The "As Time Goes On..." Story

It was an ordinary day.  No...Wait!  Certainly isn't ordinary!!  I kept telling people I would return from my fourth back surgery just as quickly as I returned from my first three.  They told me that I'm now older and that my body can't take the same pain and suffering that it once did.  Boy, where they right.  I can't even find a comfortable position to sit and type.  Maybe it was the fall I took last night when I forgot to turn on the light in the middle-room bedroom and fell against the wall, slipping into the chair that broke my fall.  So glad I put that chair there years ago.  I just knew back then that someone would fall in that room and the chair would block their fall.  Little did I know it would be me.  See, Jere, there really was a reason for that chair in that spot.  And the soft bedspread that was thrown on top of it was also a really neat idea.  Why didn't I think of that when I did it a few days ago.  So, I told my wife about my fall as we sat around the TV this morning.  "What, I can't believe you didn't hear it!" I said to her.  She never sleeps that soundly when we sleep together.  "Well, did you hurt yourself?" she asked me.  "Were you wearing your brace like you were supposed to be doing?"  "I fell because it was dark and for some stupid reason I forgot to turn on the lights.  Therefore I couldn't find my brace," I responded.  "But, you know, as I fell into the chair, that really was my first thought...that I forgot to put on my brace.  And then, when I hit the soft comforter, I was so glad it was there."  Well, I could go on and on, but I still haven't found a comfortable position...so I will stop typing and find a place to lay down.  It was another extraordiary day in the life of an ordinary guy.