Friday, June 19, 2020

The "Time-Tested Wedding Traditions" Story

It was an ordinary day.  And...the ordinary days all seem to be the same as they drag on and on.  To relieve some of the boredom, I began to go through some of the cabinets in our wet bar in our living room.  One cabinet had a variety of yearbooks from the high school from which I graduated as well as a few from the high school from which my wife Carol graduated.  At the bottom of the pile was the big white album with gold lettering across it which read "Our Wedding."  Grabbed it and headed to the family room to share it with my wife.  It's been quite a few years since we leafed through it, and it's always fun to share our thoughts about it once again.  As we went through it, page by page, we spent time reliving some of our wedding over again.  Some of the photographs brought back old wedding and marriage sayings which are old-time wedding traditions.  
Carol in the church entrance before the wedding.
We talked about not seeing each other on our wedding day until, while standing at the front of St. James Episcopal with my best man, my brother Steve, seeing her coming down the aisle with her dad.  Her flowing long-sleeved gown filled most of the aisle and her dad looked so proud as she held his arm.  She said she was wearing something old and something new which was a saying that was necessary to bring good luck into your marriage.  
Our wedding party.  One the few color photos we have.
Her white gown was picked because white dresses were supposed to be virginal and pure.  Actually, I didn't realize you could buy a wedding dress in any color but white, but it wasn't until the mid-1800s that white became popular.  Carol told me you can still buy a colored wedding dress, even black!  Carol had a maid of honor (unmarried female), a matron of honor (married female) along with three bridesmaids.  
Carol after our wedding was over.
I had a best man, my brother Steve, and 4 ushers.  Having bridesmaids and ushers dated back to Ancient Rome when having a bridal party was required to be witnesses to vouch for the couple.  Actually in many cultures, bridesmaids acted as incognito bodyguards and all dressed the same as the bride to prevent kidnappers and thieves from taking off with the bride.  At the end of the wedding ceremony we exchanged wedding bands which we still have to this day.  Long ago, men didn't wear wedding rings.  
Our wedding bands which we still wear today.
It wasn't until the 1940s that men's wedding rings became socially acceptable and were seen as a romantic link between married couples.  I still wear the original ring that I got from my bride on our wedding day over 50 years ago.  Actually, my knuckle and finger have grown to the point where I can't remove it!  Someone will have to cut it off after I die.  
Thousands of computer chads fill the air.
Another custom of getting married is the tossing of the celebratory rice as the bride and groom leave the church after the wedding.  Years ago in Ancient Rome, wheat was the best signifier of fertility, with rice taking up its role in Europe in the Middle Ages.  Lentils, oats, peas and other grains were also popular.  At our wedding, guests threw little chads of paper from the computer printers back in the mid-1960s.  They were so small and hard to clean up that the church later banned throwing them.  
Our wedding cake.
At our reception, which was held at the church's Parish House, the women's club at the church prepared the food and the large wedding cake was beautiful.  Carol and I kept the top layer of the cake and put it in our freezer at our first home at Manor House Apartments.  On our first anniversary we thawed it out and had a piece to celebrate.  Don't remember it tasting as bad on our wedding day as it did on our anniversary.  Saving the top layer of the wedding cake was a tradition begun in the early 1900s, but it was said back then that it was to be eaten at the birth of a first child.  If we had waited for our first child to eat it, the cake might have killed both of us.  Wedding traditions are neat to talk about and look back on from time to time.  And the more wedding anniversaries we celebrate, the more fun it becomes.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

Carol with her mom and dad, Grace and Charlie.
Me with my dad Paul, mom Dottie and brother (on right) Steve.

PS:  On June 17, 1967, Carol and I were married at St. James Episcopal Church in downtown historical Lancaster, Pennsylvania.  We recently celebrated 53 years of marriage!  We shared a box full of red roses and some greeting cards for our anniversary!


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