The "Boy, Do I Have A Home Remedy For You" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Reading my latest copy of Reminisce Magazine when I came across a story titled "The Cure for what Ails You".  Gave remedies for the hiccups, sniffles and the common cold among other things.  But, they were rather boring remedies compared to what we offer in Amishland (Lancaster), Pennsylvania.  So, I posted on the "Lancastrian FaceBook" page asking the residents of Lancaster what remedies their families used to cure all their childhood illnesses.  Within a day I had over 200 comments telling what their mom, dad, grandma or other relative used to cure their illnesses. The following are some of the more interesting remedies.  I am not recommending that you try any of what you will read, but some were remedies that my mom used on me and.....well, I'm still here!  I have published only about a quarter of the comments, due to boring you.  That...and I couldn't type anymore since I was laughing so hard.   It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.  PS:  I have condensed some comments, but I haven't changed the spelling of most of the comments.

Kathleen: Sipping on syrup from a can of peaches to stop vomiting and upset stomach.  Always works!
Joy: Shredded apple on a plate left to turn brown.....then sprinkled with cinnamon and eaten.  Stops diarrhea.
Kerry: Mud spread on bee stings.
Allison: My nan always used Boric acid (powder) mixed in water.  Good for allergy eyes...pink eye...etc.

Mustard plaster

Bill:  Mustard plaster, smeared on your chest then covered with a towel.  Use for congestion.
Colette: I used to get horrible, huge patches of poison ivy.  When I was a teenager the entire inside of my arm was covered.  My great-grandmother slathered it with home-made lye soap and then covered it with a heavy sprinkling of salt, then wrapped a paper towel over it, securing it in place.  Gone in 2 days!
Susan:  Jewel weed if you came into contact with poison ivy.
Bill: The dreaded "Enema", whether you needed it or not!  Preventative maintenance!

Jewel weed

Connie:  I stepped on a nail when I was late and she put bacon on it then bandaged it 'til we go to the doctors.  Also, when we didn't want to fall asleep at night, she sprayed "Mr. Sandman" so we would get sleepy (found out as I got older it was just an air freshener).
Genie: Stewed crackers made with brown butter and hot water as well as flat coke and salty pretzel pieces was good for upset stomachs. 

Mercurochrome

Joel:  We put a penny on a bee sting and DMSO (dimethyl sulfide) on sore muscles.  It's normally used on horses.  We also used bag balm on diaper rash 35 years ago, long before it became popular.
Dawn:  My dad's cure was whiskey, lemon and honey warmed on the stove.  It burned so bad going down there couldn't be anything bad left.  
Janice:  My mother was born in 1915 and she told me they would put sautéed onions on her chest when she had a cough or cold.  After that she would never eat onions unless they were minced so small you couldn't see them.  Also, to get rid of hiccups we would put our finger in our ears and pinch our nose closed and drink about 7 gulps of water.  Still works today.  

Good Samaritan Ointment

Phil:  Good Samaritan ointment was used for just about every ailment when I was growing up!  I think it may still be available.  I probably still have the original tin container.
Cathy:  Oh yes!  That was always in the medicine cabinet along with merthiolate and Unguertine spray in a bottle that looked like a little fire extinguisher.
David:  Ichthammol was a black tar salve for drawing out splinters and a lye soap bath for poison ivy.

Micki:  We used to lather up with Fels naphtha and let it dry on our skin before going out to play in the woods.  Then we'd wash it off when we got home.  It felt awful having dried soap on my skin, and I'd still get poison ivy.
Jack:  Vick's Vaporub, Good Samaritan Ointment, Klien's Drawing Salve...all fold remedies. with brand names attached.  Now there is a big controversy over marijuana.   I have neuropathy and COPD.  Guess what helps?  But, here again, a political battle in the 1930s where Randolph Hearst managed to get the hemp plant taxed into obscurity because hemp sales cut into his lumber company profits.  
Michelle:  Bitters for upset stomach, cloves for toothache, bacon fat or salt pork for drawing infection/splinters, jewel weed for relief from burn hazel, calendula salve or honey for cuts and abrasions. 
Judy:  When I had an earache they would blow cigar smoke in my ears.
Barb:  Baking soda and vinegar paste to take the sting out of bug stings.
Mull:  Tincture of iodine and mercurochrome for every scape and cut!  Mad did those orange liquids sting!
Kim:  For an earache, mom would heat sweet oil in a teaspoon and pour it in the ear.  Whiskey soaked cotton swab to ease a toothache.
Phyllis:  Whiskey and honey for a sore throat.
Jackie:  We used mustard plaster on chest and paregoric with water for the stomach.

Sweet Spirits Nitre

Henry:  "Sweet Spirit of Niter for fevers.  Small teaspoon before being tucked into bed.  Always worked but I remember hallucinating!
Grace:  Bacon to draw out splinters, garlic in your shoes for colds, mustard plaster on chest congestion, ahhhh...I miss that magazine (in reference to my Reminisce Magazine),...did you find the needle?  (once again, in reference to Reminisce)
Lori:  Marco ointment used for anything from sore muscles to colds.

Paregoric...notice it is an opium! 

Karen:  I had a few warts on my hand and my mother would rub a potato on it and then bury the potato under the rain spout!  Also, a headstand for hiccups!
Jeannie:  Numotizine put on a cloth and heated before it was put on your chest.  Always nice and warm...and pink.  I can smell it in my memories of long ago!
Judie:  Mom had us take a spoonful of sugar with peppermint on it for a sick stomach.  
Shalynne:  Onion syrup to break up the flea and congestion in your chest.  
Elaine:  Lily leaves and whiskey to draw out a splinter.
Brenda:  We used uncooked bacon on a splinter to pull it out.  Worked great.
Karen: Campho Phenique!  My dad used it on cold sores and Paregoric for "the runs".
Gale:  Warm water with Catnip and Fennel in baby's bottle for colic.  Fletcher's Castoria for constipation.  Horehound slugs to numb a sore throat which were made by our egg man's wife made them using horehound plants growing in her garden.
Mike:  Don't remember any old remedies.  My mom was an RN!