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Sunday, May 10, 2015

The "Handshake" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Walked into the high school where I used to teach and where I still work part-time.  As I entered the security door I saw a familiar face that I hadn't seen for a couple of years.  Mike used to be the high school football coach and physical education teacher and while a coach had me print his football programs for him.  He still is a member of the staff as a teacher, but gave up coaching a few 
  years ago.  When he saw me he stopped, walked over to greet me and offered his hand to me.  The handshake was firm and welcoming and we enjoyed a few minutes together before he had to head to a meeting.  Thought about the way that people greet one another and the handshakes they offer during that greeting.  On many of the Caribbean islands I have visited I greet the females with a kiss on either cheek, as is the custom, but the men I just shake their hand.  And, I also have found that if you aren't fairly well acquainted with a female, it is not improper to offer your hand to her for a handshake instead of the kiss.   But, the firmness of the handshake seems to be quite different with some people.  You do have to be careful that you don't overdo it when shaking the hand of a woman, but if you offer too weak a handshake it will signal an unfavorable impression.  A firm handshake, such as the one Mike and I exchanged, makes a good impression and shows sincerity in the greeting.  Many people make judgements about a person based on the firmness of their handshake.  A limp, lifeless handshake tends to communicate being timid or impersonal to the receiver of the handshake, but when shaking the hand of an older person you have to be careful that you don't inflict pain or break any bones with a firm handshake.  And, I think those that grab your hand and pump away are over-doing it a bit.  I've read that those offering a weak or limp handshake are thought to be more prone to anxiety and display more shyness while a firm handshake tends to illustrate openness and outgoing.  When you squeeze the hand too firmly it shows that you may be pushy or aggressive.  I can't imagine what it must be like to be someone who is extremely well-known or famous.  Their hand must be constantly sore from shaking hands.  In that case maybe the fist-bump would be a better alternative.  And, I'm sure there is a proper way to do that, but that would be another story.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.

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