The "World's Oldest Documented Human May Be A Fraud" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Reading an online edition of "The Washington Post" and found a rather interesting story about a woman named Jeanne Calment who for years reigned as the oldest documented person to have lived.  She died in 1997 at the age of 122.  Our local newspaper frequently lists names of those who have reached the age of 100 as well as publishing obituaries that feature people who had died and were 100 years old or older.  Many of my relatives have lived well into their 90s so who's to say how long I might be able to entertain you with the stories I write on a daily basis.  Jeanne Calment died on August 4, 1997 in Arles, France where she lived most of her life.  But, recently a Russian mathematician, Nikolay Zak, claimed that Jeanne was actually Yvonne Calment who took her mother's identity to elude inheritance taxes in the 1930s.  If so, Yvonne Calment would have been 99 in 1978 and not 122.  Zak (neat name, so it is) backed up his theory by telling that the later Calment, who recently died, was nearly the same height at age 100 plus as she had been at a younger age, and it is proven that people usually lose height as they age.  Plus, a passport for Jeanne in the 1930s shows a different eye color entered for her than what was noted in later life.  Zak tells of a litany of discrepancies in her accounts of details of her life over time.  A French woman by the name of Jean-Marie Robine is hoping that Zak's theory is all a hoax, since she wrote a book telling of the life of Jeanne Calment and is trying to sell the book.  Not going to go over very well if all she wrote was a lie given to her by the real Jeanne Calment's daughter.  Robine believes that the Jeanne that died was the real-deal and was 122.  She believes she got that far in life because of a personal regimen of diet, medical treatment, exercise and good genes.  Actually, scientists believe we may live to be 150, but would anyone really want to live that long?  So, whether it was the real Calment or her daughter posing as the real Calment, she did defy the odds since she smoked until he was so old she couldn't light her cigarette without assistance.  She also rode a bicycle until she was into her 100s and loved chocolate so much that she ate 2 pounds a week.  Not bad for a woman that was blind after in her later years, almost deaf and used a wheelchair.  So, what do you think?  I find it hard to believe that a blind and deaf woman could live to be 122 years old.  Not sure how she even lived to be 99.  Do you think the newspaper made up the entire story to sell more newspapers?  Does make for good reading, though.  If the stories are all a hoax, I do feel bad for the person who lived second longest for they were never mentioned in any article.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.  

The "Perspectives On The Afterlife" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Hanging some lighted icicles along the front of our garage to brighten the place in anticipation of the Christmas holiday.  When I finished I needed a few large staples or clips to hold the electric cord against the side of our garage door opening.  

A memory from my dad.

Found the bottle of staples that I brought home with me when my father died eight years ago and I had to clean up his basement work area.  The bottle is one of the few items that I still have that are a reminder of my dad.  Another vivid memory is of my dad as he lay in his bed at the retirement community known as Moravian Manor with a young man by his side talking with him.  That young man, who was about 50 years my dad's junior, was Rev. Tom Purdy who was a member at St. James Episcopal church where we all were members.  Tom was summoned to dad's bedside and as I listened from the hallway, I heard my dad ask Tom what he could expect to happen when he died.  My dad, as well as all of his family, were Christians and he was anxious as to what he could expect in the very near future. Tom talked to dad about the Bible verse, John 3:16.  The verse from the New Testament tells you that "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believed in him shall not perish, but have eternal life."  The "eternal life" to which the verse refers is the Christian version of heaven, a good place populated by God, his angels and the souls of the faithful.  Those that believe that Jesus is the one, true God, ascent to heaven after they die; the souls of those who do not believe are cast into the Christian version of hell; a fiery pit of despair.  Dad wanted to know if his brother, who died in an automobile accident when dad was only six, would be there waiting for him.  Some of what Rev. Purdy was telling dad was hard to hear from a distance, but I'm sure dad was happy with the response for after Tom left, I went back in his room and he had this peaceful look about him.  Wasn't long after that he died with mom, who was also a resident at Moravian Manor in Lititz, Pennsylvania, by his side.  Shortly after, I received a call and before long I was with her as we sat next to dad.   So, what do you think happens to you when you die?  I recently read an article that tries to explain what the four main religions: Christianity, Judaism, Islam and Buddhism believe happens to you when you die.   A few other items that some Christians believe is that you have to be baptized  before you can reach heaven and that after death a soul must wait in an intermediary space, known as purgatory, for purification before traveling on to heaven. Some Christians also believe in the reincarnation of your soul in another body.  As far as Judaism, one local rabbi in Lancaster, says that many are content with the knowledge that they are not going to know until they get there, if there's a "there" (heaven) to which they ascend.  Some Jews contend that a Messiah is coming, and that the dead will be resurrected and stand in judgement before the Messiah in Jerusalem.  Islam conceives of life as a proving ground for the afterlife and anyone who has done an atom's weight of ill will also face its consequences.  Upon death the soul leaves the body and experiences an intermediary processional of reward and punishment before a final judgment day.  Buddhism focuses on compassion and composure in life.  With respect to death, the standard terminology doesn't really apply to Buddhism.  Instead, Buddhists believe in the immortality of the mind.  Instead of an afterlife, the belief is in the perpetual refinement of the mind across time in a continuous series of lives.  Will any of us ever be immortal?  Will we ever know until it happens?  No matter what religion we believe in or if we may be an athiest, death is inevitable.  And, will we all spend it the same way?  Are these questions for another lifetime?  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "I'm Telling You To Do It Right Now!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  What do you do on an ordinary day?  I usually begin my day by walking down my driveway and retrieving the morning newspaper.  Sometimes my cat Creamsicle would walk with me, but he has passed, so now I walk by myself.  In nice weather I find a seat on my rear deck and begin to peruse the front page of the paper.  Then I hit the obits and the editorial page before I check out the "Dear Abby" column.  What? You don't read "Dear Abby."  She offers some pretty good advice at times.  She must be good since she has been in the Lancaster newspaper for years.  The column was founded in 1956 by Pauline Phillips under the pen name of Abigail Van Buren.  Pauline wrote the column until 2000 when her daughter Jeanne Phillips began to help with the column.  Jeanne became the sole author in August 2002 when she announced that her mother had Alzheimer's disease.  Pauline Phillips died on January 16, 2013 at the age of 94.  So you see that much advice has been offered to the world by the Phillips family over the years.  I share this information since the column today deals with something close to me.  Column was titled "Suicide rate among older men is overlooking tragedy."  Writer wrote to "Dear Abby" telling her that her elderly father's dearest friend had recently committed suicide.  Shot himself in the head.  Seems her dad has lost three of his best friends to suicide recently and was wondering if he was secretly suffering.  The suicide rate for men 70 and older in the U.S. is double the overall suicide rate.  How can this be I keep thinking?  Many of my friends are over 70, as I am, and I now worry what they may be thinking of doing in the near future.  I have a few friends who have medical problems such as I do and I now wonder if they may have thought of ending their life at some time.  How do I tell if they are depressed?  I don't feel I'm equipped to be able to diagnose their depression.  The writer went on to ask Abby how can we help prevent these tragedies.  As for myself, I was certainly interested in the answer.  She first says that men aren't as open about sharing their feelings as women so it is very hard to tell if a man is depressed.  Many men, such as myself, were taught all our lives that expressing emotions made you "weak", so we have stayed silent.  Men who were the family "breadwinners" may have now retired and no longer are needed in that position.  They may now fell unwanted.  Abby lists risk factors that should be observed such as:  Have they lost a wife or significant other?  Are they alone and isolated?  Do they think they are a burden?  Do they have a firearm in the house?  Do they lack motivation or energy?  Have they lost interest in eating or getting out of the house?  Abby tells her audience that many think these things are happening because a person is old.  Hey, anyone can display these symptoms I just listed no matter what age they may be.  Should you just ignore the symptoms because someone is old?  She suggests you should try to get an older man to volunteer or use their lifetime skills to help someone in the same type of occupation.  Help them stay connected.  Her final thought for the day was if you need advice about how to approach a friend or family member whom you suspect may be depressed, call the national Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  Toll-free at 880-273-8255.  Could save a life!  Don't wait until it is too late.  Do it right now!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.  

The "A Remarkable Memory From My First Year Of Teaching!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  On April 2, 2019 I received the first of a few emails from a fellow named Steve.  It read:  Hi Mr. Woods...Have been on Facebook for about 2 weeks and found your blog.  Would like to connect to talk about my printing experience.  Steve Graver.  

Steve Graver, 1969 graduate of MTHS.

Recognized the name immediately!  Steve was one of my students the first year I taught Graphic Arts at Mannheim Township High School.  I had begun teaching wood and metal shop in the fall of 1967 at my alma mater and found they still had the small print shop next to the drafting room.  Asked my department head, Mr. George Ehemann, one of my former shop teachers, if I could start a program in Graphic Art and that was the start of over 30 years of Graphic Arts students at the high school for me.  During that first year Steve Graver was one of my Graphic Arts students.  Tall boy with a great smile and glasses.  The class that year was all boys and had several in it that went on to the field of printing after graduation.  

Steve and his wife Pat.

I had over 100 students a year for 33 years, so it is easy to forget the names and faces of many of them.  But, Steve was one I remembered.  Very polite young man who had a keen interest in printing.  So, when I opened my email on April 2 I was anxious to learn more about my former student.  The following day I sent him a short email telling him I'm not sure I would recognize his face anymore, but I certainly remember the name.  Asked where he lived and told him my two sons were also in the printing trade.  Told him about my retirement and a few things about himself.  Wasn't long before the return email came telling me:  There is so much to share in 50 years time.  Then he hit me with the story of being my mom and dad's paperboy when I lived with them on North Queen Street.  

Steve and Pat with their family.

Don't remember seeing you much,  think you may have been in college at the time.  I think you had a pretty cool car.  He lived at 926 N. Prince St., a block from my house.  After graduating from M.T. in 1969 he got a job at Intel Printing Company and married his high school sweetheart Pat Gilroy.  Ten years later he moved his family to California where he ended up in Napa Valley printing wine labels.  

My wife Carol and son Derek who is holding our new
daughter Brynn in front of 925 Janet Ave.

He retired in 2103.  He raised a family of 7 children with his youngest son continuing in the printing industry, just as my son; who is working at LNP, formerly Intel Printing Company.  Steve sent me a photo of he and his wife.  Didn't recognize him; I remembered him with glasses.  Grabbed the 1959 yearbook and sure enough, Steve had glasses.  In another email he told me he had cataract surgery to correct his vision.  I also wore glasses since I was 12 and recently had cataract surgery and no longer wear glasses.  

Steve's wife Pat, the little girl on the far right,
 when she was young in front of 925 Janet Ave.

But, I wasn't prepared for what came next.  He told me that when his wife was young, her father moved his family to Lancaster when he got a job at nearby RCA.  They lived at 925 Janet Ave. a few years while waiting to have their house built.  As I read this part of Steve's story to my wife I looked at her...we were both in shock!  We lived at 925 Janet Ave. for 29 years.  We bought the house in 1968, a year after we were married.  Emailed that to Steve and his wife found photos of her family in front of 925 Janet Ave.  It brought back memories for both our families.  We plan to stay in touch and hope Steve and his wife of 50 years, Pat, can return to Lancaster for Steve's graduating class' 50th Reunion.  Going to have to get together and relive the past 50 years.  Too bad mom and dad aren't around to see if they would remember their paperboy from the mid-1950s.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.   

The "I Want To Be Like Leonardo" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Looking over the dozen or so stories I have saved which I began at one time or another and never finished.  Some of the stories are a few years old while one I began two weeks ago and abandoned.  

Leonardo da Vinci, self-portrait, 1512

But, as I read a recent story about Leonardo da Vinci, written by Tulane professor of history Walter Isaacson, I found I have some of the same qualities as him.  He had so many projects that he had started during his lifetime and never completed that they make him almost human.  Almost!  If only I could have accumulated some of the impressive projects he abandoned, I too would be a genius.  Maybe!  Of course, the things he did complete, such as the Mona Lisa, put him in a class that holds very few other human beings.  There are other people who were considered to be a genius, but they were a genius in a particular arena while Leonardo was a genius in many disciplines.  But, he was also very human and his life offers an abundance of lessons for all of us.  The following are a few bits of wisdom, as listed by Mr. Isaacson, that we can learn from Leonardo that may help us in our life as humble pions.

• Get distracted...it's OK to wander off on another tangent than what may have been you main intent, since it makes your mind richer in knowledge.
• Go down rabbit holes...in one of his many notebooks he recorded 730 findings about the flow of water and listed 67 words that describe different types of moving water.  Another notebook of his shows that he listed 169 attempts to square a circle.  He did these things for the pure joy of learning.
• Procrastinate...some of great intelligence and genius accomplish the most when they work the least.  While painting "The Last Supper" he would sometimes paint a stroke, put the brush down and return the next day to begin once more.  He liked to stop, gather all the facts and ideas and then return to his work.
• Make Lists...wow!  I have notebooks filled with lists of things I want to do someday. Now, Leonardo says to put odd things on your lists.  Leonardo's lists have been said to be the greatest testament to pure curiosity the world has ever seen.  Mine haven't been revealed...yet!
• Let the perfect be the enemy of the good...Leonardo abandoned a few of his paintings rather than produce work that was just average.
• Retain a childlike sense of  wonder...at a certain stage in our life we stop wondering about normal everyday things.  We look at the sky and no longer wonder why it is blue.  We should never outgrow our "wonder year" according to Leonardo. 
• Be open to mystery...on one of Leonardo's lists was found, "Describe the tongue of a woodpecker."  A woodpecker can extend his tongue three times the length of its bill.  When not in use it retreats back into the skull and wraps around the head and curves down to its nostrils.  Now there is absolutely no reason you need to know this, but now you do and are so the much better for it.
• Let your reach exceed your grasp...imagine, as he did, how you could divert a river or devise a perpetual-motion machine or square a circle using only a ruler and compass.  There are some problems we will never solve...but learn why.

Now, Mr. Isaacson listed quite a few more lessons that Leonardo found valuable, but I found the eight I just listed to be the most important to me and my quest to be a genius.  Maybe it will happen in my second lifetime. But, then again, it probably will never happen.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.   

The "If Only The Old Sycamore Could Talk!" Story

Preface:  I've lived my entire life in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.  As a youth I managed to travel to a few eastern States for vacation.  After marriage I traveled up and down the eastern coast of the United States.  After retirement from a career in education, I was lucky enough to have traveled to Europe, over two dozen Caribbean islands, a few locations in Central America as well as a few more U.S. states including Hawaii.  But, the longer I live, the more I realize I don't know as much about Lancaster County as I thought I did.  Simple 20-30 minute trips from home have proven interesting with learning experiences I didn't know or think possible.  Today and tomorrow are two of those experiences.

It was an ordinary day.  The fellow next to me with the camera looked at me and asked if I had seen the tree on TV today.  We talked a bit and then he said, "I've lived only five minutes away from here for over 20 years now and never knew about this tree."  I returned with, "I've lived only ten minutes away from here for over 70 years now and didn't know about it either."  Knew he couldn't top me with another comment, so he headed to his car.  

The old American Sycamore tree in front of the original farm-
house that stands on a property that was part of Penn's Woods

The tree in question is an American Sycamore tree located off of RT.30 to the west of Lancaster in the Old Sycamore Industrial Park.  The address where the tree is located is 265 Plane Tree Drive.  On the local NBC Sunday morning news I caught a story about the history of the tree and the fact that it was dedicated by AKA Worldwide on Arbor Day, April 27, 2018.  As you read this you more than likely assume the tree has just been planted, but in reality the tree is older than both you and I combined.  Add in my wife and the other guy that I just spoke to and the tree is still older.  

This photograph shows part of base of the tree
that still stands.  It is almost as tall as I am.

Actually the old American Sycamore was on this spot when the colony of Pennsylvania was know as "Penn's Woods" with the tree being situated on land that was part of a 1718 Penn Grant deeded by William Penn to the early settlers in the area.  In 1982 the Pennsylvania Forestry Association recognized it as over 300 years old.  Topping that is the fact that the Pennsylvania State Forestry Department in nearby Harrisburg estimated the tree to be over 250 years old in 1900.  That would make it over 365 years old.  Guess you could say it is older than dirt, but then that would be impossible.  The tree nearly met it's death in 1957 when lightning struck it and destroyed quite a bit of it.  

This shows a section where branches
ran from parts of the tree.

Even thought most of the tree is gone, two branches remain with each being as large as an unusually large sycamore tree.  The girth of the tree as it now stands is 7.62 meters (25 feet), but its height can't be determined due to not knowing how tall it was before the lightning struck.  A sawed off telephone pole holds one of the branches off the ground.  Next to the tree is an old farmhouse that dates to the mid-18th century which is younger than the tree.  As I stood next to the tree, I thought of how it must feel; part of it resting on a crutch, fewer leaves sprouting from its branches, older than most around it with aging lines dug deep in its skin. Wow, just like me!  This tree more than likely saw Native Americans hunting under its branches, wild animals scratching their butts against it and European settlers resting under its shady branches.  A true witness tree.  If only the old Sycamore could talk!  Oh, the tales it could tell.  I know just how you feel, old guy!!  And, to think I never knew it was here!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

This branch is held in place with part of a telephone pole.

Another view of this beautiful old tree which is still living.

  

The "Health Care At It's Best" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Driving past Franklin & Marshall College's new athletic stadium in the north-east section of Lancaster, Pennsylvania.  Directly next to it is what at one time was Lancaster's biggest employer, Armstrong Cork Company.  It later was known as Armstrong World Industries which was still one of Lancaster's biggest employers.  But, today that is no longer the case, since Lancaster General Hospital (Lancaster General Health) now employs more than double the next largest employer in Lancaster.  Lancaster General Health is a health system in Lancaster, Pennsylvania which was founded in 1893 in a home on

First home of Lancaster General Hospital.

Queen Street in the city.  The hospital now is a 590-bed facility located at 555 North Duke Street in Lancaster.  Lancaster General Health encompasses the main facility on North Duke Street as well as two smaller centers: The Woman & Babies Hospital at 690 Good Drive and the Lancaster Rehabilitation Hospital at 675 Good Drive.  And, Carol and I have made good use of the buildings.  We, at times, talk about moving to a warmer climate, or even an island in the Caribbean, but the medical care we get right here in Lancaster is remarkable and when you have reached the downside instead of the upside of your life, medical care is important.  Lancaster is a relatively small city of about seven square miles with under 70,000 residents.  It is within driving distance of New Jersey shore points as well as big cities such as Baltimore, Philadelphia and even New York.  

Lime Street site of Lancaster General Hospital.

Lancaster is one of our nation's most historical towns as I have talked about on this blog for years now.  And, medical care in the city is next to none.  Lancaster General is on the list of top 100 hospitals in the nation and is a magnet facility for nursing excellence.  U.S. News & World Report has named Lancaster's hospital as one of the best for heart surgery, orthopedics, urology, hormonal disorders and ear, nose & throat.  The only thing they lack as far as Carol and I are concerned is a white sand beach with turquoise waters.  Lancaster General began December of 1893 in a three-story brick residence at 322 N. Queen Street in downtown Lancaster.  Three years later they relocated to a nearby private mansion at 530-532 North Lime Street.  

The main entrance of the new location
at 528 North LIme Street.  

They celebrated their first hospital birth on January 9, 1897.  In 1903 they established a formal nurses' training school.  In 1912 the first Cesarean section was performed and the following year they added their first motorized ambulance.  Sounds rather mundane to list all these accomplishments, but Lancaster had no hospital at all before that.  Then in 1918 a flu epidemic hit and The Moose Hall on East King Street was converted to an emergency hospital.  On October 7th of that year 2,516 flu cases were reported in a single day.  Lancaster General began to expand and in 1929 undertook its last major expansion before WWII by adding a new maternity building, a new administration wing and acquisition of private homes for their nurses.   

Sample of private room when hospital first opened.

In 1935 President Roosevelt signed the Social Security Act into law and three years later the Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act was signed.  In 1938 the hospital got its first iron lung.  President Truman signed the National Mental Health Act of 1946 which provided funding for research and treatment of mental illness.  Computerized accounting and billing began the same year with technology finding its way into hospital business.  

After the war ended in 1946, 448 babies were born at the hospital.  Three years later that number had doubled.  

First ambulance at Lancaster General Hospital.

In the early 1950s the department of Physical Therapy was established and a new wing was dedicated with 156 new beds as well as a heart clinic.  In 1957 the polio unit was phased out after polio vaccine was licensed.  A new LGH School of Nursing was completed with student residence that can house 234 nurses.  In 1967 residential properties near the hospital were demolished for a new parking garage.  

One of first babies born at the hospital.

Ten years later the hospital had their first CAT scanner with an MRI scanner soon after.  1981 saw the first cardiac catheter- ization lab with Lancaster's first open heart surgery being performed two years later.  The Womans's Health Pavilion was established in 1986 and the following year the trauma center is named a regional trauma center.  All along, the hospital hired many new employees to help staff their growing hospital.  In 1994 the Suburban Outpatient Pavilion was finished and six years later the Woman & Babies Hospital opened.  

Iron lung that was at Lancaster General Hospital.

2002 saw the former nursing school become Lancaster General College of Nursing & Health Sciences.  The following year LGH opened an expanded Trauma and Emergency Department while a year later they opened an Orthopedic Center.  In 2007 the Lancaster Rehabilitation Hospital opened.  

This view shows the Duke Street entrance to the hospital.

In 2010 President Obama signed the Patient Protection Care Act saying that every citizen should have access to basic health care.  What has happened since then would take a book to finish my story.  As you see, Lancaster has many, many workers in the health care industry and that is why it is so hard for Carol and I to think of moving from our safety blanket of medical care.  We'll have to just plan on a few weeks at a time in the sun and stay put where we have some of the best health care in the world.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

Entrance as it was for years at the hospital.  This entrance has now been changed.

This is the Lime and Frederick Street side of the hospital.  Notice the helicopter pad on the roof of the hospital.

The Suburban Outpatient Pavilion.

Another view of the Outpatient Pavilion.

One of Lancaster General's newest additions, The Ann Barshinger Cancer Institute.  

The "The Future Of Medicine" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just grabbed the mail from my mailbox and distributed it between my wife and myself.  One of my pieces of mail today was The AARP Magazine.   For those who are youngsters or perhaps from a country other the the USA, AARP stands for American Association of Retired Persons and by joining you get a variety of services at reduced rates as well as a monthly newspaper and magazine.  

Latest AARP Magazine

As I leafed through the magazine I came upon an article titled "Is This the Future of Medicine?"  Pictured on the double-page layout was a doctor sitting in front of a series of TV screens, Facetiming with a patient.  Showed it to Carol and said, "This is exactly what we did a few weeks ago when I took you to the hospital and you were diagnosed with Transient Global Amnesia."  Needless to say, she had no idea what we did because that Tuesday, a few weeks ago, has been forever wiped from her memory by the medical condition that affects the mind.  I explained that while in the Emergency Room in nearby Lititz, Pennsylvania, we were able to talk with a medical specialist over 25 miles away who was sitting in a room at Hershey Medical Center which is part of Penn State Medicine.  We did this through a computer Application that allows us to see as well as talk with someone in another location through a television, computer or smart phone.  The young woman doctor, who was a specialist in neurology, told us what Carol had experienced and what to expect as a result of that experience.  As I stared at the TV screen it was as if she were in the next room rather than miles away from the ER we were in at the time.  As the title of the article that I was reading stated...is this the future of medicine?  The hospital did not have a neurologist on staff at the time of our arrival so after doing extensive testing on Carol, it was determined to call Hershey Medical Center, one of the best medical institutions in the USA, and ask for their help.  The young doctor told us that the mind is one part of the body that they still know very little about, but assured us that what she experienced will go away in 12 to 24 hours.  Knowing that we had one of the best physicians talk to us through Facetime helped relieve the anxiety that both of us had.  And now, as I read the article in the magazine, I can see the huge advantage that virtual care can give to both patient and family or friends.  

A small story within the magazine article was titled "The Patient's Perspective."  It listed five benefits of virtual care for those who have had a lifetime of in-office visits and might feel intimidated by modern technology.  The benefits include: (1) Convenience so you don't waste your time, (2) Managing chronic conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure and COPD can be monitored more easily, (3)  Treating urgent symptoms without having to sit in a waiting room filled with other sick people, (4) More efficient health care so your family doctor can have access to specialists and (5) First-class care anywhere which Carol and I really appreciated.  You may have read my story of having shingles while on vacation in St. Martin and going to a doctor who had no idea what it was until my wife suggested shingles and he looked it up on his computer to tell me I had shingles as well as my story telling about Carol being stricken with appendicitis while in Providenciales on the Turks & Caicos Islands.  She did receive good care, but perhaps being able to Facetime with a specialist in the USA may have changed how he performed his surgery.  I look forward to the future of medicine and how technology will help virtual care be a reality for us.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "Are You Older Than Dirt?: Part II - Losing Your Senses" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just put my hearing aides in my ears and reached for my glasses on their usual place on the bathroom counter.  Then I remembered that I don't wear glasses anymore.  It's one of my five senses that have improved with age and the help of a recent surgery.  Doesn't happen too many times in life that your senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell, become better rather than worse.  Seems that I have begun to notice a diminishing appetite which could be caused by my sense of smell.  

Taste buds on your tongue number approximately 9,000.

I guess I could blame my aging taste buds, of which I have approxi- mately 9,000, but it's probably my nose which is the real culprit.  When our bodies reach 40 to 50 years of age in women and 50 to 60 in men, our taste buds begin to diminish.  The taste sensation of salty and sweet begin to suffer first and then bitter and sour follow.  But, it is the change in the decrease of sensor cells in the nose that detect aromas that fuel the loss of taste.  The decline in nerves that carry the signals to the brain and the reduction of mucous that is produced that affects smell and taste are the culprits.  Food that I loved for years and years seems not as appetizing as it once was.  I used to love mashed potatoes with every meal, but find I don't care for them anymore.  Same goes for several vegetables I used to enjoy, but no longer care to eat.  I have found that items I never liked I now enjoy more such as lettuce.  But, my biggest problem is that I love sweets too much.  Now that hasn't been affected by age, since I always loved cookies, cakes, ice cream, donuts, etc.  Other things that can lead to a loss of appetite are dental issues, nasal polyps and neurologic diseases such as Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease.  I have tried to find an answer to my loss of appetite by reading and have found that smoking could be a big factor, but I don't smoke.  Certain medicines such as beta blockers and angiotensin-converting enzyme inhibitors can affect our senses.  I do have special meals my wife makes for me that certainly will not cause me to loose weight such as mac and cheese with spam and lots of tomato sauce on it as well as chicken pot pie which features large pieces of dough in it.  But, my biggest problem is what I already stated...sugar.  I could make dessert the main part of my meal every day.  Matter-of-fact I have done that numerous times in the past couple of years.  Cake or cookies dunked in hot chocolate or plain white milk is a great meal as well as apple dumplings with a thick dough and plenty of goo on it.  And then there is a big banana split or big bowl of pudding with whipped cream on it for supper.  But, you know...I have been eating all these desserts as a meal since I was a child and they never affected my appetite.  Thank goodness for that!  I guess I should be glad I don't have a big pouch to block my vision as I walk with my newly acquired eyesight.  At times I forget I'm getting older than dirt and I may suffer from some loss of senses in the process. But, at least I'm still here to tell you about it.  It was another extraordinay day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "Are You Smarter Than An Old Guy!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just got my first issue of Reader's Digest in the mail.  Over my lifetime I have had a variety of magazines based on my interests and hobbies during that particular time in history.  When I was a young boy I had a subscription to Boy's Life which is a magazine for Boy Scouts.  In high school I had a subscription to Sports Illustrated.  During my early married life I had a subscription to Baseball Digest as well as the obscure APBA Journal for which I contributed columns at times.  During a mid-life crisis I had a subscription to Vette as well as Corvette Magazine.  Actually wrote a story called "Me and My Vette" and had it published in Vette.  Then iPhones, iMacs and a MacBook Air entered my life and I subscribed to Wired Magazine.  Well, about a year or so ago I cancelled my subscription to Wired since I no longer could understand a single story in the magazine.  Naturally had to find something new, other than free retirement home journals that came in the mail on a weekly basis, so I subscribed to Reader's Digest.  I've actually enjoyed the magazine my entire life, reading the jokes and "Life In These United States" whenever I found a copy at a doctor's office or hospital waiting room.  Today the mail arrived and I sat down to peruse my new subscription.  After a few pages I realized I should have ordered the large print edition.  One of my favorite finds in the magazine came from the "Letters" section where I read about the parody of Mensa (the group of people with IQs of 140 or higher) called Densa.  It was hilarious!!  I just had to share it with you in case you may have missed it.  Take the test and see how you do.  You can't do much worse than I did.  You do need to thoroughly read the questions before giving an answer.  I only realized that after I was half-way through the test.  I'll tell you that I wasn't normal, but you have to figure out whether I was above or below the norm.  I just hope my future editions are as much fun to read as this one.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The Test for DENSA

Write down or remember your answers and DON'T CHEAT!!!!! Good luck!

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England? (Yes/No)
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days; some months have 30. How many have 28 days?
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? (Yes/No)
6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10, what is the answer?
7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half an hour. How many minutes will the pills last?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
13. A plane crashes on the Canadian - US border. In which country do you bury the survivors?
14. What is the least amount of coins it takes to make 55 cents if one of the coins is a quarter?

Your Evaluation

*Give yourself one point for each correct answer.

1. Is there a Fourth of July in England?
   • Yes, it comes after the third of July.
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
   • Just one. Mine is in September.
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
   • All twelve months have 28 days.
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
   • 6, three per side!
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
   • No - because he is dead!
6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
   • 70 (30 divided by 1/2 equals 60!)
7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
   • 2. You took them, remember?
8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills last?
   • 60 minutes. Start with the 1st pill, 30 minutes later take the 2nd, then 30 minutes after that take the 3rd. The effects of the pills may last longer than 60 minutes.
9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
   • 9, since all but 9 die.
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
    • None. It wasn't Moses on the ark. It was Noah.
11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
    • A clerk in a butcher shop weighs meat!
12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
    • There are 12 two cent stamps in a dozen, just like there are 12 of anything else in a dozen.
13. A plane crashes on the Canadian - US border. In which country you bury the survivors?
    • The survivors would probably rather wait until they die to be buried.
14. What is the least amount of coins it takes to make 55 cents if one of the coins is a quarter?
• Three coins. One is a quarter, another is a quarter, and there's also a nickel.

Add Your Score... How did you do?

Correct Answers: DENSA Rating

• 13-14: Genius
• 10-12: Above Normal
• 7-9: Normal
• 4-6: Slow
• 1-3: Idiot
• None: Brain dead

The "The 16 Minutes And 12 Seconds That Saved My Life" Story

Foreword:  I'm just like everyone else.  I hate to have certain medical tests done.  One of them is the dreaded colonoscopy. The test is done to see if you have any trace of colorectal cancer which can be life threatening.  You did read that correctly ... LIFE THREATENING!!  I recently had the test done for the third time in my life.  My story today will take you on my journey as I strive to be cancer free.  I tell my story in hope that you too will be inspired to have the test done before it is too late.  DON"T PUT IT OFF!

It was an ordinary day.  Ordinary in that I once again had a medical procedure scheduled to be done.  This time it was a colonoscopy that I had scheduled about three months ago.  I had my first colonoscopy done a little over 15 years ago and the doctor found two pre-cancerous polyps that he removed.  While talking with me after the procedure, the doctor said he wanted me to return in five years for a follow-up colonoscopy.  Five years later I had a second one done and it proved to be perfect and this time the doctor told me I should once again return in five years.  Well, five years stretched into ten years and then into twelve years.  I'm much like everyone else in that they hate the dreaded colonoscopy.  For the past two years my family doctor reminded ... no, warned me ... about returning for another colonoscopy, but I kept putting it off.  And then, for some strange reason I just had a funny feeling that I better have the test done before it was too late.  I placed a call to Dr. Rosenberg's office and made an appointment for the test.  Since I had my first test, the procedure has become much easier to prepare for than what it used to be.  

Bottle of Gatorade with instructions.

Used to have to drink large amounts of a terrible liquid to clear your intestines and bowel of any crap.  Now, I picked up a half-gallon container from my doctor's office which contained 120GM of orange powdered Gatorade.  I had to mix it with the small container I was given which had what is known as PEG 3350 in it and then fill the bottle to the top with water, shake well and place in the fridge to cool.  The night before my procedure I had to drink half the container in 8 ounce increments, every half-hour.  Really wasn't too bad since the mixture had a good flavor to it.  Wasn't long before I was visiting the bathroom to deposit the solution and what it washed out with it.  Since my procedure was the next morning, I had to get up at 5:00 am and drink the remainder of the bottle and hit the toilet once again.  Reported to the medical center, put the gown and booties on and talked with the doctor before the procedure.  I was given a light anesthesia and lights went out.  Awoke to a visit from my doctor who told me he had removed a very, very large polyp that he was going to have analyzed and he would be in touch with me in a few weeks and wanted me back in 6 months for another procedure.  

The polyp that was found during my colonoscopy.

I was given post-procedure items to do as well as a print-out of my innards and what the polyp looked like.  I studied the pictures and couldn't believe the size of the polyp and what my colon looked like after removal.  At the end of the series of photos the report said the total procedure took 16 minutes and 12 seconds.  

Same area after removable with a wire.

Remarkable that it was that short a time from start to finish.  A few days later I had a call from Dr. Rosenberg who told me the polyp had traces of cancer in it and he wanted to see me in a few weeks to check out the site to make sure he removed enough.  I told him I was going on vacation at the time he wanted me to return and I should come before or after the date.  He told me after vacation would be fine.  So, I worried my vacation away wondering what he would find.  Well that was back in October and today, a month and a half after I visited Dr. Rosenberg, I returned to have a Flexible Sigmoidoscopy done to check on the area where the polyp had been removed. I was anxious for most of the week before, wondering what he was going to find.  This test was not going to require anesthesia and I was able to eat food up until last evening.  I had to get up early this morning and give myself two enemas, an hour apart, to prepare for the test.  After arrival I was called back from the waiting room, changed into my gown and booties and wheeled into a small room for the test.  Doc asked if I wanted to see what he was going to do and I agreed.  The scope was inserted into the rectum with no problem at all.  There on the screen was my innards.  Wow!  He told me I might feel some discomfort since he had to use air to open the colon to see the interior.  I felt absolutely no pain or discomfort.  The test was amazing.  He used previous photos and measurements from my colonoscopy to search for the spot where he had removed the large polyp.  After close to ten minutes he said, "I can't find any trace at all of where the polyp used to be.  Everything looks perfect.  I want you back in three months to do this again and then if everything is the same as today, we'll go another year and do the colonoscopy again.  You're mighty lucky you didn't put off having that colonoscopy any longer than what you did."  I told him, "Something just told me I needed to get that done before it was too late.  Thanks for saving my life, doc."  "You did that yourself," he responded.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy. 

The "You're Nothing But A... A...Neukdari!" Story

Preface: Seems that since I wrote this story two days ago, more name calling and mudslinging has been exchanged between the leaders of North Korea and our nation.  North Korean foreign minister Ri Yong Ho has called our president "President Evil" and said he is someone who has turned the White House into a noisy marketplace full of crackling sounds."  That followed President Trump's promise to "totally destroy" North Korea if we are attacked.  The volley of insults between North Korea and Trump sounds as if I was back in elementary school once again.  The following story is anything but ordinary. 

It was an ordinary day.  Talking with my wife about our President and some of his childish rants and name calling he just can't keep himself from using.  It's as if he was still in elementary school and on the playground for recess and calling one of his classmates a bad name.  Well, seems the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un, must have gone to the same school and played on the same playground, since he also likes to spread garbage around as much as President Trump.  Being that I am a United States citizen, I am at times totally embarrassed by the childish name calling that goes on at the highest level of our government.  The guy who occupies the White House evidently has never grown up.  He loves to talk with his hands, make fun of others, act tough and spew garbage every time he talks.  It would be funny if it wasn't for the fact that he is saying these things to other leaders in the world who are just as childish as he.  

Donald Trump.  Age 71.

So, last week the President (you know how hard it is for me to type that word when referring to the guy) makes a speech in front of some of the most influential leaders in the world at the United Nations General Assembly and really gives it to Mr. Un.  Calls him "Rocket Man" on a "suicide mission".  Would be funny if it wasn't so scary, since the North Korean leader could be fast on the trigger with his nuclear bombs.  So Kim Jong Un turns around and calls Mr. Trump a mentally deranged U.S. dotard and vowed to "tame him" with fire.  

Kim Jong Un.  Age 33.

Wow!  A dotard.  I knew it must be something bad, but had never heard the word before.  So Trump turns around and threatens him with "fire and fury."  Sound like two kids on the playground to you?  Maybe both should have their mouths washed out with soap or made to sit in the corner with their faces to the wall.  Good punishment for two immature grade school adults.  So, I just had to find out what a dotard might be.  Seems that  a person in his or her dotage is a person in a "state or period of senile decay marked by decline of mental poise and alertness."  BINGO!!  Pronounced "dot-ard".  The word meant "imbecile" when it was first used in the 14th century and comes from the Middle English word "doten" which means "to dote" or to exhibit mental decline of or like that of old age.  BINGO!  Hasn't been used much here of late, but was used by Chaucer in "The Canterbury Tales" and by Shakespeare in "The Taming of the Shrew" and "King Lear".  The word was also used to insult President Andrew Jackson as well as Union Army Gen. George McClellan, but the word has recently fallen out of favor.  That was until Kim used it.  Dotard is actually a translation of the Korean word, 'neukdari,' which is a derogatory reference to an old person.  I guess you could say I'm old, but if you do so you would have to call Trump old also since I am only 2 years older than he.  So...what's next?  I guess as long as all they do is call each other names it can't hurt.  But, here's hoping it stops at that!  I guess I'd have to call them both a bunch of "crybabies."  Would I be a dotard also?  But, I don't want to be a dotard!!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy. 

The "Class Of 1962 Celebrates All Night Long ... Until 10:00 PM" Story

The HIgh School Yearbook on the left and tonight's program
on the left with tonights program shown on the right.

It was an ordinary day.  Our friends Jere and Sue arrived in Lancaster from State College, PA mid-afternoon in order to attend our 55 high school class reunion.  Jere, Sue and myself were all in the Manheim Township High School (MTHS) class of 1962.  My wife Carol is a few years younger than the three of us and graduated from another high school in Lancaster County.  Jere and I grew up together, living just a few blocks from each other on the north end of the city of Lancaster.  After graduation he entered the Navy and I entered Millersville State Teachers College.  Four years later I was teaching at my high school Alma mater while Jere was now a student at Millersville.  He too returned to teach at MTHS for a few years before beginning the job of Plant Manager for the entire school district.  We both retired in 1999 and along with our wives began to travel together.  Our high school class had about about 180 members when we graduated in 1962.  Tonight's class reunion will have about 35 of those members in attendance along with quite a few of our spouses.  

Appetizer table on the left at the Lancaster Tennis and Yacht Club.

The four of us arrived at the Lancaster Tennis and Yacht Club at 6:00 PM, just in time to get in line for check-in and appetizers.  After collecting a plate of appetizers the four of us found an empty table and sat to enjoy the Penn State vs. Pittsburgh football game on the big screen TV directly next to our table.  Wasn't long before another couple and a female classmate joined us.  Surprisingly, we all recognized each other after all these years.  I quietly said to Carol, "Why do all these people look so old?  We certainly don't look that old, do we?"  No comment on her part.  We talked amongst ourselves and then an announcement was made by the star football player in our class, Jody, that it was time to eat.  He ushered all of us, table by table, to the buffet line and after all were fed, he made a few announcements and then announced it was time for dessert.  

Rick, with the steering wheel, leads his Barbershop
Quartet in one of the many songs they sang for us.

More commotion with everyone enjoying desserts from Costco.  It was then time for entertain- ment.  One of our classmates, Rick, is a member of a Barbershop Quartet and they took the stage and performed for about 20 minutes.  Rick then made the announcement that one of the class in attendance was celebrating his birthday today and they would lead everyone in singing Happy Birthday.  Well, after the song ended, I felt it appropriate to stand and thank everyone for singing to me!   The rest of the evening was spent listening and dancing to oldies as well as making the rounds of the tables, meeting and talking with friends that most haven't seen since our last reunion five years prior.  One member of the class, Tom, traveled the furthest, arriving from California for the reunion.  About half in attendance traveled from a variety of States, with the other half being Lancaster County residents.  A few of us became teachers and returned to our Alma mater to teach.  Our table had Jere and myself as well as Pam who went to elementary, junior high and high school together as well as returning to teach in the high school.  

Class members dance the Electric Slide.  Many probably
had a rough time getting out of bed the next day.

Nancy made a visit to our table and reminded me that she too was a teacher and substituted for me from time to time.  We did talk of those who couldn't be in attendance due to other commitments or sickness.  And, naturally had to talk about all those who had died since we graduated together.  Norm was remembered for his service in the military and dying for his country.  We talked about Ted whose wife returned the reunion notice telling us that he has been ill for sometime and couldn't attend tonight.  In all we have lost about 30 class members.  The evening was a huge success and I for one enjoyed the chance to dance once again with my sweetheart who has been my wife for the past 50 years.  The only sad part of the weekend was opening the morning newspaper the following day and reading the obituary for our classmate Ted who had succumbed to brain cancer.  We all agreed that we should keep the date open for 2022 and another evening of trying to figure out who was who in the class of 1962.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

Four members of the reunion committee stand next to the appetizer table before the evening's festivities began.

The "Extraordinary Ages Of Ordinary People" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Reading about a woman by the name of Jeanne Calment who was born in 1875 in Arles, France.  Nothing special about that fact except as I read on I found she died in 1997.  Now if you care to figure that out for yourself you will find that she lived to be 122 years old.  She is the oldest person to have ever lived!  How much longer do you expect to live?  I realize that how many more years depends upon the age that you are today.  But, as I read on I found that my three grandchildren who are 12, 13 and 15 years of age at present have a 50-50 chance to live to be over 100 years old.  Also read that someone alive today will be the first person to reach the age of 150 years old!!  Could it be you?  If you are as old as I am that's not going to happen, but perhaps one of my grandchildren or someone who is a toddler may still be alive in 2150.  So, the younger generations need to begin to prepare to live to be over 100 or even 150.  My wife and I will celebrate our 50th Wedding Anniversary this month and I'm not so sure we'll make it to our 75th Anniversary, but that may be a common occurrence in the future.  Then again, maybe people won't get married until they are in their 50s and have children until they are in their 60s.  Hey, you heard it here for the first time I'll bet.  The current and future generations will have to begin to come up with a new mindset around aging and solutions to help them live longer.  What's going to happen when we have conquered cancer?  My wife recently told me about a pill that you take that will prevent uterine cancer.  If there had been a pill to take to prevent prostate cancer I certainly would have taken it and saved myself the worry and rehab from my recent bout with the disease.  And, will you have to work until you are 100 before you will be able to claim Medicare benefits and Social Security?  

In the United States today the fastest growing age group are those who are over 85 years of age.  And, the second fastest growing age group are those who are 100 and over.  Every day when I grab the morning paper I check out the obituaries to see if I recognize any names or photographs.  Then I check the ages of those who have died.  I know its rather morbid that I do that, but hey, I have to see whom to cross off my Christmas card list and I'm sure you'll do it to when you're 70 or older.  In another 20 years I'll bet people won't be checking out the obit page until they are 80 or more.  Now, there are three areas that need to be addressed before everyone will live to be 150.  First, they'll have to stop eating the same things they eat today.  The fast food is going to have to go as well as the soda and sweets.  Everyone is going to have to have a Fitbit that will shock them senseless if the so much as think about eating something with sugar in it.  And, clothes companies will no longer be making anything larger than extra-large size so you'll have to stop eating or wear a towel.  It won't be uncommon to work until you are 95 years old and you're going to have to do a better job of managing your money during your younger years (50-90).  And people are going to have to realize that living to be 150 isn't unusual.  Everyone will have to get rid of the outdated ideas about aging and create some new solutions to help the aging process.  Products that are made to last a lifetime will have to be made better.  A better way to grow food supplies will have to be devised since there will be less land on which to grow it since all the extra people will take up more space.  Can you imagine transportation in the future.  Many seniors today are beginning to lose their driving skills and these people will be what is considered middle-age in the near future.  Heavens, I'm getting more scared as I think of all the things that are going to have to be changed.  My poor grandchildren!!  I'm sitting here by my computer thinking what they may be sitting in front of 100 years from now.  I can't even imagine it!!  So ... good luck to all of you with the aging problem.  I''ll have checked out long before 2150!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.