Saturday, May 16, 2020

The "We've Come A Long Way, Baby" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just snapped a few photos of a few of my favorite baseball hats.  After checking my cell phone to make sure I liked the photos, I emailed them to my computer from my iPhone.  Less than a minute later I opened the email on my computer and placed the photos on my desktop.  Total time: perhaps 2 minutes.  And, in a few years that will be cut in half, or maybe even faster than that.  I can see myself putting on a pair of special glasses that carry a camera in them.  I will look at my hats and blink.  Then I will think to myself my email address and my glasses will send the link to my computer.  Up will pop the photo on my screen.  Remember...you heard it here first!  Remember when you used to look up phone numbers in the phone book?  I must admit I still have a phone book, but I'll bet that at least half of those numbers are no longer in service, since the owner of that phone no longer has a land line.  I can remember living at 929 North Queen Street in Lancaster, Pennsylvania as a child and having a big black telephone that sat on the kitchen table and had holes in a round dial where you placed your finger to turn the dial to the right until you hit a stop.  
We had a phone exactly like this in our
first home on Janet Ave.  Pick up the
phone, dial the number with the circular
dial in the center and talk on the head-
piece you held in your hand.
Dialed all 7 numbers and waited until the person you dialed answered their phone.  We didn't have an area code you had to dial first.  I can also remember having a yellow phone on the wall when I lived with my wife and family at 925 Janet Ave. in Grandview Heights.  It had a dial on the body or the camera that was used for calling.  One of my son's friends visited us and asked how you use it when he wanted to check in with his parents.  Before too long you will have an implant beneath your ear that will understand your thoughts and dial the number of the person you wish to speak with by using the stored numbers it has in its memory.  You can continue with your chores while talking to your friend wirelessly.  And, how about computers!  I will sitting at my desk at typing on my keyboard that I placed any where in the room and the desktop computer can still recognize it and place each letter in the document on my screen.  I can then store it for future use if I care to in the "Cloud".  So what is that?  I must admit, I have no idea.  
Methods of storing data years ago.
There are plenty of clouds in the sky today, but I'm sure that none of them is saving what I am now typing, for within another minute it will be miles away.  I can remember floppy disks, thumb drives, and even flash drives where I used to store my stories.  But, have you heard of the "Izzy"?  That's what's coming next you know.  It is a small chip that you have implanted in your thumb between two of you joints.  As long as your body temperature is at least 96.3 degrees the chip will scan your computer or phone and remember everything you have typed when you hit the "Save" button.  To retrieve it you must hit a "Preview" button on your computer or phone and it will reappear on your computer screen.  Won't have to worry about losing your SD card or your computer disc.  As you grow older and your finger gets larger, you will be able to store larger photographs or even movies on your thumb.  I am preparing to try out my invention within the next few months.  I'm still trying to figure out how to project images from my thumb onto a movie screen at the local movie theater.  We've come a long way, baby, from the phone that was two empty tin cans connected together with a piece of string to the "Izzy"; from the telephone with a cord to the one you hang on you ear; from the fax machine to the copier that wirelessly reads your desktop computer.  But, I do see the advent of brick and mortar stores once again.  If we don't have them, why would you want a really neat car to drive to the mall to show it off in the parking lot?  Ah!  Life is a circus with three rings; one in your nose, one in your ear and one on your nipple!  I can see that coming soon...wait a minute...my wife says people already are doing that.  Darn!  There goes that idea that I was sure would make me famous.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

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