The "Birthday Greeting for Just Sue" Story

It was an ordinary day. I am a year older. Not a pretty sight. But, I have no other alternative. I just picked up a card at the store for my friend Just Sue, since her birthday is in nine days. I think she's older than me, maybe. Now she's been "Over the Hill" for a few years, but I found a neat card that tells you 50 ways that you can tell when you're over the hill. Naturally, I'm going to tell you a few of them. So here's some of my favorites. You can tell when you're over the hill when: You think "Libido" is an Italian Pasta; People always begin compliments with the phrase "For your age....."; You wonder why they started printing everything is smaller type; You notice that joggers are passing you while you are driving (that's for Sue's husband); You keep repeating yourself; Your pharmacist calls you by your first name; Your car battery goes dead because your turn signal has been on for the past three weeks; Your new easy chair has more options than you car; You keep repeating yourself; You start beating everyone at trivia games; You refer to your audio system as your Hi-Fi; Your childhood toys are now in a museum; and, You drive a Buick. Now, I added that last one! But, you know, "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans." Hey Sue, if you read this story before you get your birthday card, I'm sure you'll forget most of what I have written anyway. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.