The "Are You Smarter Than An Old Guy!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just got my first issue of Reader's Digest in the mail.  Over my lifetime I have had a variety of magazines based on my interests and hobbies during that particular time in history.  When I was a young boy I had a subscription to Boy's Life which is a magazine for Boy Scouts.  In high school I had a subscription to Sports Illustrated.  During my early married life I had a subscription to Baseball Digest as well as the obscure APBA Journal for which I contributed columns at times.  During a mid-life crisis I had a subscription to Vette as well as Corvette Magazine.  Actually wrote a story called "Me and My Vette" and had it published in Vette.  Then iPhones, iMacs and a MacBook Air entered my life and I subscribed to Wired Magazine.  Well, about a year or so ago I cancelled my subscription to Wired since I no longer could understand a single story in the magazine.  Naturally had to find something new, other than free retirement home journals that came in the mail on a weekly basis, so I subscribed to Reader's Digest.  I've actually enjoyed the magazine my entire life, reading the jokes and "Life In These United States" whenever I found a copy at a doctor's office or hospital waiting room.  Today the mail arrived and I sat down to peruse my new subscription.  After a few pages I realized I should have ordered the large print edition.  One of my favorite finds in the magazine came from the "Letters" section where I read about the parody of Mensa (the group of people with IQs of 140 or higher) called Densa.  It was hilarious!!  I just had to share it with you in case you may have missed it.  Take the test and see how you do.  You can't do much worse than I did.  You do need to thoroughly read the questions before giving an answer.  I only realized that after I was half-way through the test.  I'll tell you that I wasn't normal, but you have to figure out whether I was above or below the norm.  I just hope my future editions are as much fun to read as this one.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The Test for DENSA

Write down or remember your answers and DON'T CHEAT!!!!! Good luck!

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England? (Yes/No)
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days; some months have 30. How many have 28 days?
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? (Yes/No)
6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10, what is the answer?
7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half an hour. How many minutes will the pills last?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
13. A plane crashes on the Canadian - US border. In which country do you bury the survivors?
14. What is the least amount of coins it takes to make 55 cents if one of the coins is a quarter?

Your Evaluation

*Give yourself one point for each correct answer.

1. Is there a Fourth of July in England?
   • Yes, it comes after the third of July.
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
   • Just one. Mine is in September.
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
   • All twelve months have 28 days.
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
   • 6, three per side!
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
   • No - because he is dead!
6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
   • 70 (30 divided by 1/2 equals 60!)
7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
   • 2. You took them, remember?
8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills last?
   • 60 minutes. Start with the 1st pill, 30 minutes later take the 2nd, then 30 minutes after that take the 3rd. The effects of the pills may last longer than 60 minutes.
9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
   • 9, since all but 9 die.
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
    • None. It wasn't Moses on the ark. It was Noah.
11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
    • A clerk in a butcher shop weighs meat!
12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
    • There are 12 two cent stamps in a dozen, just like there are 12 of anything else in a dozen.
13. A plane crashes on the Canadian - US border. In which country you bury the survivors?
    • The survivors would probably rather wait until they die to be buried.
14. What is the least amount of coins it takes to make 55 cents if one of the coins is a quarter?
• Three coins. One is a quarter, another is a quarter, and there's also a nickel.

Add Your Score... How did you do?

Correct Answers: DENSA Rating

• 13-14: Genius
• 10-12: Above Normal
• 7-9: Normal
• 4-6: Slow
• 1-3: Idiot
• None: Brain dead