The "Hardluck" Story

It was an ordinary day. Carol and I were on vacation in Antigua with our friends Jerry and Just Sue. It was a beach day. Gorgeous!! Water was 85 degrees, sand was powder white and the air temperature was 89 degrees. Slight wind caused the palm trees to sway and cast moving shadows on the beach. In the water Carol and I went to cool off. Just Sue decided she would join us. I turned toward the beach in time to see Jerry dive into the water after us. I think he had his prescription sun glasses on when he dove in. When he surfaced he looked slightly different. No glasses! "Where are your glasses?" I asked him. He felt his face and had a horrified look to him. This was not the first time he had dived in the water with his glasses on, but it was the first time ever that he did not have them on when he surfaced. Now what??? The water was slightly cloudy today from a storm during the night so the visibility was poor. After about 15 minutes of scrapping my feet over the bottom I located them for him. Relief on his part. A short time later he has more news for us. "I don't have my wedding ring on my finger!" His marriage of close to 50 years is over. NOT! He has lost his ring in the ocean. This will be a little harder to locate, won't it? Yep! We searched and searched, but no luck with this one. A sad day for our friends. Well, a nap might help. Usually does on vacation. Jerry is sleeping with his newly found sunglasses on when a BIG fellow runs out of the water and starts yelling at him. "Stop staring at my wife, do you hear me?" he yells. Poor Jerry is now awake and realizes that someone is talking to him. It seems his head was pointed at the guy's wife as he allegedly slept. He does the wise thing and stays quiet. Not a real fun day on the beach for him today. That evening we head to supper and find out they have a dress code in the dining room. This is an English island and they like to dress up for supper. I was lucky because my shorts came below my knee, but Jerry's didn't. The Maitre d', in a loud voice, told him not to let that happen again. He can hardly wait to get to sleep tonight. Next day we travel to the capital, St. Johns for some shopping. Jerry heads straight for the first jewelry store? Now his hand has that golden glow around the ring finger. Well, the rest of vacation is uneventful for Jerry until we reach security at the airport for our return trip from Miami to Philadelphia. As we approach the X-ray units we read about the new imaging unit that they have installed. It can see if you have anything under your clothes. Shows a sample of a person taken with the new unit and you can clearly see that it is a male. WOW!! I remember when I was a kid I ordered a pair of glasses from a comic book that were supposed to see through people's clothes. Didn't work. But, this machine really did. As you might guess, Jerry set off the alarm and they shoved him into this unit and to take his picture. Knowing that someone close by was looking at him naked on a TV screen started to freak him out. After finding nothing on his person they released him. As we start towards our concourse he realizes he forgot his backpack. Now he has to return. Can't be good. He asks for his backpack and they ask him what color is it. He points to the one on the shelf behind them and says, "the blue one behind you." Well, now they really are suspicious, because the one he is pointing to is green. You see, Jerry is also color-blind!!! It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.