The " Absolute Last Time I Do This" Story

It was an ordinary day.  And …….. I'm very upset!  Reason:  The stained glass Hawaiian Shirt that I just hung in the window for a photo has a slight crack in it.  The kind of crack that resembles the red dot on the cashmere sweater that George Costanza bought for Elaine in one of the Seinfeld episodes.  You know it's there only because someone told you about it, but you probably wouldn't have seen it otherwise.  No matter how you look at it your eyes go directly to the crack.  I didn't see it, needless to say, or I would have replaced it before I finished the job.  Now that I have it soldered in place and have the edge around the job, I can't just take the piece out and place a new one in its place.  I would have to take the entire border off and it would take a few more hours of work.  Not worth the effort since I already have about 10 hours on the project.  

The making of the Hawaiian Shirt stained glass window panel.

So, what do I do now?  Well, first after I finish this story, I will have to email the customer who ordered it and tell him what has happened and see if he is still interested in the window.  If he no longer wants the window, I will hang in in one of my windows in my dining room.  After all it is really neat!  And, I have decided that I will absolutely no longer make anymore stained glass projects for anyone.  My fingers are a mess with open wounds and my hands are killing me.  Doing hand stained-glass items is extremely hard on you hands, especially if they are as ancient as mine.  I hadn't worked in glass for a few years because of the strain on my hands, but after getting an email asking if I still made the Hawaiian shirts, I got in the mood to do one more.  BIG MISTAKE!  Now I have the chore of informing my customer.  The customer: Gentleman by the name of Wayne L. (no last names will be used).  He asked - Do you still make or have available your stained glass Hawaiian shirts?  If so, please provide a price.  

Completed shirt. After cutting the individual pieces with a
hand glass cutter, grinding the edges, wrapping each piece
with special metal tape, soldering the pieces,making
the channel around the edge of the shirt, soldering hangers,
adding the dark patina, and washing the entire shirt, it is
finally ready for hanging in my dinning room window.

At first I thought it was rather funny that Wayne L. would email me instead of calling me on the phone as he usually does when he wants a piece of my artwork. So, I emailed him back with - Hi Wayne L.,   I only have one at the time.  Actually it is my favorite.  I have included a photo of it hanging in my window.  I sell them to dealers for $75.  Let me know. A couple of minutes later he emailed me and said - I will take it, but I would prefer a floral pattern if you make them to order.  If so, what would be the price?  I thought, this is dumb emailing back and forth.  So I called him.  Wayne had no idea what I was talking about.  OK, is someone pulling my leg, as the saying goes.  I reread the original email and then it hit me.  Under the name was Wayne L's address.  This Wayne L. lived in Jacksonville Florida.  So I got on my computer and explained the situation to him.  I could make one, but it wouldn't be for the $75.  My Florida Wayne L. OKed the deal and wrote me a story about how his life has been a continuous episode of mistaken identities.

The "CRACK."  Above the right yellow leaf of the flower, on
the right-hand orange piece of glass, you can see a slight crack
in the bottom left corner.  You have to look very closely, but
it is there.  I have to make the customer aware of it so he
doesn't get upset later with my work.  Click on photo to enlarge.

He had been mistaken for a pro basketball player with the same name and also was told he couldn't use his name when he tried to join the Actors Equity Assoc., since someone else had that name.  He changed his name to Jeremy and began working under that name.  But, since he is also a writer and there are several authors around the world named Jeremy L., he had to go back to using his first, middle and last name.  Then he got a one-time check from the Social Security Administration for back pay and a substantial increase in his monthly disability benefit.  You starting to get the idea how I became confused.  Anyway, the shirt window is finished and I am posting some photos here so Florida Wayne L. can read this story and check out what it looks like. If he is still interested I will have to prepare a package to be sent to Florida.  I just hope the correct Wayne L. gets the package.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.