The "You've Been Warned! Story?

It was an ordinary day.  Just picked up my latest copy of "The Fishwrapper."  There were several interesting stories as well as "To Do" items, but the one quarter-page story that I found the most interesting was titled "You've Been Warned!"  These were actual warnings posted on products, packages and bottles.  I knew I just had to forward it to you through my blog.  How can anyone be so stupid that they need instructions such as those listed?  So... now you too  have it and..."You've Been Warned!"  

A. Instructions for a hairdryer.  Do not use while sleeping! 

B. A bag of Fritos.  You could be a winner! No purchase necessary!  Details inside.

C. A bar of Dial bath soap.  Directions: Use like regular soap!

D. A frozen dinner package.  Serving suggestion: Defrost

E. A hotel-provided shower cap box.  Fits one head.

F.  Marks & Spencer@ Bread Pudding.  Product will not be hot after heating.

G. Packaging from a Rowenta Iron.  Do not iron clothes on body.

H. Boot's children's cough medicine.  Do not drive car or operate machinery.

I. A bottle of Nytol@ (a sleeping aid). Warning: May cause drowsiness.

J. A Korean kitchen knife.  Warning: Keep out of children!

K. A string of Chinese-made Christmas lights.  For indoor or outdoor use only.

L. An American Airlines package of nuts.  Instructions...Open package, eat nuts.

M. A Swedish chainsaw.  Do not attempt to stop chain saw with your hands.

N. A package of Sunmaid@ raisins.  Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?

A final note was placed at the bottom of the warnings that read:  In spite of warnings, often not much happens until the status quo is more painful than change. 

It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ornery guy!