The "Final Chapter of LDub" Story

And now ....... Story #365. A year's worth!! It was an ordinary day. I had read the Obits in the paper to see if any of my friends had died and was turning to the sports section to see how my beloved Phillies did last night in L.A. Didn’t have time to watch the game and was too tired to watch the news. Then, I realized that I never wrote an Obit for myself. When my Mom and Dad prepaid for their funerals years ago they wrote obituaries for themselves. When Dad died three years ago, Lisa, from Groff Funeral Home sat with Mom, Carol and me to go over the preparations for the funeral. Seems that most everything was taken care of ahead of time. Thanks Mom and Dad! Really made our job easy. And Dad had written a really nice obituary for himself. He wasn’t one who liked to show off so he wrote very little about himself. Mom agreed that it was fine so we went with what he wrote. Today, I thought again about that day 3 years ago and thought it was time for me to do the same. The following is a preview of what may be in the paper 35 years from now, so if you don’t plan to be around then, read it now!

Larry W. Woods

Ordinary Guy

Larry W. Woods died on September 9, 2044 at the age of 100, surrounded by his wife and friend of 77 years, Carol and his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren at his home in Lancaster, PA. He died shortly after watching the “Today” show and seeing his photo on a jar of Smuckers Jam. This was the one item on his “Bucket List” he feared he would never achieve. He had a grin on his face as he fell asleep for the last time.

Born in Lancaster, he was the son of the late Paul H. and Dorothea E. Woods. He is survived by his wife Carol; two sons Derek C., husband of Barbara, Paul T.; daughter Brynn A., wife of David Mencarini; grandchildren Courtney A.Mencarini, Camille G. Mencarini, and Caden C. Woods; 7 great grandchildren; 23 great-great-children; brother Stephen P., husband of Kathy. Special mention is made of long time friends Magali and Stephane who have cared for the Woods' St. Martin Villa for years.

He graduated from Manheim Township High School in 1962 and Millersville State Teachers College in 1967. He was employed by the Manheim Township School District as an Industrial Arts Teacher for 33 years and was honored in 1990 as one of the Best Teachers in Pennsylvania in a Salute to Teaching. His 1972 Rifle Team won the PIAA State Championship and is still the only team to win a state championship in the history of the school district. He also was adviser to the yearbook for 30 of his 33 years at the high school. In 1999, after retiring from teaching, he continued with the district as middle school yearbook adviser and in-house printer. He was the owner of Woods Printing Services. He finally retired in 2015 with 60 years of service to the school district as either a student or employee. He was honored with a plaque above his classroom.

He was a member of St. James Episcopal Church in Lancaster where he was a member of both the boys’ choir and the adult choir. He served on the Vestry and he and his wife were co-chairs of the annual Town Fair Prime Rib Dinner for 5 years. He was involved with theManheim Township Baseball Association for 13 years and his 1991 Midget Team won the New Era Tournament Title. He won the World Series in the Red Rose APBA League in 1978. In 1997 he captured 1st Place in the 8th Annual Faulkner Corvette Day with his 1987 red Vette. In 2009 he won 1st place in the SXM Web Forum photo contest. For years he sold stained glass original panels and artistic Polaroid Manipulation Prints at galleries in PA, MD and NJ. In 2009-2010 he authored a daily blog based on his life’s experiences titled “Extraordinary Stories from an Ordinary Guy.” It was published in book form and was on the NY Times Best Seller List for 18 straight months. It can still be found at many local book stores. He held memberships in PSEA, NEA, MTEA, Giant Bonus Card Club, AAA, AARP, HOP, Borders Reward Program, The Lancaster County Corvette Club, and the American Writers Guild.

A funeral service for Larry will be held at St. James Episcopal Church on September 12, 2044 at 11:00 AM. Family will receive visitors from 9:00 until 11:00 AM. Private Interment will take place in the St. James Graveyard immediately after the service with punch and cookies served in the Parish House. Funeral Arrangements and Cremation will be handled by TheGroffs Funeral Services. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Juvenile Diabetes Society. You may send condolences to the family by using mental telepathy with your wireless head set or send vision reading with your 3D computer scanning device. It was the final extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.