Saturday, May 5, 2018
The "Email Friends And Cousins Forever!" Story
It was an ordinary day. Standing in line at the Reynolds Funeral Home in Quarryville, Pennsylvania waiting to talk with my cousin, Susan, whose husband Gary had recently passed away. For the past few years Carol and I have been closer to Susan and her family than we have been to other relatives. I have nine cousins who I have known for close to three-quarter of a century. My father's sister Lillian had two children who our family vacationed with for years along the rivers that fed into the Chesapeake Bay. Cousins Judy and George were close in age to my brother and I, so we had a great time together every time we vacationed. But, time moves on and though we still talk and see each other from time to time, its not very often. My mother had two sisters and the older of the two, Virginia, thought she was a few years younger than my mom, had three girls. Aunt Virginia, Uncle Bob, Lynn, Susan and Amy lived in Strasburg, PA which is about 15 miles from Lancaster. My brother and I visited with our cousins, but usually only a few times a year for summer picnics and during holidays. My mother's youngest sister, Lois, was only a year or so older than me and I think of her almost as much a cousin as an aunt. She has two sons, Johnny and Michael, who are cousins who we also see maybe once a year. About 20 years ago Carol and I decided to move from our home in Grandview Heights, where we had lived for 29 years, to a place that reminded us of a beach house. I gave cousin Susan a call and asked if she could handle the sale of our house and the purchase of our new home. She had been a realtor for a few years and was the perfect choice. She sold our place the first day it was on the market and helped us land our beach house for what today seems like a steal. We got to know Susan once again, as well as her husband Gary, during the next few years since she also helped both our sons buy houses for themselves. Gary worked for a heating and cooling company and he helped when we needed to replace those systems in our beach house. A shared meal or two along the Chesapeake helped us get to know the two of them even better. Susan no longer sells real estate, but for many years now we have been internet friends with constant emails back and forth, primarily about our families. I helped her a few years ago when her older sister and my cousin, Lynn, needed the use of a computer. I happened to have one that fitted the needs of her sister, so she mailed it to her sister. Our shared emails were about just about everything from grandkids, other relatives, time she and Gary spent at their hunting cabin as well as illnesses that affect just about everyone our age. But, a few months ago that all changed when she began to tell me about Gary and his health struggles. Some things reminded me of what I was going through while others sounded much more serious. Well, one email led to another and finally she broke the news to me of Gary's illness. Sounded very serious and I was at a loss for words to type back to her to make her feel better. Then the email came telling me about Gary being taken to Hospice to help manage his pain. What can I type back to her that will mean anything and make her feel better? NOTHING! Then Carol told me of the Facebook post by one of Susan and Gary's daughters telling of her father's passing. I quickly wrote a note telling Susan to let me know what we could do to help. A day later I got an email that told the entire story. As I read it I could see that she was using our email friendship to help her talk to someone about what she was feeling. The tears began to flow as I read more and more of her story. I could almost see her tears on the keys of her computer as she was typing her story to me. It's a few days later now and I can give her a hug and tell her how sorry I am for her and her family as I stand in front of her at the funeral parlor. Her daughters, Gary's daughters, stand nearby also greeting visitors. Carol and I haven't seen the girls in some time and I asked Susan if they will recognize us. She bet me $20 that they will remember us. As Carol and I walked away after our visit she looked my way and asks if they remembered us. I shake my head yes. She says, "You own me $20." I can see the pain beginning to ease. I walked into the next room, took $20 from my wallet and folded it. Walked back to Susan with my hand out as if to shake it and when she reached for me I put the $20 in her hand and said, "Now, we're even!" Actually brought a smile and a laugh covered her face. Her loss will never go away, but she will survive if she can laugh and smile and remember all the wonderful moments she and Gary had together in their lives. No one is immortal! We will all face the same end. But, with help it may be easier to handle. I will be on my computer tomorrow telling her how nice it was to see her again. And, I just know she will be typing back to me. After all, we are email friends and cousins forever! It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.
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