The "A Story Written By A High School Senior"

 Foreword: Every Sunday my local newspaper publishes stories written by local high school students on a variety of topics.  The heading at the top of the page in very large type reads "generation Z(eal)" and is devoted to the opinions of young Lancasterians.  I found that one of the recent stories was not only interesting, but told how those Lancasterians who live in a small town feel about being a child of divorced parents.  Please read on...

I was 8 when I heard my dad's truck leave late at night.  I remember trying to wake the next morning, as if from a bad dream.  Mom told me that she and Dad wouldn't be living under the same roof anymore.  Kids around the world are growing up in single-parent homes, so this wasn't something uniquely traumatic to my life alone.  A staggering percentage of marriages end in divorce and it isn't unusual to find kids switching between parents' houses every week.  Divorces happen for lots of reasons and at pivotal times in kids' lives.   Despite the vows of "till death do us part," there's no warranty on marriage...no promise of 10 years or 20 years or satifaction guaranteed.  In a 2014 paper for the Oglethorpe Journal of Undergraduate Research, Kirstn Glaeser wrote:  "It is well known that the impact of a divorce has a negative influence on the children within the home". Talk about an understatement.  Unfortunately, I believe that these negative influences are much more prevalent and pronounced for kids growing up in small religious towns were everyone sees each other at church on Sunday and gossips about the latest drama.  Some Christian churches teach that divorce is a sin.  In Malaci 2:16, God literally says: "I hate divorce."  Unfortunately, church doctrine like that hurts confused and damaged me in a way that my parents' divorce never did.  I remember waiting in the cafeteria lunch line for my chicken nuggets when a friend casually announced: "God doesn't like that your parents are divorced.  We can't be friends anymore."  As if the emotional burdens of our parents' divorce weren't weighty enough for kids--now we're social outcasts in the Christian community, too?   Kids like me, in religious towns all across this country, unjustly carry the stigma of divorce. And I struggle to understand why.  We are innocent bystanders in adult drama.  Teachers I respect in the school have told me: "You're a good kid.  I'd have no idea your parents are divorced."  What a discouraging thing to say. I'm sure they meant well, but the implicit message was that they expect me, a byproduct of a "broken" home, to be a troublemaker, or to struggle academically or socially.  How did I end up so respectful?  Why did I invest myself in excelling in academics and extracurriculars?  I understand that many adults in the Christian community have firm stances on moral issues like abortion, the death penalty and even divorce.  Their minds are made up and not much can sway them from what they've been believing for years.  Adapting to new or evolving social norms isn't seen as an option.  Unfortunately, gossiping about divorced parents and their children will not make the issue go away.  Instead it makes life far worse for the children.  It makes them feel isolated and marginalized in the one place that  should have stayed normal.  The church is meant to provide comfort and help to those who are hurt snd suffering --- especially children.  How conveniently some forget the words of Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew: "If anyone causes these little ones --- those who believe in me -- to stumble,  it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."  Children aren't the cause of their parents' divorce, and they shouldn't be punished for it.  Children of divorce suffer enough heartache as it is.  The vicious judgment from moralizing peers and adults in the religious community needs to stop.  

 Written by Bryna Kelly, 12th grade, Garden Spot High School.  Unless you have gone through a life-altering event such as Bryna has, you can never know the pain it has brought to her over her short lifetime.  And...it seems that the places where she should have gotten help, her church and her school, never gave it to her!  I taught school for 30 years and was a loyal member of my church, and during that time I tried to be make myself open for those students that needed extra help with their lives.  I never judged them because of the problems they encountered in their home life.  And, after reading the story written by Bryna in my newspaper, I only hope I was of help to my students when they needed it most.   Bryna is a senior at Garden Spot High School, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.  She is far wise beyond her years!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.