The "Ah! Pig Meat with Bacon. Yum!!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Carol and I were talking about the good ole days before our daughter was married, but was still living with us.  Matter-of-fact, her soon-to-be husband, Dave, also was living with us.  Brynn and Dave had both just graduated from Millersville University and had teaching jobs lined up in the county.  It was a busy household for about a year before they married and moved to Maryland to continue their teaching careers.  While in Lancaster, Carol tried to devise meals that all four of us would enjoy.  One of the meals we had every so often was Mac and Spam.  Other times we would have Spam sandwiches with cheese melted on top.  Not a big favorite with the kids, but it was our way of telling them that if you continue to live here, this is what you will be eating.  Worked!!  After they moved out we put the extra Spam in the back of the cabinet and didn't use it unless necessary.  Well, today while shopping together at the local supermarket, we passed the shelf with the Spam on it.  Carol said, "Wonder if I remember what that tastes like."  I replied, "Pretty much like the Taylor Pork Roll with cheese sandwiches that we have every year on the Ocean City boardwalk."  Then we looked over the other varieties of Spam that were on the shelf: Hickory Smoked, Spam Lite (Like this is good for you), 25% Less Sodium Spam (or this one), Oven-Roasted Turkey Spam, Spicy and Hot Spam, Spam and Cheese (Hey, that's our type), and Spam With Bacon.  "Let's have one for lunch today," I said.  We agreed on the Spam With Bacon which we could easily put a piece of cheese on after it was heated.  Was a tasty meal, but we both wondered how much trash we had just eaten. "Can't be that bad," I said.  "Remember when we went to Hawaii in '99 and they had Spam sandwiches on the menu of quite a few restaurants?  Even the Burger King had Spam on the menu in Hawaii.  I'll bet our traveling companions, Jerry and Just Sue, remember.  I think the islanders told us they even have a week-long Spam celebration on Waikiki Beach sometime during the year."  Well, a few days ago I got the answer to my question about what  kind of trash is in Spam when my "Wired" magazine arrived in the mail.  There was a one page story titled "What's inside Spam With Bacon?"  Are you ready for this?

1. Pork with Ham - Duh, aren't these the same.  Nope.  Ham is the hind leg of a pig that's been preserved, colored, and flavored through a process known as curing, while pork is just "meat from hogs." And, both are in Spam.
2. Modified Potato Starch - After 3 hours of cooking in the can, the moisture is gone from the meat, so they add potato starch which traps water molecules, binding that juicy goodness in the loaf. I can just taste it now! 
3. Sodium Nitrite - NaNO2 inhibits the bug that causes botulism, adds flavor, and turns cured meat a "healthy" pink hue.  Ah, pink Spam!
4. Salt - Sodium Nitrate serves the purpose of preserving without refridgeration of the Spam.  It also adds flavor to the Spam.  Enough salt in Spam that it is equivalent to 234 Ruffles potato chips.  Now, that's healthy in my book.
5. Sugar - Why not!  It isn't really necessary, but oh so good.  Again, it is used for flavor to counter-balance the bitterness of the salt that they didn't have to put in.  The combo of fat, salt, and sugar works on the brain's dopamine and opioid circuitry - the same circuitry that narcotics stimulate.
6.  Bacon - "The cured belly of a swine carcass," says the USDA.  Mmmmm, tasty!  Done by injecting a brine solution into the belly of a butchered swine (you knew that meant pig, right?).  The brine contains sodium erythorbate, an antioxidant that's chemically similar to vitamin C.  This is necessary to boost the conversion of the sodium nitrite in bacon into nitric oxide, which minimizes the production of carcinogens when the pork belly is fried up.   

Yep, a real canned pigfest!  And, I love it!  Especially with cheese on it!!  My guess is it's got to cut at least half a dozen years off your life if you eat it once a week.  Add cheese and put it in a soft roll to make it better and you can add another year to the 6 already mentioned.  Ready for some for supper?  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.