The "Obituary For Mr. Common Sense

It was an ordinary day.  Reading the obituary for a fellow known as Common Sense.  Went like this.....

Today, we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense.  Common Sense lived a long life, but on the brink of the new millennium, died in the United States from heart failure.  No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.  He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, and factories, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rule, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.  He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and That life is not always fair.  Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn); reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the children); and that it is acceptable to come in second.  A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived many cultural and educational trends.  But, his health declined when he became infected with the if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it virus.  In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well-intentioned but overbearing regulations.  He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.  His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies.  Report about a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.  Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live when the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.  When a woman who failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, and was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.   At the end, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic, but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for low-flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.  Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife Discretion; his daughter Responsibility; and his son Reason.  He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.  Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.