The "You Can Call Me Rev. Woods" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Playing an online game when my wife, who was reading the morning newspaper, told me the bad news.  She said, "Look at this...you will no longer be able to marry couples in the state of Tennessee!"  I replied, "Jeez, that's one more state that I can't use my online diploma to marry a couple.  I can't marry couples any longer in Tennessee as well as Virginia and in some parts of my home state of Pennsylvania."  In Lancaster County, where I call home, I may marry couples, but the Lancaster County Register of Wills advises the couple to consult with an attorney to make certain the marriage is legal under state law.  It was back in 2010 that I finished my requirements to become an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church Monastery which has been issuing online ordination credentials since 1962.  

A sample of the certificate you receive.

About 3,000 to 5,000 people are ordained every month.  It takes about 24 hours for the church to process an ordination request and it's free!  If you care to have an actual certificate, that will cost you a few dollars.  I have my paperwork telling that I am an ordained minister and should  be called Reverend Woods.  Seems that a fellow by the name of Gabriel (isn't that a churchy name?), who lives in Tennessee, got the news that he can't marry his two male friends, since a new law just passed on May 21 that prevents online ministers from solemnizing weddings starting July 1.  Now Gabriel and two other ministers ordained online by the Universal Life Church Monastery have filed a lawsuit in federal court that alleges the new legislative action violates their rights of expression and religion.  Then a judge in Tennessee blocked the law and ordered a trial to be held.  

The article telling the news about Tennessee banning
online marriages in their state.

A date in November or December will tell the fate of the law.  Online ministers often marry gay couples or bilingual weddings or weddings that are interfaith, not religious or not affiliated with traditional churches.  Gabriel, who has performed four gay weddings, calls the new law a backdoor attack on the LGBT community, impeding his ability to legally marry.  Tennessee argues that an ordination that takes little more than a "click of a mouse" is not sufficient to authorize a person to solemnize marriages.  The state also says it is impossible to determine online whether a person had the "care of souls" as their law now states.  About one in seven weddings are performed by a friend of the couple says the president of the non-denominational Universal Life Church.  The online church, as of 2010, when I posted a story about my ordination, has ordained 18 million people.  My certificate tells me that I can perform weddings, baptisms, give communion, preach sermons and even count the money in the offering plate.  Can I claim a tax break for being a minister?  Why did I decide to be an online minister?  Just because I could do it!  I have never performed any type of service and really don't want to.  Hey, it was free and it made for a good story.  But, now the government is getting involved and who knows what will happen.  I'm sure nothing good will come from all of this. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.