site was 22 years old at the time of her death.  

Small headstone for a young woman in the churchyard.

Now, what you have just read took place about a month ago.  Today in the newspaper was the answer I was looking for when I snapped the photo of the small headstone last month.  For the past two days the Lancaster Newspaper has been doing a special on teen suicide and how it affects the family, friends and the community.  Loved ones of teen suicide victims have been sharing stories of love, loss and hope and how their experiences may help another families facing the same situation.  Well, the final newspaper story featured the stories of three women who have been affected by relatives who have committed suicide.  

The headstone sits right inside this open gate.

As I read the story of one woman whom had lost her daughter 33 years ago, I instantly realized I know this young girl.  I recently took a photo- graph of her tombstone.  I read the entire story of Beth's mothers' struggle to cope with her loss, even though it happened 33 years ago.  She explained that her daughter was scheduled to graduate from college when two weeks before graduation, her boyfriend broke off their relationship.  On Memorial Day weekend Beth got sleeping pills from a pharmacy and went back to her dorm room and took them with Vodka.  Beth's mother said that she had always been dramatic.  She earlier had starred as an actress at the Fulton Opera House in downtown Lancaster and had plans to continue her acting career after college graduation.  Beth's mother, as well as her three younger sisters, took her suicide hard and tried to put all the pieces back together once again.  

Click to enlarge.

She needed therapy for her grief.  The family bonded together to get over their grief.  What may have become of Beth had she lived?  I guess we will never know.  Beth's three sisters all have families of their own now and I'm sure they think often of their sister and hope they will never have to go through what their mother did over 30 years ago.  Who may have placed the mementos on her headstone?  Family members?  Friends?  Her life is still being remembered by someone.  Why did she do what she did?  I'm sure that has been asked over and over again by her family.  As part of the newspaper story they did a survey in local high schools with these following responses to their questions: 16% said they had considered suicide; 13% said they had planned suicide; 9% said they had attempted suicide; 63% said they had experienced emotional abuse; 23% said they have experienced threats and physical injury.  So, what can be done?  It's tough coming up with a single answer for everyone.  The newspaper did end their story with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline which is suicidepreventionlifeline.org; 800-273-8255.  They also added the information for deaf or hard of hearing with 800-799-4889.  Finally, they added the Lancaster County Intervention information; co.lancaster.pa.us/1136/Crisis; 717-394-2631.  If you may need help, please contact the numbers I have just listed for you.  Someone can help you; I'm sure!!  Don't be a statistic!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.