Wednesday, September 12, 2012
The "Sentimental Clutter" Story
It was an ordinary day. Thinking back to the many times that my mom and I would talk about some of her friends. Mom had a friend she knew since high school and her friend would meet her for lunch from time to time. This friend and her husband would stop and pick her and my dad up and drive them to Cape May for lunch and return all in the same day. And, this friend had little glass and porcelain figurines all over their house. Mom hated that. How can you dust in a place like that? It's nothing more that clutter. Well, when my dad died and my brother and I decided that mom needed some assistance in her daily living, we had some hard choices to make. First, we told mom that we were selling their car and she wasn't going to be driving anymore. Either my brother or I would drive her where ever she needed to go. Then we told her that it would be best if she lived at the retirement home where she and dad had both been residents, she while recovering and dad before his death. Tough choices for us to make and even harder choices forced on mom. But, we all knew it was for the best interests of all concerned. Mom enjoyed the companionship of her new friends and I felt so much better knowing that someone was watching out for her. The hard part of this decision was the selling of mom and dad's home. They had lived in that house in Grandview Heights for over 40 years. Had paid off their mortgage and were so proud to get a glass ornament and have it embedded in the railing at the bottom of the steps. Showed that the house was finally their house. Not only had they lived in the house for almost five decades, but they had accumulated five decades of stuff. Sentimental stuff! A few pieces were taken to Moravian Manor where mom was not a resident. An antique desk and chair, her dining room hutch, her favorite recliner and light, and a chest of drawers for her clothes. Old paintings and photos from home hung on her new walls. The rest ......... well, what do you do with the rest. Mom wanted the rest of the furniture to go to her family. Her younger sister took the bedroom suit. My oldest son took the bed and mattress from the guest bedroom. Her younger sister's oldest son took the rest of the dining room suit. My daughter took the antique sofa and chair. My brother took the huge clock that had hung on the wall of the home as well as the home where we had moved from in the 60s. My youngest son took the antique 12 gauge shotgun that my dad had gotten from his dad. Me? I took the tall antique cut glass vase that her aunt had given to her and that was it. I did get to sort out all the sentimental clutter that remained. And boy, there was plenty. What to do with it. Dad had saved everyone of his driver's licenses since he turned 16. He had saved everyone of his AAA cards from when he was a member. He had saved every tax return, water bill, electric bill, etc. Starting to understand what I had to do? I almost wore out my shreader. And, the house was for sale and I had to do it right away. Clutter that no one wanted I had to load in trash bags and take to my house to put out for the trash man. You know how hard that is to do? I was throwing away history. My history! I gave as many things a new home that I could. I saved the family photos naturally, but what about all the little trinkets and paintings that meant so much to mom and dad, but meant nothing to me. Oh my, you have any idea how hard it is to decide what to do with the items? The only way you would is if you have gone through it yourself. For weeks I watched as the trash man took memories upon memories with him. Sometimes I would put a bag out and before the trash man arrived I would bring it back in and go through it again to make sure something valuable or REALLY sentimental was not in the bag. Carol and I have talked many times about what will happen to the "clutter" that we have in our house. Will any of the kids want the batik prints we have hanging on the walls? Will anyone want the Hawaiian bird's nest we have displayed in our living room? How about the neat table we bought in Sanibel, Florida that is in our upstairs hallway. How about the trophies I won in Corvette shows. And then there are the three white suitcases adorned with stickers from every trip we have taken which sit on a shelf above our front door. The same three white suitcases that were a present from me to my wife when we got married. Now how sentimental can you get? The list goes on and on. Should I buy bags now so it won't be so costly for them when they have to clean up our clutter? I'll tell you what ....... I'm done writing for today. It's getting too depressing!! It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.
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