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Tuesday, June 14, 2022

The "Do You Believe Your Children Owe You Anything In Life?" Story

 It was an ordinary day.  Reading a story that was published in the New York Times that told about a middle-aged couple in India who sued their son, who lived in India, since he and his wife had not repaid them with a child after all they did for him.  It seemed as if it was a made-for-TV movie type story, but it evidently was a true story.  The couple sent their son to the United States to learn to be an airplane pilot.  They had assumed their investment would be payed off, in the form of a grandchild!  Only problem was...they had never told their son about that.  He and his new wife moved back to India to live, but decided to take an overseas honeymoon and buy a new luxury car, but neither one of them ever felt the need to repay his parent's mother and father with a grandchild, as was the tradition in India.  India has a population explosion which was fueled with traditions such as repaying a debt with a child, so the son and daughter-in-law decided they weren't going to go that route to repay them.  So, the mother and father sued their son and daughter-in-law this past month and used as their reason to sue a child's obligation to their parents.  The mom and dad said they had spent their life savings for their son's education which cost them $65,000.  They had also provided him with not only schooling, but an Audi automobile.  And...they wanted him to repay then with a grandchild.  That duty was enshrined, to a degree, in the legal code in India.  In the Hindu faith, as in other traditions, children have a duty to repay a moral debt to their parents by taking care of them in old age.  Having grandchildren is also necessary to carry forward a family's linage and help one's parents achieve enlightenment.  Parents look forward to having their children take care of them, especially their sons, in return for the personal, material and social sacrifices in return for all they had done in raising their child.  But, in today's Indian society with 140 million people over the age of 60, more young adults are trying to live independently of their parents.  The result is the growing sense among older Indians that their children are not fulfilling their family duties.  Some believe that those duties are enshrined in some legal code.  Actually, in 1956 a law made adult children responsible for supporting their parents and those that do not do so can be placed in prison for 3 months.  The adult parents I just described are an extreme case of an elderly couple trying to recoup a moral debt.  Well, the case was filed last month under the grounds of "mental harassment."  They told of paying for his education, car, huge wedding and honeymoon to Thailand.  The parents actually live in a wealthy area of Haridwar.  But they still get upset when their friends drop off their grandchildren at a bus stop, and they can't do that.  The case has made headlines and prompted a debate about how much control parents should have over their children's life choices.  What do you think?  Well, a lawyer in India said the case would not go far, since it's arguments violate rights enshrined in India's Constitution, including the right to liberty.  So...all you moms and dads out there...if you decide to pay for your kids' education...don't expect anything in return for it...except for having to pay for your own children's education.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.         

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