The "Stay Off The Fence" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just got off the phone with my brother.  We were going back and forth with each other, trying to remember some of the things our mom or dad would say to us when we were younger.  Things like: "You need to finish your peas before you can have dessert."  As we grew older it was: "no dessert until you finish your homework."  Then there was: "You make a better door than a window," if I happen to be in front of the TV.  Then there was the one that my dad would say when we were laughing at the TV and he would say: "Stop laughing so hard or you'll pee yourself.   Another good one was: "If you need the car tonight, you better get out there and wash it first!"  Then there was the usual..."you make a better door than a window," if I was standing in front of the TV.  Oh yeah,  there was always the "no TV until your homework is finished."  But my all time favorite was, "stay off the fence or you'll break your arm!"  The background for that remark goes back a few years before when my mom and dad had plans to visit friends.  I had just removed the wooden stick and cloth strip from the wing of one of my pet pigeons I kept in a wooden cage in the back yard.  He had a broken wing when I bought him and I was nursing him so he could fly once again.  I really didn't want him to take off, but he did and I found him on the roof of a neighbor's garage.  I climbed up on the swinging fence of their garage with a rope in hopes of lassoing him.  The fence swung open and I fell off and broke my arm.  Dad had to take me to the hospital.  It was the same evening that he and mom were going out with friends.  They didn't make it and they weren't so happy about it.  So, the saying, "stay off the fence," was used over and over for just about anything they didn't want me to do.  My friends would look at me when they heard him say, "stay off the fence."  I heard that quote until I had children and I began to use the same quote to my children.  That was one saying that I will never forget and I'm sure that those who heard  me use it must have thought I was nuts.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.