The "An All-Around Great Gift" Story

 It was an ordinary day.  Pulled a pair of old jeans off a metal hook in my closet so my wife could throw them in the washing machine tomorrow when she did a load of wash.  Before I threw them in the laundry basket, I checked the pockets to make sure I hadn't left anything valuable in them.  Nothing buy a black and white handkerchief which was in my left rear pocket.  I knew it would be there, since I always grab a handkerchief from the top drawer on my chest of drawers when I put a new pair of pants on that haven't been worn since they were last washed.  I assume most people did the same thing, but after reading a story titled "Use a Hankie, Dude!," which was in the December/January Reader's Digest, I evidently assumed wrong.  I have used a pocket handkerchief all my life and if you open my top drawer you will see probably a dozen or so white and colored handkerchiefs in the right hand side of the drawer.  The writer of the article in the magazine said that his son told him he was the perfect person to write a story about using a handkerchief, since he evidently is a second coming of myself.  

You will never find me without a handkerchief in my right rear butt pocket no matter if I'm wearing a pair of jeans, pair of dress pants, pair or shorts or even a pair of sweatpants.  Since sweatpants don't usually have a rear pocket, you'll find my handkerchief in the left side pocket.  How can anybody not carry a handkerchief in their pocket?  What if they needed to clean their glasses...what would they use?  What if they needed to wipe their brow in the hot summer sun...what would they use?  What if they actually needed to blow their nose...what would they use?  A tissue?  Nah, they break apart to easily and are hard to put back in your pocket if they are falling apart after you have used them.  A good cotton handkerchief is what will do the trick for you.  The story tells me that I am old fashioned when I stick the handkerchief in my pocket in the morning when I get dressed, but so what!  What are they going to do if they cut themselves badly and need a tourniquet around their wrist so they don't bleed to death.  A tissue?  Yeah, right!  When my grandkids were young and I would take them to visit the train station and they had a runny nose, what would I grab?  My handkerchief.  How about if I am making hotdogs on the grill in the backyard and the handle on the top of the grill is too hot to touch with a bare hand.  A handkerchief would be the answer...and it's always in my back pocket.  What if you want to open the door of the supermarket right after someone else opened it who might have had some disease.  You really want to touch that door handle?  Not me!  I grab my handkerchief from my pocket and use that to open the door.  The handkerchief is the new essential public health appliance.  Wrap it around the handle of your shopping cart if necessary.  When paying for your groceries with a credit card, Doni't touch the credit card device after someone else has touched it.  Use your handkerchief.  Now, the secret to my story today is to perhaps carry more than one handkerchief with you so you don't have to use each handkerchief more than once.  So...what do you think...are you ready to carry a handkerchief in your pocket...or better yet...one in each pocket.  For the ladies, you can keep a few in you purse or stuff one in you pocket or even put one down the front of you bra, assuming you wear one!  Handy place to store a handkerchief!  And, when one of your relatives asks what you can use for your birthday or perhaps Christmas...tell them a pack of handkerchiefs.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.