The "Hilarious Obit" Story

John E. Holden (Jack)

It was an ordinary day.  Walked out the driveway for the morning paper after feeding our outdoor cat.  Took the orange plastic wrapper off and glanced at the headline under the masthead.  Proclaimed "A one-of-a-kind man -- and obit."  As soon as I read the headline and saw the photo staring back at me I knew what the story was about.  Couple of days ago, as I read the "Local" section of the newspaper I turned to page 3 and the obituaries.  There was this double photo (young and old pixs) of a fellow which accompanied his obit.  Started off with .... John E. Holden, alias Jack, took the Deep Six, Monday, May 27, 2013 at the Willow Valley Retirement Community after a life with endless laughter and debauchery.  Wow!  Would you read on?  I could hardly wait to continue.  His entire obit was filled with humor, stories of his business career, the organizations to which he belonged, the story of his publication he wrote at his retirement home and the history of his career in the Marine Corps where he says he was a fighter pilot during WWII and was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for his combat activities, the Air Medal for action in Okinawa in 1945 and the Distinguished Fleeing Cross for avoiding numerous women who were seeking child support under unproven circumstances!  Yep, you have to read this to believe it.  My wife was still in bed, but I had to wake her to read this double-column obit.  Couldn't believe they would put it in the paper, but hey, you have to pay for it and I guess you can say anything you want about yourself.  You did read that right ..... because he wrote his own obituary.  Boy, does that sound familiar.  It was back on September 1, 2010, at the end of the first year of my blog, that I also posted a copy of my obit.  Beginning of mine read like this .....

Larry W. Woods

Ordinary Guy

Larry W. Woods died on September 9, 2044 at the age of 100, surrounded by his wife and friend of 77 years, Carol and his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren at his home in Lancaster, PA. He died shortly after watching the “Today” show and seeing his photo on a jar of Smuckers Jam. This was the one item on his “Bucket List” he feared he would never achieve. He had a grin on his face as he fell asleep for the last time.

Could Mr. Holden have read my blog and thought he would do the same for himself?  I thoroughly enjoyed reading his obit and when I saw the article on the front of the paper today I got to relive it again.  Seems that his obituary became an international sensation after being shared on social media and going viral within hours of publication.  The newspaper website has drawn over 115,000 hits and a reprint of the obit appeared in newspapers across the country as well as in London and ran on the Canadian broadcasting Corporation's website under the line, "This guy wrote his own obituary, and it's fantastic."    In today's front page story it tells the story of Jack as seen through the eyes of those who knew him throughout his life as well as those he worked with at Armstrong and Hubley Toys.  Almost 70 inches of copy appeared in today's paper with his photo.  It appears that Jack is as famous in death as he was in life.  A few more items from his obit, and in his own words, that you may find interesting were: ...... (1) For many years prior to his demise, he wrote a tongue in cheek publication at Willow Valley called "The Wrinkle Valley News" where he had close to a thousand readers whom he referred to as "The Inmates of Wrinkle Valley." (2) He was a longstanding member of the Lancaster Country Club, the Hamilton Club and the International Mickey Mouse Club from which he was immediately banned after providing housing for a number of stray cats. (3) Jack was widowed ten years ago after sixty-one years of marriage to Elaine Ewing Holden.  He has had a number of other wives recently, none of which were his. (4) Three daughters, Holly, Wendy and Anne Holden and a son, John E. Holden, Jr. have managed to survive despite being related to their father. (5) and finally - His last words were "I'm really going to miss myself."  .... I guess I'm going to have to tweak my obit a little to outdo this one.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

This photo of Jack was on of the two that accompanied his obituary in the Lancaster Newspaper