Saturday, October 28, 2023

The "Aging In Style" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Reading a story titled "How to keep a positive mindset about getting older."  Story began at a pool party when Johnnie Cooper climbed onto the diving board, executed a perfect dive and then joined a raucous game of Marco Polo.  The occasion?  Her 90th birthday!  Now, I added the explanation mark at the end of the sentence, since I felt it was needed.  I'm just about ten years younger than Johnnie and I doubt I could dive off a board into water anymore as she did.  You did pick up on the "she" part of the sentence, didn't you?  Perhaps it might be her enthusiasm for getting older that was part of the reason she has lived such a long, rich life.  While everyone's experience with aging is different, experts are increasingly finding that having a positive mindset is associated with aging well.  At times I feel as if I can do just about everything I used to do, physically speaking, until I try to do that thing!  Then, I sadly change my mind.  I know that everyone experiences aging differently, and I guess I have to get used to that.  I just can't do some things as well as I used to do them.  I can no longer hit a baseball and run to 1st base like I used to.  Actually, I'm not sure I could even hit the ball anymore.  But, put me next to a pool table and I can stick with just about anyone for a few rounds.  And...by that time the other person is just as tired as I might be.  A decades long study of 660 people published in 2002 showed that those with positive beliefs about getting older lived 7 1/2 years longer than those who felt negatively about it.  Since that time, research has found that a positive mindset toward aging is associated with lower blood pressure, a generally longer and healthier life, and a reduced risk of developing dementia.  Research also shows that people with a more positive perception of aging are more likely to take preventative health measures which in turn may help them live longer.  I know I can't stop aging, but I don't have to dread it!  I've found a few ways to help shift my thinking.  I could try a week of "age belief journaling" where I write down every portrayal of an older person - be it in a movie, on social media or in a conversation, then question if that portrayal was negative or positive, and whether the person could have been presented differently.  Simply identifying the sources of my conceptions about aging can help me gain some distance from negative ideas.  I read about a group of 100 adults with an average age of 81 who were exposed to positive images of aging and showed most had improved perceptions of aging and improved physical function due to the exposure that had with positive people.   Another way to help with my aging is to find a few people my age or older who have done something special that most have never done.  Find out how they accomplished their feat and strive to be like them.  Hey....sounds easy, doesn't it.  Then I read that research suggests that optimistic women are more likely to live past 90 than less optimistic women, regardless of race or ethnicity.  But, thinking more positively about aging doesn't mean papering over real concerns with happy thoughts - or using phrases like "You haven't aged a bit!" as a compliment.  Instead, try to look at the honest reality with optimism.  If you're feeling deflated that your tennis game isn't like it used to be, just remember that you can at least still play tennis!  Another way to feel more positive about aging is to examine what worries I may have and reflect on how troubling those concerns actually are.  For instance,  My left foot hurts from time to time when I try to walk for any length of time, while my right foot usually feels fine.  Then I might reason...they are both my feet and they should both feel the same...and perhaps they will if I think they will.  And... before long they just might feel the same!  The point is that while getting older may be contributing to my feet hurting, so believe they can both feel better and maybe they will!  Focus on what you're gaining.  Research has shown that emotional well-being generally increases with age, and certain aspects of cognition, like conflict resolution, often improves in later life.  With time, we're likely to develop more reliance!  Successful aging doesn't mean I won't get sick, encounter loss or require care at some point, and no one said that changing any mind-set is easy.  But, if you can, it may allow you to see yourself more clearly "as a person with lived experiences and wisdom" as you age.  Hey...I plan to live to be...well, maybe 95!  Betcha I can!  Try and stop me!!  And...before long I will be 95!  I did it!  Now, I have to live that dream!  I know I can do it!!  Follow with me and we'll see!  I'll keep you informed...as long as you can live to stay informed!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.    

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