The "Varmints in the Tree House" Story

It was an ordinary day. We had arrived at our vacation destination for the summer. Every summer we have been renting a house with the Howry family for two weeks. The Howry's live a block away from us and we attend church together. Our kids and their kids are very close in age and we always have a great time together. This year we are staying in the "Tree House" on the Sassafras River. Gary found the place through a rental agency in Cecilton, MD. Never stayed at the "Tree House" before, but it looks really neat as we pull up to the house. Three stories high, made of cedar wood and stained very dark to blend in to the surroundings. There is a dock about 50 yards from the house where we will be able to attach Gary's boat. Way back in the woods and no other houses within sight. The first floor has three bedrooms and a bathroom. The second floor has a kitchen and living room which overlooks the water as well as another bathroom. A screened porch leads off the living area on the second floor and has a hammock and lounge chairs spread around the floor. The third floor has two large bedrooms and another bath. The two girls take one first floor bedrooms, the two older boys take another one and the two youngest boys take the third one. Gary and Sandy have one of the third floor bedrooms and Carol and I have the other. Can see forever from the third floor. Being that we are back in the woods, we have found that every morning the trash had been raided at night. Tops of the trash cans are taken off and the trash bags have been opened and gone through. Tried to figure out what it might be and after a few nights we figured we wanted to see the culprits. At dusk, all but the wives hopped in Gary's minivan and prepared for the stakeout. About an hour later we heard the noise. Gary had his van pointed at the trash cans, so he turned on the headlights. Wow! A family of raccoons was raiding the remnants of our evening meal. They carefully opened the lids with their "hands" and placed them on the ground, pulled the trash bags out and put them on the ground and started going through them. The lights didn't seem to scare them, but the honk from the horn when Gary hit it by mistake scared the crap out of them. Not long before they were gone for the night. Kids had a great time watching and it provided cheap entertainment for the evening. Also, being back in the woods, we encountered a few other creatures. Later that night, as Carol and I were just about asleep in out third third bedroom, I felt something on my head. Took a good swat at it in the dark and when Carol turned on the light she left out a scream. Seems I had blood running down my head from the gigantic cockroach that had fallen from the ceiling. I crushed it, but it had bitten me and there was blood from the two of us on me and the bed. Sandy heard the commotion and when she came over to our room she also left out a scream. Now everyone was in the bedroom!! And most were screaming. And ..... it wasn't the only one on the ceiling that we saw when we looked back at the ceiling. Found some spray and killed the rest that remained, but the kids were scared to go back down stairs, so we all slept together in the screened-in porch area that night. Headed to the store the next day for more bug spray. Hey, what do you expect in a wooden house in the jungle. We all seemed to adjust to the varmints in the neighborhood, except Sandy. She slept with a shower cap on her head for the rest of the vacation. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.