Are You Listening? A Story From The "Fishwrapper"

Prelude:  I had posted this story a few weeks ago and recently found it had been deleted.  It may be a bit behind in your schedule, but I still think you may enjoy it anyway.  Please read on.....  It was an ordinary day.  The month of July is upon us and has been in full swing.  There is plenty to do, and if you hestitate a day or two to jump on the bandwagon, it will pass you by.  It is summertime, so make sure you work in a couple of picnics and some outdoor games.  A swim in the pond or lake will help you cool off after a day of sweating in the hot sunshine.  If none of that appeals to you, remember that it is National Grilling Month, as well.  No one is going to complain if you fire up the grill and serve some delicious steaks or pork tenderloins.  Even burgers or sausages will do.  And if you decide that a campfire is a better options, get the flames going.  Roasting hotdogs and burgers are great activities the whole family can enjoy, and they won't break the budget.  You can top off either one with a mouthwatering dessert of s'mores or a mountain pie filled with your favorite pie filling.  You get the idea??  There are plenty of options and probably the biggest mistake is forgetting until it is too late, and you end up playing the "should of, would of, could of" game.  "I seem to do that quite often!"  But, your thinker wasn't fast enough, and you didn't have the ingredients ready.  So some activities get missed or don't happen because you fail to plan and some don't happen because they get rained upon.  It is July and so thunderstorms can happen.  And the rain is so welcome and so refreshing, but your poor party is a disaster.  How about cheering on a beautiful summer day?  Any day would be a good time to cheer someone who was lonely.  Well, there is certainly nothing wrong with making it happen on another day.  Take them some fresh-picked flowers, play some activity with them , do something you know they will enjoy.  And remember that they can be someone of any age, young or old, who is going through some kind of struggle.  Taking time out of your day to show them some kindness is sure to bring joy to their heart.  What about a special day set aside for listening?  You heard correctly!  Really, this is something we need to do a better job of every day.  Hearing is a sense that most people are born with.  Listening, on the other hand, is an activity people choose to engage in or not, and it requires learned skills.  Comunication skills are an important role in the success of any business or organization.  They are vital to all our relationships.  It is so easy to tune out what a person is saying, and then we are left picking up the pieces from our misunderstandings.  What if we had a listening culture where everyone truly stopped to hear what the other person was saying?  A listening culture transforms relationships and makes people feel valued.  Yet, most people talk a lot more than they listen.  Most of us can't claim that we consistently listen well.  So how do you set out to build a culture of effective listening?  Here are a few steps to begin with.  1. TELL THE TRUTH!  Nothing will make people tune you out faster than sensing that something doesn't sound right. If you want people to truly listen, be sure they can believe what you say.  Encourage transparency and  truth telling, at all times.  2. BE INTERESTING!  If you want people to listen, speak in an interesting way.  Tell meaningful stories that are of general interest and not just about yourself.  Be informed and be able to explain why your project really matters.  People can sense if you know what you are talking about.  3. BE INTERESTED!  Approach conversations with empathy and compassion.  Let your words and body language show that you're very interested in who they are and what they're saying.  Imagine the possibilities if more executives approached their employees with a desire to really understand what makes them tick.   Or if more sales reps worked to truly listen to what customers were saying about their lifestyles and values.  4. REWARD TRANSPARENCY!  Don't freak out every time you get bad news.  Use it as a stepping stone to better yourself. Thank people for bringing you the truth even when it hurts.  Surround yourself with those who will challenge your ideas.  Encourage those willing to speak up.  5, BRAINSTORM!  The more interaction people have with each other, the more chances they'll get to practice their listening skills.  Brainstorming sessions are a great way to encourage knowledge sharing and strengthen our listening skills.  Those are just a few ideas for how we can learn to improve our listening skills.  The reality is that someone who talks all the time and engages in conversation without thinking through what he is saying gets boring.  Really boring!  Remember to try and take some time to listen to others and their ideas.  Listen to what is happening in their life!  Maybe that is what it takes.  Time with others!  Time to relax and listen!  Best of luck with your communication skills....both speaking and listening.    It was another day in the life of an ordinary guy.