Thursday, March 4, 2010
The "Don't Do It This Way" Story
It was another ordinary day. I was teaching a class how to run the ATF Chief Offset Press that was in my graphics room at MTHS. We were learning desktop publishing, darkroom procedures, stripping and burning plates and running the press. Time for the final lesson before they would run off stationery and envelopes for themselves. The class has only eight students, so it is a pleasure to work with all of them and be able to give them immediate individual help when needed. All guys in the class today, which is unusual even in the 70s. I have my shop coat on and have started my demonstration. Show them how to adjust for the paper size, how to attach the offset plate, how to apply the ink and water to the press and a few of the safety features to protect them. I then start the press and explain how they first must apply the water to the plate and then the ink. If done in the wrong order, the offset plate will become covered entirely with ink and it will take quite a while for the water to clean off all the ink. I add the water, then the ink and they get to see how the plate is ready for the paper. Next the paper. Push up the paper lever and a piece of paper enters the press, receives the image from the blanket and lands in the receiving tray. Pretty simple, right? Well, after running a few pieces the plate starts to pick up too much ink, since I have not properly adjusted the ink and water ratio. Good, I think, because now I can show them exactly what to do to correct this problem. I show them how to make the necessary adjustments and proceed. There is still a little too much ink on the plate so I take a cotton pad and apply a little etch to the pad and ATTEMPT to clean the ink from the plate while the press is still running. That's a NO NO! Oh, S@#T I cry as my fore finger stalls the press. My finger is now caught in the press. I can feel the color leave my face and feel the pain in my hand. I quickly grab the press wheel and turn the press backwards to release my finger. By now the students are showing concern, but they don't know what to do. As I look at my finger I realize I can't continue so I grab a cleaning cloth, wrap it around my hand, tell them to sit down and hustle out the room to the nurse's office. She takes one look at it and calls the office to tell them she is taking me to the emergency room at the hospital. Seems I flattened the finger to the second joint and made it look like an ink spatula. Bleeding pretty good by now. At the hospital they remove the rest of the nail, twist the finger back in place, place a splint on it, give me a shot and pain pills and tell me to go home. I returned the next day to school and greeted my class as they entered with, "Remember not to do what I did yesterday. Doesn't work too well. Makes your finger look like this," as I hold up my bandaged right hand. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy. PS - photo of LDub with student John L. by the infamous ATF Chief Press.
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