The "You Expect Me To Eat That!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Carol and I are heading to the local Giant Supermarket to do the weekly grocery shopping.  I always look for a parking space across from or very close to the cart return so when we are finishing loading our groceries into the car it will be easy to return the cart.  Cold winter day with the high expected to reach the low 20s.  I grab a cart as we enter the store, making sure it doesn't have one of those plastic thingamajiggers on it that you use to place the unit to keep track of your purchases.  I can keep track just fine in my head and the thingamajigger always get in my way.  I usually put the shopping list and coupons in my pocket when we leave home, so I pull them out and pass them to my wife.  In case I forgot to put them in my pocket, I just tell her, "I thought you said you would get them."  Never works, but I still keep on trying.  Now for the important part of my story...how to shop without poisoning yourself or at least really making yourself sick.  

Make sure the fruit isn't bruised and nicked.

The produce section can be a killer.  If you see fruit flies as you examine the fresh fruit, pass by and forget it.  Usually means the food is leaking and breaking down, wilting or moldy.  If you need a plastic bag to place your produce in make sure that the person in front of you hasn't licked their fingers before reaching for their bag to pry open an off-the-roll plastic bag and then begin to pick through the produce.  Their germs will be all over each piece of fruit they touch and not place into their bag.  Make sure that cut fruit that is packaged is kept on ice or refrigerated to shield it from bacteria.  If you notice nicks or bruises on the skin of fruit, remember that bacteria can enter the fruit much easier through a nick or bruise.  Organic fruits and veggies aren't exempt from all these warnings because pathogens don't care how or where the fruit and vegetables are grown.  

The deli counter attendant should be wearing gloves.

Now, did I scare you enough that you'll bypass the produce section?  We head to the deli section next where you should check out the attendant to make sure they put on gloves before helping you and don't wipe those gloves on their dirty apron before reaching for your cheese or lunch meat.  The next thing I have to tell you may be tough to find out, but food slicers are supposed to be cleaned every four hours.  Also best if they cut meat on one and cheese on another to reduce cross-contamination risks.  When you buy store sliced meat it is much easier for deadly Listeria bacteria to get on your meat.  Better to buy it already pre-packaged, but I hate to buy it that way.  As we leave the counter we usually pass someone handing out free samples.  

Once again, make sure they wear gloves.

Make sure they have gloves on their hands and if you see another customer take a sample and put it back, keep on going.  We usually hit the meat section last to make sure that cold items say cold until we get home.  Make sure that all refrigerated units are 40 degrees or colder.  How can you tell?  Just take the thermometer out of you pocket to check.   What?  You didn't bring a thermometer?  Geez ... I thought everyone did that.  If you see plastic bags along the meat counter so that you can place each item in a separate bag you know the store values sanitary conditions.  In our meat department there are many open air refrigerated units which is OK as long as they don't overload the case and block airflow.  Fresh fish should always be on ice or refrigerated.  I don't know if I ever saw it any other way.  If the fish did have a mild smell of ammonia, pass on it since it has begun to decay.  My last bit of information deals with my favorite spot in the store, the salad bar.  Since we usually shop late morning, we tend to take home a salad for lunch.  

All containers should have their own utensil.

If you see an attendant bringing out fresh greens or other supplies for the salad bar, make sure they are wearing gloves and make sure they don't dump the new supplies on top of the old.  Stuff on the bottom will most certainly go bad doing it that way and if the salad greens are wilted, their refrigeration unit probably isn't working very well.  Also should be separate spoons or utensils in every bowl.  And, my final warning is not to eat the sprouts since they are grown in a warm, moist environment and may be spoiled by the time you get them on the salad bar.  Well, time to check out.  I love to bag the groceries.  Makes me feel like I am back in my teen years once again and bagging groceries at the Acme Supermarket where I worked for a few years.  And, there really is a science to it you know.  I'll have to make a video of it some time to show you. Grocery shopping is very tough and by now I'm exhausted.  How about you?  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.