The "Why Your Body Does Strange Things!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Sitting with my fingers on the keyboard of my MacBook Air and reading the headline on a link that I found a day or two ago that tries to explains why we sneeze, have goosebumps, yawn,...there I did it again.  When I read or even type the word yawn...did it again.  I just can't seem to not yawn when I see or even type the word.  The story I was reading was titled, "Weird Things Your Body Does, Explained."  So, why did I yawn...  Well, when your body is running low on oxygen, a yawn is triggered to force a deep inhale and exhale.  This increases oxygen levels in the bloodstream, and the yawn itself raises your heartbeat to pump the oxygen-rich blood throughout the body.  

Does this guy make you want to yawn?  It does me!

But, that's not the only reason we yawn.  Instead of oxygen intake, researchers now believe that the primary function of yawning is regulating temperature.  The brain is the most energy-hungry organ in the body, using about 40% of your total metabolic energy.  All that work means that your brain tends to run hot and needs a way to cool down.  Therefore, the brain used yawning like a computer uses fans.  When the cold air is brought in through the mouth, the muscles in your jaw and around your skull contract and stretch, which increases blood circulation in the area.  The air cools the blood, and the increase in heart rate pumps the cooler blood to your brain. A cooler brain is a more alert brain.  If the surrounding air is cooler, yawning will be more effective.  You tend to yawn more in cooler temperatures.  Yawning can also be triggered by other events like anxiety, hunger or even a change of activity.  Any time your brain needs some extra focus, it may trigger a yawn.  But, for me...it seems like reading or typing the word triggers a yawn....there it goes again.  So what about sneezing.  The primary purpose of a sneeze is to remove irritants from the nasal passage.  Things such as dust, dirt, pollen or even smoke can trigger a sneeze.  Are you the type of person who when they sneeze, it comes in pairs or more.  Some people have a specific number of sneezes that they produce each time.  If you have to sneeze more that once, than your sneeze isn't as powerful as a single-sneezer's sneeze.  Is this making you yawn yet?  Actually sneezing is one way that we fight the spread of bacteria when we're sick.  The body's natural reaction to infection is to produce mucus in an effort to trap the bacteria.  Once trapped, it's time to get rid of it and the sneeze will occur.  Good way to distribute the bacteria to everyone close to you.  Another reason some people sneeze is when they look into a bright light.  This is called a photic sneeze reflex and it is an inherited genetic trait.  The theory is that certain stimulation of the optical nerve causes the same sensation in your brain as irritation in the nose, but the true cause still eludes researchers.  And finally, why do you blink.  Did you know that you blink on average about 12 ties per minute.  That's 10,000 per day and 4.2 million times a year.  It's a wonder that we don't wear out our eyelids with time!  The most obvious reason we bling is to lubricate our eyes.  Every time you blink, small "tears" are puled across the surface of your eyes to keep them lubricated and prevent the spread of bacteria.  Blinking also clears dust and particles that are continuously getting into your eyes.  Your eyes can close in 0.1 seconds after stimulus is detected.  Sometimes the stimulus is a bright light or even blowing sand which produces a corneal reflex that is designed to prevent as much debris as possible from entering and damaging the eye.  Well, that's enough information for one story.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "Roses Are Red...But So Are Barns" Story

The Red Barn...An Ionic Color!

It was an ordinary day.  Reading a few online stories when I came across one called, "The Reason Barns are Painted Red Goes all the way Back to the Cosmos."  Caught my eye immediately, especially since it was illustrated by quite a few photographs of red barns from all over the United States.  So, do you know why barns are painted red?  Someone actually did a study on the question and finally came up with an answer in 2013.  He wrote a story for Google and explained how a red barn was far more than just a building with a paint color on it.  The whole deal is actually a gateway to the workings of the cosmos.  Engineer Yonatan Zunger began his quest for an answer as a result of an episode of a long-forgotten sitcom titles "Head of the Class."  The TV show dates back to the late 1980s.  From the big hair to the clunky IBM terminals in the classroom, there's not doubt that the show was close to 40 years ago.  The show was about gifted students and during one particular show, it was asked why red barns are a commonplace sight.  The show says that red paint was cheaper.  And Mr. Zunger found that to be absolutely true.  But, is that the only reason why barns were painted red?  To make red paint, manufacturers need rust, or the iron-oxide compound red ochre.  

Red is good for anytime of the year.

They get it from the ground where a star had collapsed at one time or another.  The story I was reading said that dying stars become bogged down with heavy elements which cause them to die.  Stars are created when dust and gas clouds mix together in a galactic cocktail which is propelled by gravity.  Fusion happens which balances inward and outward pressure, holding the end result in the skies as a ball of light which we call a star.  When the star gets weighted down by iron, it can no longer take it, dies and explodes.  The material falls to earth and embeds itself at ground level.  A payload of red ochre means big bucks for paint producers who are profiting from dead stars.  And that's why red paint is cheap for barns.  But, what happens when the iron strikes buildings or heaven forbid, people?  In my search for more information, I came across a story in the Smithsonian Magazine that asked the same question...why are barns red.  They too said it had to do with the chemistry of dying stars.  They also told of the study that Mr. Zunger had done and that the simple compound known as red ochre - Fe2O3 - the compound of iron and oxygen that absorbs yellow, green and blue light and appears as red.  It's what makes red paint red and is cheap since it is plentiful.  So, if you are in need of a new color for your house, consider red since it evidently is much cheaper than most other colors. Now, I still need to find out why people aren't struck by these falling parts of a star.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "Pictures From My Town of Lancaster" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Opened a few of my folders and discovered a treasure of historic photos I have been collecting for quite some time.  Most have come from one of two sources; The Lancastrian Facebook Page and Remember When...In Lancaster Facebook Page.  Thought I would share them with you today.  Being that Lancaster, Pennsylvania, is my home town and is one of the oldest inland cities in the United States, some of the following go back quite a few years.  Hope you enjoy them.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

Logo for the Remember When In Lancaster Facebook page.  Click to enlarge photos.

Logo for the The Lancastrian Facebook page.

Lancaster's Fire truck many years ago.

Rocky Springs Amusement Park in the south end of the city.

The gang, The Paxton Boys, murdered Indians held in the Lancaster Prison in 1763

What set of photos from Lancaster wouldn't have an Amish photo?

A story in itself!

Remember the old time gas stations and the dinger hose you drove over
that rang the bell inside the garage to alert the owner that you needed gas.

Lancaster Fair Grounds, 1912.  The fairgrounds are now the Donnelly Printing Co. 

1966 protest against the Viet Nam War.

Hubley Toy Factory was about two blocks from my house as a child.
Always enjoyed looking at the toys in their display cabinet.

And who didn't take in a drive-in movie from time to time.
If you never did, you missed out on a great experience.
RCA Corp. was also located a mile from my home.

General Edward Hand lived in the southern end of Lancaster.

An aerial view of Rocky Springs Park.

This all started in 1839 when someone installed a bathtub in their house!

The "The Biggest Myths You Thought Were True!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Going through my junk email (I know...my wife warned be about doing this after the last scam I fell for) when I came upon a link to a story titled "10 Facts You Thought Were True But Aren't).  Should I click on it or not?  What could happen if I did?  Would it destroy my computer and send smoke into the air?  I clicked on it!  Waited a few seconds and when I didn't smell smoke, or even see any, I began to read the 20 facts that I thought were true, but aren't.  So...you ready for them? 

1. The truth about unsticking pasta.  Oil stops pasta from, sticking together...NOT TRUE.  Oil actually makes the pasta greasy.  The stirring prevents it from sticking.
2. The truth about Left and Right brain.  There is not solid division between the talents of both hemisphere and if one can learn better than the other.
3. The truth about the Three Wise Men.  Nowhere in the Bible does it state that there were three wise men.  Due to the fact that there were three gifts at the cradle on the birth of Jesus, people just assumed there were three wise men.
4. The truth about how dogs sweat.  Dogs sweat by salivating—nope, they regulate their body temperature through panting.  Dogs actually sweat via their footpads.
5. The truth about water rotation in toilets.  A flushed toilet does not rotate the opposite direction in the Southern Hemisphere and Northern Hemisphere.  The Coriolis effect doesn't alter water in toilets.
6. The truth about Albert Einstein.  Albert Einstein failed mathematics—this is not true.  He failed an entrance examination for a school but he excelled in mathematics.
7. The truth about vaccines and Autism.  Vaccines do not cause Autism.  Groundless fears based on manipulated results and fraudulent research has fueled this belief.
8. The truth about alcohol and brain cells.  Alcohol does not kill brain cells.  Even in alcoholics and very heavy drinkers, brain cells aren't killed, just damaged.
9. The truth about your tongue.  There aren't different parts of the tougue for each type of taste: sour, bitter, salty, sweet and savory or meaty.
10. The truth about a missing person report.  The police do not require 24 hours before you can report a missing person.  Once you believe the person is missing you can make the report.
11. The truth about only using 10% of your brain.  The proportion of the brain that is active at any one time is completely task dependent, however, ultimately every section of your brain is active practically every day.
12. The truth about sleepwalkers.  It is actually fine to wake sleepwalkers, they will be confused for sure, but they will be OK.  In fact it is better to wake them than allow them to possibly cause injury to themselves.
13. Milk does not increase mucus in anyway.  There is no need to avoid diary if you have a cold.
14. The Truth about bananas.  Bananas do not grow on trees, they grow on large herbs that just resemble trees.
15. The truth about bats.  As blind as a bat...Bats are not blind, not only can they see but they also use echolocation.
16. The truth about shaving.  Shaving does not thicken hair nor is it darker or coarser.  It simply appears that way because the hair grows back with a blunt tip.
17. The truth about chewing gum.  The chewy base of the gum is not digestible but passes straight through your digestive system, it does not take 7 years to digest.  The remainder is simply absorbed.
18. The truth about Adam And Eve.  Adam and Eve did not eat an apple.  They ate the forbidden "fruit", there is nowhere it Genesis that states the fruit was an apple.
19. The truth about the Egyptian Pyramids.  Slaves did not build the pyramids, this ancient construction job was considered a great honor granted only to the respected laborers, who remain entombed near the site today, according to the Egyptologists.
20. The truth about Ninjas.  Ninjas didn't wear black, the outfit came from years of fiction and folklore.  Actual ninjas wore anything that would help them blend into daily life.

Well, how'd you do.  Did you know the truth about everyone of the 20.  I certainly didn't.  #17 can't be correct, since it was close to 7 years ago that I was chewing a piece of Black Jack and swallowed it.  And, it was almost exactly 7 years to the day that it came out, still black.  Geez, I sure hope that was gum! Now I'm beginning to worry!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "Vacation Musings: Ocean City, New Jersey!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Downloading summer vacation photographs from both my iPhone and Nikon DSLR camera to the desktop of my MacBook Air.  Carol and I took a week-long vacation to Ocean City, New Jersey with our daughter Brynn and her family of hubby Dave and daughters Courtney and Camille.  For years we have been visiting Ocean City with our family, during the summer, but last year, with the grandkids getting older and trying to coordinate jobs and vacations, the summer passed before we had taken a vacation.  This year our son Derek and his family couldn't go to the shore until youth baseball season was over since he and grandson Caden were both involved, so daughter-in-law Barb also missed the trip.  Our son Tad had every intention of visiting a few days, but his work schedule changed and he wasn't able to visit.  Those that did make it had a great time with a vacation rental on Pennlyn Street on the north side of the town.  Happened to be located halfway between Brown's Donuts and Oves Donuts, so I loved the place.  One evening we traveled to Stone Harbor, NJ for supper at Mirabella's Italian Restaurant and a bit of shopping after supper.  We had plans for all of us to travel to Cape May, NJ for a day of shopping and lunch at the Lobster House, but ended up just being Carol, Brynn and myself.  The Ocean City beach was too enticing for the others.  As you are well aware, I cannot visit anywhere unless I take a thousand photographs or more, but this trip I managed to push the shutter release only a few hundred times.  Some of the results were used to illustrate a few stories you may have already read at the end of the summer, and the rest I have rummaged through and posted them at the end of this story.  Hope you find a few you enjoy.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

One evening we heard loud noises outside our rental.  Walked onto the street
and was serenaded to about 20 minutes of fireworks to the west of our rental.

I walked into the street where neighbors were gathering.  By the time the
fireworks were over, we all knew each other's names and where we lived.
Neat way to bring a neighborhood together, though it wasn't the idea
behind the fireworks.  Or was it!

While on the Ocean City Boardwalk I saw these two seagulls waiting for an
an unsuspecting person who had just purchased a piece of pizza or perhaps fries.

It amazes me how people just don't think the postings are for them!

One day I took my close-up lens for my iPhone with me to the beach.
The results are shown above and below.

Really neat what the simple, inexpensive snap-on lens can do.

While visiting Cape May, Brynn, Carol and I visited Cape Atlantic Book Co. which
is co-owned by our good friends Jere and Sue's son Tony and friend Patrick.  One of
the very few actual book stores on the shores of New Jersey.

Plenty of shelves and choices to make in the store.
The puzzles they have are also fantastic.

While in Cape May, Carol, Brynn and I had lunch at The Lobster House.  My wife's lunch
selection was salmon, vegetables and mashed potatoes on a wooden plank.

My favorite!  A one pound lobster-tail which was soooooo good!

Carol with granddaughters Camille (seated) and Courtney.

One day on the beach Carol and I were some of the last few visitors.
I tried to add a book to my Kindle and forgot I needed to
connect to the Internet. When I tried to connect, I found my choices were what you see
above.  Notice one was an FBI surveillance van.  I looked all over to try and see it without any success, but...

when I looked at my Kindle a minute or two later...it was gone.  Someone trying
to keep an eye on me?  Maybe its one of the Russians that constantly
log on to this site you are now reading.

The "Wearable Souvenirs" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Putting my t-shirts away after sorting them by island.  I have multiple t-shirts from quite a few islands that Carol and I have visited in the past twenty years, but the majority of them have been purchased on the island known as St. Martin/Sint Maarten.  The St. Martin side of the island is French while the Sint Maarten side is Dutch.  I have half-a-dozen shirts from each side of the island and a few have sayings or themes scene-printed on them.  

The top t-shirt came from "The Last
Mango In Paradise Store." It is slightly
faded since I wear it all the time.

Years ago one of our favorite stores on the Dutch side of the island was on Front Street in Philipsburg.  Place was called "The Last Mango In Paradise" and I bought some of the neatest t-shirts there.  One of my favorite t-shirts had the saying "Live, Love, Laugh, St. Martin" on it.   In front of the store stood a large plastic alligator that my wife posed in front of one time for a photo.  They also had a store at the airport, but then one year they closed their doors.  Another favorite place to buy my t-shirts was at the Marigot market.  Small stand is called Secret Spot and features designs by the owner that were then silk-screened on the island.  

A variety of designs from The Secret Spot t-shirt store.

I have at least half-a-dozen from that stand.  Even posted a story a few years ago about the stand.  Last year during our visit to St. Martin I purchased a t-shirt at a small store in Orient Village that had silk-screened on it: One Love, One Life, One Island, St. Martin FWI (FWI refers to French West Indies).  

Karine's new store at the Hope Estates Shopping Center.

Well, this year we noticed that the store was no longer in Orient Village, having been replaced by a new restaurant.  Then one day while shopping at the Hope Estates Shopping Center we once again found the "One Love" store.  It was much larger, carried more inventory but still had many items with the logo "One Love, One Life, One Island, St. Martin FWI.  As we walked in the store Carol immediately pointed out a pillow case that she just had to have.  It now sits on our sofa in the family room and is drawing many favorable comments.  

My t-shirt and Carol's throw pillow from Karine's store.

The owner of the shop is Karine Doumenjou who came to the island when she was 16 years old and heard the Bob Marley song "One Love" over and over again.  She used that slogan along with "One Life", since we only have one life to live and added "One Island" since she always came back to St. Martin.  Karine had always dreamed of selling clothes and having her own logo is a dream come true.  The new shop allows her to reach out to more tourists since it has a better location that is more visible.  The variety of goods she now has will definitely increase her sales.  Her long term goal is to open a concept store to work with local artists and aim for rather high-quality products.  I'm sure we will visit her store on our next visit and add something new to our collection.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "Odd Facts About Everything Under The Sun...And Sea" Story

It was an ordinary day.  "Surfing the Web," since that's about the only thing I can surf anymore, and found all types of odd and unusual facts; some interesting, some amazing and some just ridiculous.  Some sports facts, some medical facts, some animal facts and even a few facts about shrimp.  Follow along and I'll share a few with you that you can pass along to friends and co-workers to show just how well-educated you have become in the last few days.  So, here goes:

• There are over 2,000 different shrimp species from the tropics to the Antarctic Ocean.  Some of the most common found in the waters off the United States are the Gulf Brown Shrimp, Gulf Pink Shrimp and the Gulf White Shrimp.
• Shrimp come in all sizes from small size which are about 1/2" (from head to tail) to a larger variety that can grow to 12" or larger.  The Tiger shrimp, that is an invasive shrimp in the Gulf of Mexico, can grow to the size of an adult's forearm and has more tail meat that the average lobster.
• Shrimp can really motor in the ocean.  They can propel themselves backwards by flexing the muscles in their abdomen and tail as well as swim forward by using the appendages on the underside of their tail.
• Shrimp consume microscopic plant and animal matter by filtering the water around them.  Other varieties can eat small fish.
• Shrimp provide a source of food for not only humans, but crabs, fish, sea urchins, whales, dolphins and seabirds.  Other types of shrimp can clean parasites, bacteria and fungi off their host.
• Certain shrimp can make a noise louder that any other marine noise by hitting their large and small pincers together.  They make this noise to communicate and to stun their prey.
• Do you know that by making shrimp part of your diet, it may reduce your risk of developing cancer!  Seems shrimp contain selenium which is an antioxidant mineral that activates enzymes that fight the growth of cancer-causing free radicals.
• And, when you eat them, you might want to know that they are low in calories as well as high in protein.  
• In quite a few areas of the world shrimp are eaten with the head still on the body.  Supposedly the head has a rich flavor and a crunchy texture that some people love.  I'm not one of those people.

And, a few neat animal facts that you might not have known before are:

• An iguana can stay under water for almost a half-hour if it needs to do so.
• Penguins can jump over six feet into the air.
• ALL Polar bears are left-handed.
• The leg bones of a bat are so thin they can't walk.
• A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
• When an opossum is thought to be "playing dead", they aren't playing.  They actually pass out from sheer fear.
• You can lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.  
• Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
• A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
• A pig cannot physically look up into the sky.
• A snail can sleep for three years.
• A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a four foot tall child inside.
• Some dogs can predict when a child will have an epileptic seizure and even protect the child from injury.  They're not trained to do this, they simply learn to respond after observing at least one attack.
• Only female mosquitoes bite.

Next are a few unusual sports facts:

• Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his baseball cap to keep his head cool.  He changed the leaf every two innings.
• The average lifespan of a major league baseball is 7 pitches.
• Retired professional basketball player Michael Jordan makes more money from endorsements a year from Nike that all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. 
• Every year 56,000,000 people attend major league baseball games.
• There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
• Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
• The Olympic flag rings are red, black, blue, green and yellow since at least of of these colors appears on the flag of every nation on the planet.
• In 1963 major league baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry said, "They'll put a man on the moon before I hit a home run."  On July 20, 1969, an hour after Neil Armstrong set foot on the surface of the moon, Gaylord hit his first, and only, home run while playing for the San Francisco Giants.

And, finally some odd facts about the human body are:

• It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
• A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.
• Women blink twice as often as men.
• The longest bout of hiccups lasted nearly 69 years.
• Babies are born without kneecaps.  They appear between the ages of 2 and 6.
• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stops growing.
• The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
• If you sneeze too hard you can fracture a rib.  If you try to suppress a sneeze you can rupture a blood vessel in you head or neck and die.  If you keep your eyes open by force they can pop out.
• Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow!  

So, did you learn a thing or two or three?  And, did you really try to lick your elbow?  I can't do it!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "All That's Needed Is A Bit Of Magic And Pow-Wow To Heal The Afflicted" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just like many other days in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania which is thought to be home to what is known as the "Pennsylvania Dutch" which is a cultural group formed by early German-speaking immigrants to Pennsylvania and their descendants.  Most emigrated to North America from Germany or Switzerland in the 17th and 18th century.  These people maintained numerous religious affiliations with the greatest number being Lutheran or German Reformed, but also with many Anabaptists, including Mennonites, Amish and Hutterites.  Among the old time traditions of the Pennsylvania Dutch people were their 18th century broadside amulets that were handed down from Colonial times and were said to bring good luck to devout Christian families who lived in southeastern Pennsylvania.  These amulets were known as Himmelsbriefs (Letters from God) and were letters about seven by nine inches which they would tuck in their Bibles for good luck.  

Another tradition was practicing white magic, known in their dialect as Braucherei or "powwowing" which makes use of magical charms to heal the ailments of humans and animals.  This tradition was brought by immigrants from the Rhineland and Switzerland in the 17th and 18th centuries.  Powwow blends aspects of religion with healing charms and includes a wide range of healing rituals used primarily for treating ailments in humans and livestock.  The Bible is considered the most important book of the powwow and no practitioner would work without his Bible nearby.  In addition, several textbooks were used to practice powwow.  One such Pennsylvania Dutch healer, John George Hohman, compiled and published his book of cures in 1820.  It was titled Pow-Wows or, Long Lost Friend" and was first published in German in nearby Reading, Pennsylvania.  In the book were alleged cures for many medical problems and diseases.  

Another book of pow-wow healing methods.

One such cure for the headache was: Tame thou flesh and bone like Christ in Paradise; and you will assist thee, this I tell thee for your repentance sake.  You had to say that three times, each time lasting three minutes, and your headache would soon cease.  To remove bruises and pains you said: Bruise, thou shall not heat, Bruise, thou shalt not sweat; Bruise, thou shall not run, No more than Virgin Mary shall bring forth another son.  Pain should be gone soon after saying that.  In Mr. Hohman's Pow-Wow book were many testimonials to tell you of others that were healed through the book.  Benjamin Stoudy, the son of a Lutheran schoolmaster from nearby Reading suffered from a wheal in the eye (small burning or itching swelling on the skin) in 1814.  Hohman, with the help of God, in a little more than 24 hours, had the eye sound again.  Another resident of Reading, Henry Jorges, brought his son to Hohman suffering from extreme pain from a wheal in the eye and after 24 hours, with the help of God, had him healed.  Anna Snyder of Alsace Township had a severe pain in one of her fingers which was healed in a little more than twenty-four hours.  John Bingemann from Berks County had a boy who burnt himself dreadfully so Mr. Hohman's wife went to that place in the fall of 1812.  Mortification (great embarrassment and shame) had already set in, so she had great sympathy for him and in a short time the mortification was banished.  

This sub-head says "A 19th Century American
Grimoire" which is a book of magic spells and
invocations, also by John George Hohman.

Hey, there's no way I could have made any of this stuff up you know.  It is all in his book!  The list of people who tell of being healed goes on and on.  How does the guy do it?  He goes on to say that if any of those people try to call him a liar and deny being cured by him or his wife, he shall compel them to repeat their confession before a Justice of the Peace.  He went on to tell of a Mr. Allgaier of Reading who had a very sore finger so he used sympathy to banish the wild-fire and to cure the finger.  Mr. John George Hohman goes on to say that his book is partly derived from a work published by a Gypsy, and partly from secret writings, and collected with much pain and trouble, from all parts of the world, at different periods in time.  He really didn't want to publish it and his wife was opposed to its publication, but his compassion for his suffering fellow-man was too strong, for he had seen many a one lose his entire sight by a wheal, and his life or limb by mortification.  And, how dreadfully has many a woman suffered from mother-fits?  And he therefore asks thee again, oh friend, male or female, is it not to my everlasting praise, that He had such books printed.  Naturally he charged for the book.  He did ask for the Lord to bless the beginning and the end of his work, and be with he and his wife, that they may not misuse it, and thus commit a heavy sin!.  There you have it folks.  Pow-wow as a healing medical tradition as used by the Pennsylvania Dutch.  I think I'll stick with my medical doctors!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.  
   

The "Confessions Of A Latent Writer" Story

It was an ordinary day.  8:36 am.  Overcast.  I'm standing along Market Alley talking with some guy wearing a trench coat that's two sizes to big for him.  Has his left hand in his coat pocket, moving something around when he tells me to be careful what I say cause somebody is watching us from the window above.  Asked me my name and I tell him my friends call me LDub.  "You know ... like the letter "L" with a "Dub" after it.  Got my hush-puppies on and I never was meant for glitter rock and roll."  His voice is gravelly when he says, "They call me when they need me ... and I'm gonna head inside the market house.  Give me two and a half minutes and you follow me in.  I'll be standing in line at the first stand inside waiting to buy a long john.  Peanut butter.  That's my favorite.  Don't say a word to a soul and head to the upper tier and wait."  Or, do you like this better ...  It was an ordinary day. The silence is deafening. Then another bullet explodes, sending shock waves through the misty morning air behind the market house.  See a guy running east along Market Street with his hand in his trench coat pocket.  I knew something was fishy when I saw him stop at the trash receptacle and throw a wrapper from a peanut butter long john into it.  OK, which one of these two openings should I use for the start of my first novel?  Haven't decided what to call it yet, but I knew I had to start somewhere and I figured I could write a mystery novel about the back streets of downtown Lancaster, since I've been acquainted with the area most of my life and someone told me years ago that you should write what is most familiar to you.  Lady by the name of Mrs. Eisenhart;  Mrs. Clair Eisenhart.  Bless her soul!  Was my 10th grade English teacher.  "Write something that will make the words flow from your head onto the paper," she used to say to me.  Miss that old lady who at one time scolded me for using the word "ain't" in a sentence, since "that isn't even a word," she said.  "So, today we headed" ... now that's something else she said never to use to start a sentence; you know ... the word "so".  And, by the way, do you leave a space after the word before you use ..., or do you place the ... directly after the word?  You have perhaps been reading my stories for the past eight years now and may have wondered what type of writing style I've been using.  Betcha can't figure it out yet, since I'm not sure I have a particular writing style.  As I may have told you before I barely passed English in college; actually barely passed English in high school, something Mrs. Eisenhart would testify to if she were still alive.  Bless her soul!  English is still something I'm not real good at.   Ah, there I go again using a preposition to end a sentence.  The other day I picked up a copy of "The Fishwrapper," which is a semi-religious pamphlet, at our local Stauffers of Kissel Hill Supermarket.  Right there on page 4 was what I've been searching for all my writing life.  Something called "Important Rules of Writing."  23 rules to make your writing better it said.  So, from now on I plan to use these rules.  I'm sure Mrs. Eisenhart would approve.  Bless her soul!  Hope you will have an easier time reading what I write from now on.  Just so you know ... here are the rules that will from now on be my writing "Bible."  Did you ever notice sometimes I place the "." before the " " " while other times I place the "." after the " " "  Not sure which is the correct way, but no one ever seemed to mind.  Without further adieu, here are the rules ...

• Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
• Just between you and I case is important.
• Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
• Watch out for irregular verbs which have crept into our language.
• Don't use no double negatives.
• A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
• When dangling, don't use participles.
• Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
• Don't write a run-on sentence you have to punctuate it.
• About sentence fragments.
• In a letter themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.
• Don't use commas, which aren't necessary. (now, I have a tough time with this one)
• Its very important that you use apostrophe's right.
• Don't abbrev.
• Check to see if you have any words out.
• As far as incomplete constructions, they are wrong.
• Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
• The active voice is preferred.
• Use of the passive voice is to be avoided.
• Eschew obfuscation.
• It is important to never ever under any circumstances split an infinitive.
• Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
• Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.

OK, ready for the new me?  See what you think tomorrow ... and hey, which one of the two starts for my new novel do you like anyway?  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

The "A Couple Of Short Tails Or Reading Between The Lions" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Have been checking my Facebook page.  Actually it is my wife's Facebook page, but she didn't want to post a photo of herself so she posted my photograph so people now assume it is my Facebook page.  Anyway, I found a rather humorous short story (I guess you could call it a joke if you want) that I thought you would enjoy as well as a rather unique musical tale that I know many of you will enjoy.  So, (don't you hate when people begin every sentence with "So" while speaking) without further adieu, I present my agenda for the day.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

1. A public school teacher was arrested at John F. Kennedy International Airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.  At a press conference just before noon today, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.  Although he did not identify the man, he confirmed the man has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.  "Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said.  "They derive solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.  They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.  As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.'"  The Attorney General went on to say. "Teaching our children sentient thought processes and equipping them to solve problems is dangerous and puts our government at risk."  
2. Home Free is a musical group originally founded by brothers Chris and Adam Rupp while they were in college during the early 2000s.  They soon gathered three more members and began touring the country and performing for crowds of thousands of eager fans!  Their fame hit an all-time high when they were invited on the hit show "The Sing-Off" and won.  Perhaps you heard them on the show.  Now the skilled men showcase their talents by performing iconic tunes like "Angels We Have Heard On High."  Their voices, paired with the beautiful scenery and acoustics of the church make for a video that will stand the test of time!  What a beautiful rendition of this treasured Christmas carol!  I know ... it's not the season for Christmas music, but so what.  In the video this talented a cappella group enters a beautiful church and begins singing "Angels We Have Heard On High" with such harmony and grace that it covered me in goosebumps.  Loved their harmony and had to listen to the video a few times.  See what you think.  Almost makes you wish that Christmas was right around the corner.

The "A Visit to The Green Dragon" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Spent the past hour or so visiting the Bollman Hat Company in Adamstown, Pennsylvania with my brother Steve.  Had an interesting tour, but what happened afterward was just as interesting.  Told Steve a few months ago about my visit to Bollman and he asked if he could go along.  

Sign on PA Route 272 telling of the Green Dragon.

He said, "After we stop at the hat place how about we have lunch at the Green Dragon."  Hadn't been to the Green Dragon for years so I thought it would be a great idea to spend some extra time with my brother.  Steve is a frequent visitor to the Green Dragon which is about a ten minute drive from Adamstown in Ephrata, PA.  Green Dragon Farmer's Market and Auction is open year round on Fridays, 9 am to 9 pm.  

Aerial view of the grounds of the Green Dragon.

The atmosphere is similar to that of a carnival and state fair all rolled into one.  The Green Dragon is part flea market, part souvenir haven, part food market and part auction house with over 400 vendors located on 30 acres in Pennsylvania Dutch Country.  Green Dragon is one of the largest Amish-run and regulated farmers markets in the United States.  You will be sharing the 20 acre parking lot with Amish buggies and will find many of the stands are Amish-run.  

Amish buggy parking lot.

Our journey to the Green Dragon today is to visit the auction house as well as take advantage of the multitude of eating places.  We first stopped at the auction house where Steve spends many a Friday, buying boxes of items that he re-sells on eBay.  Funny how people from all over the world love to buy items from Amish Country.  Steve walked the perimeter of the indoor auction, looking to see if he might want to come back when the auction begins.  

Items for sale at the auction the
day or our visit.

Found a few boxes that had baseball cards and other collectibles in them, but didn't seem to be too interested.  Left that auction house and entered the small animal auction house to see what animals were to be auctioned today.  A few crates of rabbits, guinea pigs, homing pigeons as well as a few boxes that had fantail pigeons in them.  Then the whiff of the food finally got to us.  Wound our way past the chocolate-covered bacon, apple dumplings, whoopie pies, cream-filled donuts and long johns, sticky buns and home-made pot pie to Steve's favorite stand that sells sandwiches with just about anything in them.  He ordered a turkey sub and I had an double oyster sandwich.  Naturally had to get some fries and a drink to go along with the sandwiches.  

Firemen work to control the fire at the Green Dragon.

Found a place to sit and eat and Steve told me a few more facts about the place.  The Green Dragon opened in 1932 and has 20,000 to 25,000 people visit every Friday of the year, unless Christmas falls on a Friday.  There have been very few times it ever had to close, but on Saturday, September 13, 2014 at 8:20 pm, a devastating fire leveled the main building which left the market unable to operate.  Within a week the Green Dragon reopened, with the main building staying closed until it could be rebuilt.  

Some of the many outdoor stands.

Those vendors who lost their spot in the main building found space elsewhere on site.  As we ate lunch Steve told me he would like to have a stand in the near future.  I asked him what he plans to sell and he said he might like to sell stained glass pieces.  It was at that time he told me I was going to make stained glass pieces for him and he also wanted me to show him how to make stained glass pieces.  Well, if you have been reading my stories, you probably read the one about my getting back into teaching once again.  Can't wait to see how well they sell.  May have to begin to make stained glass pieces once again.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy. 

Produce primarily grown in Lancaster County.

You can purchase just about any item you may need or want.

Pigeons for auction the day Steve and I visited.

Rows of vendors line many acres of the Green Dragon.

Another vendor selling stones and gems.

An outdoor hay auction was taking place.

Made a stop here before trying to find the car.

Old Black and White showing the entrance into the Livestock Auction.