The "Time-Tested Wedding Traditions" Story

It was an ordinary day.  And...the ordinary days all seem to be the same as they drag on and on.  To relieve some of the boredom, I began to go through some of the cabinets in our wet bar in our living room.  One cabinet had a variety of yearbooks from the high school from which I graduated as well as a few from the high school from which my wife Carol graduated.  At the bottom of the pile was the big white album with gold lettering across it which read "Our Wedding."  Grabbed it and headed to the family room to share it with my wife.  It's been quite a few years since we leafed through it, and it's always fun to share our thoughts about it once again.  As we went through it, page by page, we spent time reliving some of our wedding over again.  Some of the photographs brought back old wedding and marriage sayings which are old-time wedding traditions.  

Carol in the church entrance before the wedding.

We talked about not seeing each other on our wedding day until, while standing at the front of St. James Episcopal with my best man, my brother Steve, seeing her coming down the aisle with her dad.  Her flowing long-sleeved gown filled most of the aisle and her dad looked so proud as she held his arm.  She said she was wearing something old and something new which was a saying that was necessary to bring good luck into your marriage.  

Our wedding party.  One the few color photos we have.

Her white gown was picked because white dresses were supposed to be virginal and pure.  Actually, I didn't realize you could buy a wedding dress in any color but white, but it wasn't until the mid-1800s that white became popular.  Carol told me you can still buy a colored wedding dress, even black!  Carol had a maid of honor (unmarried female), a matron of honor (married female) along with three bridesmaids.  

Carol after our wedding was over.

I had a best man, my brother Steve, and 4 ushers.  Having bridesmaids and ushers dated back to Ancient Rome when having a bridal party was required to be witnesses to vouch for the couple.  Actually in many cultures, bridesmaids acted as incognito bodyguards and all dressed the same as the bride to prevent kidnappers and thieves from taking off with the bride.  At the end of the wedding ceremony we exchanged wedding bands which we still have to this day.  Long ago, men didn't wear wedding rings.  

Our wedding bands which we still wear today.

It wasn't until the 1940s that men's wedding rings became socially acceptable and were seen as a romantic link between married couples.  I still wear the original ring that I got from my bride on our wedding day over 50 years ago.  Actually, my knuckle and finger have grown to the point where I can't remove it!  Someone will have to cut it off after I die.  

Thousands of computer chads fill the air.

Another custom of getting married is the tossing of the celebratory rice as the bride and groom leave the church after the wedding.  Years ago in Ancient Rome, wheat was the best signifier of fertility, with rice taking up its role in Europe in the Middle Ages.  Lentils, oats, peas and other grains were also popular.  At our wedding, guests threw little chads of paper from the computer printers back in the mid-1960s.  They were so small and hard to clean up that the church later banned throwing them.  

Our wedding cake.

At our reception, which was held at the church's Parish House, the women's club at the church prepared the food and the large wedding cake was beautiful.  Carol and I kept the top layer of the cake and put it in our freezer at our first home at Manor House Apartments.  On our first anniversary we thawed it out and had a piece to celebrate.  Don't remember it tasting as bad on our wedding day as it did on our anniversary.  Saving the top layer of the wedding cake was a tradition begun in the early 1900s, but it was said back then that it was to be eaten at the birth of a first child.  If we had waited for our first child to eat it, the cake might have killed both of us.  Wedding traditions are neat to talk about and look back on from time to time.  And the more wedding anniversaries we celebrate, the more fun it becomes.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

Carol with her mom and dad, Grace and Charlie.

Me with my dad Paul, mom Dottie and brother (on right) Steve.

PS:  On June 17, 1967, Carol and I were married at St. James Episcopal Church in downtown historical Lancaster, Pennsylvania.  We recently celebrated 53 years of marriage!  We shared a box full of red roses and some greeting cards for our anniversary!

The "You Can Call Me Rev. Woods" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Playing an online game when my wife, who was reading the morning newspaper, told me the bad news.  She said, "Look at this...you will no longer be able to marry couples in the state of Tennessee!"  I replied, "Jeez, that's one more state that I can't use my online diploma to marry a couple.  I can't marry couples any longer in Tennessee as well as Virginia and in some parts of my home state of Pennsylvania."  In Lancaster County, where I call home, I may marry couples, but the Lancaster County Register of Wills advises the couple to consult with an attorney to make certain the marriage is legal under state law.  It was back in 2010 that I finished my requirements to become an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church Monastery which has been issuing online ordination credentials since 1962.  

A sample of the certificate you receive.

About 3,000 to 5,000 people are ordained every month.  It takes about 24 hours for the church to process an ordination request and it's free!  If you care to have an actual certificate, that will cost you a few dollars.  I have my paperwork telling that I am an ordained minister and should  be called Reverend Woods.  Seems that a fellow by the name of Gabriel (isn't that a churchy name?), who lives in Tennessee, got the news that he can't marry his two male friends, since a new law just passed on May 21 that prevents online ministers from solemnizing weddings starting July 1.  Now Gabriel and two other ministers ordained online by the Universal Life Church Monastery have filed a lawsuit in federal court that alleges the new legislative action violates their rights of expression and religion.  Then a judge in Tennessee blocked the law and ordered a trial to be held.  

The article telling the news about Tennessee banning
online marriages in their state.

A date in November or December will tell the fate of the law.  Online ministers often marry gay couples or bilingual weddings or weddings that are interfaith, not religious or not affiliated with traditional churches.  Gabriel, who has performed four gay weddings, calls the new law a backdoor attack on the LGBT community, impeding his ability to legally marry.  Tennessee argues that an ordination that takes little more than a "click of a mouse" is not sufficient to authorize a person to solemnize marriages.  The state also says it is impossible to determine online whether a person had the "care of souls" as their law now states.  About one in seven weddings are performed by a friend of the couple says the president of the non-denominational Universal Life Church.  The online church, as of 2010, when I posted a story about my ordination, has ordained 18 million people.  My certificate tells me that I can perform weddings, baptisms, give communion, preach sermons and even count the money in the offering plate.  Can I claim a tax break for being a minister?  Why did I decide to be an online minister?  Just because I could do it!  I have never performed any type of service and really don't want to.  Hey, it was free and it made for a good story.  But, now the government is getting involved and who knows what will happen.  I'm sure nothing good will come from all of this. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "A Provo Beach Wedding" Story

Work crew putting the finishing touches to the beach gazebo.

It was an ordinary day.  That was until I saw the work crew at the Ocean Club Resort, with the blue shirts reading STAFF, delivering lumber to the beach along Grace Bay in Provendenciales.  There had been talk of a wedding taking place on one of the world's most beautiful beaches and this confirms it.  

Two young women added the finishing touches.

Wasn't long before the STAFF had the beach gazebo finished and two young women began spreading vines and flowers over it.  I gathered my camera and walked toward the action when I came upon a fellow my age wearing a black Viet Nam baseball hat and asked if he knew anything about the wedding.  His name was Al and he was from California and it was his niece getting married today.  The bride was from San Francisco and the groom from Los Angeles and Al was going to perform the wedding ceremony for them.  We had a nice conversation and I asked if he would mind if I take photos of the wedding.  Told me he would give me his email address so I could send some of photos to him.  Before long the beach gazebo looked amazing, chairs had been moved into place on the sand and the sand had been raked smooth.  

The wedding guests await the Bride.

The sky was overcast the majority of the day with several threatening black clouds passing by, but by 4:30, a half hour before the wedding, the clouds parted and the sun broke through.  I arrived with my camera about fifteen minutes early and caught some of the early arrivers.  

The Bride arrives with Father as her escort.

Shortly the groom arrived with family and the wedding photogra- phers began taking photos.  The bride arrived about fifteen minutes late, but looked beautiful on the arm of her father as they walked behind the flower girl from the resort's beach restaurant toward the flowered covered gazebo.  Rev. Al began the ceremony and in about 15 minutes had pronounced them man and wife and gave them permission for the wedding kiss.  

Reverend Al performs the ceremony.

The gathering of about 40 cheered and applauded the new bride and groom as the photographer gathered them along the water for photographs.  I snapped my final photo and headed back toward my room.  This was the third wedding I have had the chance to photograph since beginning to travel in the Caribbean in 2001. My wife Carol, along with friends Jerry and Just Sue, had the honor of attending the wedding of a young couple in St. Croix in the early 2000s.  We met them on the beach earlier in the day and they said they had no one to stand up for them at their wedding and asked if the four of us would do that for them.  Had a great time taking photos and enjoying the wedding and small reception on the beach.  A few years later, while on the island of Jamaica, the four of us were relaxing on the beach when a young couple walked by in their wedding gown and tux, walked to the water's edge where they met a minister and were married.  The entire beach crowd got to be witness to their wedding and when it was over they waved and left.  Well, I thoroughly enjoyed my experience today and must find Al tomorrow and get his email address to send him a few of the photos I took.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The Rev. Al presents the newlyweds to the guests.

The Bride and Groom.