The "All Body Parts Have Now Been Tested!" Story

It was an ordinary day. I'm still coughing, but I do notice it getting better. It has been almost three weeks since I have returned from my Panama Canal cruise and I am still trying to cope with whatever I picked up on the cruise ship. Last week I went back to the doctor and he sent me directly to the hospital for a chest Xray. Couldn't believe I was in and out in 15 minutes. Next day I get a call from the doctor's office and the nurse tells me the doctor wants me to have a CAT scan done on my lungs. The Xray showed a shadow on it and the doctor wants to see what that might be. Two days later I am sitting in the waiting room of Lancaster General Woman and Children's Hospital. Yep, I know I don't quality as being either one of those, but that is where they can accommodate me for the CAT scan. In no time at all I am called into the room with the big open donut machine. I lay on the unit fully clothed and they put an IV in my arm. They tell me they will use a dye to enhance the scan. I first have saline pumped into me for the first scan. The nurse tells me that within seconds I should taste salt in my mouth. Yep, my mouth is salty. I move into the machine, hold my breath and the scan is taken as I return to my original position. Next they inject, through the IV, a dye. The nurse tells me it is like iodine, only a synthetic type which will possibly make me feel hot. Again, I am moved into the machine and told to hold my breath. And then I feel hot! Really hot! From the inside out. Mostly in my chest and head. While I hold my breath I am returned to my original spot and the scan is complete. She tells me the dye will run through my body and come out in the urine, but I will not notice any change in color. Then she tells me I can go home. The doctor will get the results in a day or two. As I am getting up from the machine I have this sudden pushing pain on the left side of my chest. She helps me sit down and really looks concerned .... which makes me concerned. After 30 seconds the pain is gone, but I am told to sit in the waiting room for a while and they will check on me. I wait, pain free, for 15 minutes and after no one seems to be interested in me, I get up and go home. Two days later the nurse calls from the doctor's office and reads to me what the doctor has written: nothing appears abnormal on the CAT scan. No masses or nodules. And then she says there is a smiley face after his note. Good news. I question her about my cough and am told that I probably will have the cough for 6-8 weeks and to keep using the codeine cough medicine they gave to me. I eventually will get rid of the cough. Another test, another dollar. Modern medicine at it's best. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.