The "Big Boys Don't Cry" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Wondering why I have a tendency to cry more often than not.  Never used to be that way.  Matter of fact, I very rarely ever cried, since it was thought that males just don't cry.  And, why is that?  I really don't remember crying when my father died at the age of 87.  He had lived a very good life and I felt sad that he had passed, but tears weren't shed.  I don't remember crying when my mother passed at the age of 90.  She too had lived a fruitful life and was ready to see her savior.  I was sad that she died, but really don't remember crying.  I had been told, I think, that men just don't cry.  Don't want to be called a sissy!  Also thought that crying was a sign of weakness because "real" men don't cry!  I'm sure I shed a few tears when my wife's parents died, but that was because I felt sorrow for my wife who lost both her mom and dad when they were both young.  She cried, but she was supposed to do that, right ... she was a girl.  I can actually remember a psychology course I had in college when I learned that Charles Darwin decided in 1872 that tears actually serve no purpose.  Didn't remember anything else, but I at least remembered something from the course.  Also remember learning that men don't cry since they don't grow up seeing other men cry. Never once saw my dad cry.    Well, my wife and I recently lost one of our all-time favorite cats, Creamsicle.  He was a stray that actually adopted us since one snowy evening he jumped the rear door snowdrift and headed into the house.  Never left!  When we took him to the vet, after suffering a few strokes, my wife, the female vet and myself all cried ... a whole bunch!  No one looked at me funny or criticized me when the tears kept rolling down my cheeks.  They were kind enough to offer a box of tissues.  And, the crying continued quite often.  Happened when I heard sad news on TV.  Happened when I had to cancel an appointment I didn't want to miss.  And then it struck me.  I finally figured out why I was crying.  It was the shots!!  The shots I had to be given, since I had chosen to have Cryosurgery for my prostate cancer.  The four shots of firmagon did it to me.  Seems that the shots were given to me to help reduce the size of my prostate before the Cryosurgery.  They were to reduce the amount of testosterone in my body.  And, testosterone can actually reduce one's likelihood, or even ability, to cry.  And ... that's one reason that males don't cry all the time.  I would talk to my wife about something and all of a sudden begin to cry.  I would read something in the newspaper and begin to cry.  I finally went back to my urologist for a follow-up visit and talked to him about my crying.  He told me it was a side effect of the firmagon as I had thought, and said it would take some time to be eliminated from my system.  He gave me another appointment for six months later and told me I should stop the crying by them.  He also told me there's nothing wrong if I cry anyway.  Said I wasn't designed to swallow my emotions and when I suppress my tears it can be hazardous to my well-being.  There is a relationship between stress-related illnesses and inadequate crying.  Weeping is correlated with happiness and wealth.  Countries where people cry the most tend to be more extroverted.  He said that crying is my body's way of lubricating and cleaning my eyes.  Do you cut onions and cry?  Do you cry when walking into the wind?  It's a reflex to protect the eyes.  He then told me not to worry about crying.  If the shots tend to make me more emotional, so what.  Not the end of the world.  And, it probably will do my eyes some good.  Smiled at me and said I would be fine!  I guess I'm not the first guy to begin to cry with age.  Why worry about it.  Won't do me any good anyway.  Probably will just get me upset and that definitely will lead to crying.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.