The "Memories From Before 1970 That You May Remember" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Gathering old magazines and newspapers to be thrown out when I realized I had never read my latest AARP magazine.  As part of the membership fee to belong to AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) you receive a subscription to the magazine.  The 84-page magazine covers health issues, money issues, news and plenty of stories of and for older or senior Americans.  In return for joining AARP I also get discounts at quite a few stores as well as vacation destinations.  Many car rental agencies give a discount as well as pharmacies, airlines, hotels, insurance companies and  movie theaters to name a few.  Plus I get the magazine and monthly newspaper.  Is it worth it?  I'm not sure, but I do enjoy reading the publications and from time to time do get to use my card at restaurants.  I opened the cover and read an article on driving distractions, fitness devices, Hip-Hop History (which I didn't like), new fiction and non-fiction and an article titled "50 Things Over 50 We Still Love Every Day."  As I read the title I thought to myself...Wow that was in 1970 and I was already 26 years old by then.  I just can't be that old!  But...!  Story was only two pages long with lots of little photos, sketches and artwork of 50 things that began over 50 years or more ago.  And, I remembered every one of them.  How about you?  You may not be anywhere close to me in age, but do you remember the following:

1. Birkenstocks (1964) - snugly, so comfortable with over 25 million pairs sold each year.
2. 10-speed bicycle (1960) - started as a three-speed bike, but is now quite a few more than that.
3. UPS (1953) - Drones will eventually take over, but for now the brown truck still can be seen on the roads of America.
4.  Bikini (1946) - Can you believe that the bikini bathing suit was invented over 70 years ago.
5. Spandex (1959) - Stretches more than 500%!
6. Jeopardy (1964) - Nearly 10 million watch each evening and former student, Brad Rutter, is still the best...to me.
7. Skateboard (1959) - Skateboarding!  It will be an Olympic event in 2020. (Not for now, though)
8. Subway (1965 - the store) - They sell 5,300 subs a minute!
9. Gatorade (1965) - Led the way to the sports drink boom.  I was never a big fan, though.
10. Tupperware (1946) - The success was in the parties that were held.  We still use it.
11. Frozen Pizza (1957) - Did you just assume frozen pizza was around forever?  Almost 200 million people eat it each year.
12. Microwave (1945) - Beeped into homes in the 1960s and never left.
13. Big Mac (1968) - One of my favorite fast-food sandwiches.
14. M&Ms (1941) - Hard to believe they have been around for over 70 years and still taste the same.
15. American Express (1958) - The first boost to our love affair with debt.
16. Ford Mustang (1964) - My Aunt Doris and friend Jere both had a red one. It was the everyman and everywoman muscle car that is still neat.
17. AARP (1958) - 38 million members strong.
18. Ice Cooler (1953) - A landmark in cooling.
19. Harley-Davidson (1903) - Still made a few miles from my home in Lancaster, PA.
20. Mini-skirt (1960) - Just loved them, but they certainly weren't as short as they are today.
21. Clint Eastwood (1930) - Good, Bad, but never Ugly!
22. Color TV (1950) - My Aunt Doris also had a color TV and we would visit every Sunday to watch Bonanza.
23. Mr. Potato Head (1952) - Toy Story has ensured this favorite's longevity.
24. Electric drip coffee maker (1954) - But it wasn't until 1972 that Mr. Coffee made them special.
25. Chapstick (1880) - None of us were born when this was developed.
26. Kraft Mac & Cheese (1937) - Hard to believe I have been eating Mac & Cheese all my life.
27. Lego Toys (1949) - From Danish leg godt which means "play well".  I played with plastic bricks and Lincoln Logs, but never Legos.
28. The pill (1960) - There would never had been a sexual revolution without it.
29. Pop-Tarts (1964) - Named for Andy Warhol's pop art movement.  I have 3 boxes of them in my pantry.
30. Tie-dye (1960s) - I still have a few in my dresser drawer.
31. Ray-Bans (1952) - Tom Cruise and other stars helped bring back retro-cool Wayfarers.
32. Cheetos (1948) - The orange snack was a World War II invention that made your mouth orange.
33. Green Eggs and Ham (1960) - Beloved by boomers and their grandkids. 
34. To Kill A Mockingbird (1960) - We still buy a million copies a year.
35. Cheerios (1941) - Those oat rings remain the top selling cereal, but I never liked them.
36. Motown songs (1960s) - Temptations "My Girl and "I'm losing You" led the way to Detroit's longest-lasting vehicles.
37. Star Trek (1966) - That was 34 years ago and it is still going strong!
38. Spider-Man - (1962) - Big Man on the Web.
39. Chuck Taylor high-tops (1932) - Perennially cool.  Think James Dean, The Ramones and Madonna.
40. Sunscreen (1935) - Slather up and kill deadly rays.  If only my parents had known about it.
41. Handheld hair dryer (1920s) -  The wet head remains dead.
42. Hershey Kisses (1907) - A Valentine's Day mainstay.
43. The Beatles (1962) - Life without them would have been impossible!
44. Warren Buffett (1930) - A $10,000 investment in him in 1962 is worth $298 million now.
45. James Bond (1962) - Sean Connery was the real one and only!
46. Tony Bennett (1926) - No plans to retire at 93!
47. Smiley Face (1963) - Bet you use it most every day.
48. Cabbage Patch Doll (1978) - I stood in line one Christmas to get one for my daughter.
49. A Summer Place (1959) - The Hunter Family's experiences with Troy Donahue and Sandra Dee.
50. Corvette (1953) - I'll never forget my 1987 red coupe.

I'm sure you could probably add a few of your own depending on how long you've lived on this planet, but the 50 above were from the article in my latest AARP Magazine.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "Are You Smarter Than An Old Guy!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just got my first issue of Reader's Digest in the mail.  Over my lifetime I have had a variety of magazines based on my interests and hobbies during that particular time in history.  When I was a young boy I had a subscription to Boy's Life which is a magazine for Boy Scouts.  In high school I had a subscription to Sports Illustrated.  During my early married life I had a subscription to Baseball Digest as well as the obscure APBA Journal for which I contributed columns at times.  During a mid-life crisis I had a subscription to Vette as well as Corvette Magazine.  Actually wrote a story called "Me and My Vette" and had it published in Vette.  Then iPhones, iMacs and a MacBook Air entered my life and I subscribed to Wired Magazine.  Well, about a year or so ago I cancelled my subscription to Wired since I no longer could understand a single story in the magazine.  Naturally had to find something new, other than free retirement home journals that came in the mail on a weekly basis, so I subscribed to Reader's Digest.  I've actually enjoyed the magazine my entire life, reading the jokes and "Life In These United States" whenever I found a copy at a doctor's office or hospital waiting room.  Today the mail arrived and I sat down to peruse my new subscription.  After a few pages I realized I should have ordered the large print edition.  One of my favorite finds in the magazine came from the "Letters" section where I read about the parody of Mensa (the group of people with IQs of 140 or higher) called Densa.  It was hilarious!!  I just had to share it with you in case you may have missed it.  Take the test and see how you do.  You can't do much worse than I did.  You do need to thoroughly read the questions before giving an answer.  I only realized that after I was half-way through the test.  I'll tell you that I wasn't normal, but you have to figure out whether I was above or below the norm.  I just hope my future editions are as much fun to read as this one.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The Test for DENSA

Write down or remember your answers and DON'T CHEAT!!!!! Good luck!

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England? (Yes/No)
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days; some months have 30. How many have 28 days?
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? (Yes/No)
6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10, what is the answer?
7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half an hour. How many minutes will the pills last?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
13. A plane crashes on the Canadian - US border. In which country do you bury the survivors?
14. What is the least amount of coins it takes to make 55 cents if one of the coins is a quarter?

Your Evaluation

*Give yourself one point for each correct answer.

1. Is there a Fourth of July in England?
   • Yes, it comes after the third of July.
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
   • Just one. Mine is in September.
3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
   • All twelve months have 28 days.
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
   • 6, three per side!
5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
   • No - because he is dead!
6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
   • 70 (30 divided by 1/2 equals 60!)
7. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
   • 2. You took them, remember?
8. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills last?
   • 60 minutes. Start with the 1st pill, 30 minutes later take the 2nd, then 30 minutes after that take the 3rd. The effects of the pills may last longer than 60 minutes.
9. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
   • 9, since all but 9 die.
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
    • None. It wasn't Moses on the ark. It was Noah.
11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
    • A clerk in a butcher shop weighs meat!
12. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
    • There are 12 two cent stamps in a dozen, just like there are 12 of anything else in a dozen.
13. A plane crashes on the Canadian - US border. In which country you bury the survivors?
    • The survivors would probably rather wait until they die to be buried.
14. What is the least amount of coins it takes to make 55 cents if one of the coins is a quarter?
• Three coins. One is a quarter, another is a quarter, and there's also a nickel.

Add Your Score... How did you do?

Correct Answers: DENSA Rating

• 13-14: Genius
• 10-12: Above Normal
• 7-9: Normal
• 4-6: Slow
• 1-3: Idiot
• None: Brain dead