The "And Why Can't I Have The Bonus?" Story

It was an ordinary day. Talking through the intercom at the drive-up window with the teller at Sovereign Bank. I have a money market business account for my "Woods Printing Services" at Sovereign Bank. I started it in 1999 when I retired from teaching, but still wanted to continue the in-house printing with the school district. They told me I needed a business name so they could pay me as an independent contractor. I chose Sovereign Bank since they are located a half block from my house. The account paid the same interest as every other bank, so why not. Well today, after making a deposit, the teller, seeing that no one else was in line behind me, told me she was giving me a document that told me how I could earn some money by getting my employees at my company to open an account with Sovereign. Each employee who started an account would get a $25 bonus added to their account and I would get a $75 bonus added into my money market account for every employee that started and account. Sounded great, BUT!! And then this transpired ....... "You are the owner of Woods Printing aren't you?" "Yes, I am," I replied into the squawking microphone. "Well, that's all you have to do then," she said. "Do you have any questions?" I started with, "Well, my first question would be, What if I am the sole owner of my company and," I paused for about 10 seconds to get her attention, "the only employee?" I kept looking at her for a reaction. I could SEE and HEAR her mind thinking. Then, she didn't say anything. I continued, "OK, could you just add the $75 today since I already have an account?" And then she laughed and said, "I don't think so, LDub. Good try, though." Put the car in drive and drove away as I'm sure she went to tell someone about this crazy old man she was just talking to. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.