The "Printer Ineptitude" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just unpacked my new Canon MG5520 Printer and was trying to get it to work.  For the last couple of years I had a Kodak printer that worked great for me.  Had a scanner which I used frequently and the ink cartridges were fairly inexpensive.  Then it started to act up and after replacing a part on it and having it work for an additional month, it resumed to act up once again.  Checked online to read reviews about several types of printers.  Some used an extreme amount of toner while others caused an assortment of other problems for their owners.  Then I talked to my niece's husband Shawn and he told me he had two different printers and loved the Canon he had the best.  So, I bought one on Amazon for less than I could find anywhere.  I wanted a wireless printer so both my wife and I could access it from just about anywhere on our property with either the desktop, laptop or iPad.  Thing is very light in weight and easy to unpack.  Then the problems began.  Followed the directions as to how to activate it by holding down on the button on my Linksys router, but didn't seem to come to life.  After about an hour of frustration and realizing I was probably too old to do this sort of thing, I pulled up the Canon website to get a phone number where I could get help.  Within a minute I was talking to someone in a crowded room from some foreign country.  Told him my problem and he asked me if I am in front of my computer.  "Yes, but what does that have to do with my wireless printer?" I asked him.  Well, he had me convinced that he could help me if I was online and contacted to him, so I allowed him to access my computer.  I know you think I'm insane, but I wasn't thinking straight at the time from all the stress.  He moved my cursor around the screen faster than I could follow it and in no time asked me if I saw all these lines of numbers and letters.  "Yep, I see them, but what does that have to do with the printer?" I asked.  "Your computer is too slow and won't be able to work with the printer the way it is now.  I can correct that for you right now for $166.99," he told me.  "Yeah, right.  And, I can package the printer back in the box and ship it back to you for a heck of a lot less than that," I shot back at him.  "Well, that's what you'll have to do if you want it to work,' he told me.  I told him no thanks and watched as he left my screen and gave me the Canon number if I wanted to try later.  Sat and watched some TV to calm down and stupidly tried again.  SAME DAMN THING!  Only this time it was another person in some far off country, but with a higher voice.  This time it was only going to cost me $99.99.  That was until I told him I'm retired and couldn't afford that price.  Instantly the price dropped to $49.99.  You know, the senior citizen discount.  "At what age are you a senior citizen in India?" I asked him.  Didn't answer for the longest while.  Then I told him no thanks and I again watched as he left my screen and gave me the number for future reference.  Then I got smart and called Apple Computers, since all my computers are Apple products.  Wow, I got another foreign voice and he told me, after I explained what the other two chaps had told me, that it wouldn't hurt to clean my desktop so it works faster.  But, that wouldn't help with the printer problem he assured me.  I said thanks, but no thanks.  Then it struck me ….. if Shawn hooked up his Canon, why couldn't he do the same for me.  Gave him a call and 10 minutes later I yelled to my wife, "Type something and send it to the printer."  Viola!!  "What's your cost for helping?" I asked him.  "You can frame something for me in the future," was his response.  And, just as quick as that my new Canon was spitting out page after page of printed stuff from just about anywhere on my property. Family wins out!! It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.