The "Why I Can't Run For Public Office" Story

It was an ordinary day. A friend was talking to me about running for a position as a township commissioner. Since I am supposedly retired, I should have more time to spend with public service they said. "You were the President of the Schaeffer PTO, an officer with the MT Booster Club and President of the MT Baseball Association. You'd be an easy winner. Also, most everyone who knows you, likes you!" they said. "But, why would I want to do that," I said. "I enjoy my life the way it is and don't need all the stress and hassle that comes with public office." Well, they told me to think about it and I did just that. I came up with a list of ten reasons why I shouldn't run for public office. And here they are .......

#10 - I've changed parties too many times.

#9 - Even though I was a teacher, I don't enjoy public speaking.

#8 - Most people know my phone number and where I live.

#7 - I have no money for advertising.

#6 - I don't like to wear a toupee

#5 - I never had an affair.

#4 - I'm not sure where the Appalachian Trail is located.

#3 - Since I retired over 10 years ago, all my ties are out of style.

#2 - I really don't have too many opinions on anything.

And, the top reason would have to be ....

#1 - Someone surely has a nude picture of me they will run in the paper.

So, there they are. And you see that I certainly would not be a good candidate for either party. So don't ask again! It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.