The "What's In A Name?" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Reading a story that was published in the Saturday Evening Post titled "What's In A Name."  Have you ever wondered what you would be called if you weren't called what your parents named you... or even what people do call you?  All my life I've been called by my first name, Larry, as well as a few times, "Hey You."   But, what if I was called...say Jim, or maybe Tony or even Josh.  I like all those names...even though I do like Larry.  But, people are changing their names right and left these days...so why not change my name.  And, I don't see why I have to get it registered anywhere, since no one will know that I had a different name to start with.  A lady in my town named Pat vacationed in India and came back a Taylor, which doesn't sound Indian at all.  I also know a Mark who became a Mary, so going from Larry to Josh is no big deal.  Some names have been ruined by history, so one must approach name-changing carefully.  I know a man born in Germany in the early 1940s whose parents named him Adolf, which was apparently a thing back then, but isn't so much today.  In fact it's illegal to name your child Adolf Hitler if you live in Germany.  In France, it's against the law to name your child Nutella, the nectar of gods.  If you live in Malaysia and want to name your child 007, you can't.  If I were the President, a fantasy I had at one time entertained, I would make it illegal to give your kid a stupid name.  I would create a list of acceptable names with approved spellings.  There'd be no more Megyns or Koreans or Leighlas or Nevaehs if I were in charge.  I think we can all agree the United States was better when people had a simple name that was easy to spell.  I knew Nikki Haley wasn't going to win the presidency the moment she declared her candidacy.  She's undoubtedly smart, but her name is working against her.  First, it's misspelled.  It's Nicky, not Nikki.  Second, it doesn't sound presidential.  Our first woman president needs a distinguished name such as Elizabeth or Louise.  My wife would make a great president since her name is Carol Ann...easy to say and with class.  A female name such as Barbie sounds like she might work at Hooters with a girl named Bambi.  And...how a guy by the name of Babe ever was able to hit the baseball as well as he did is still a mystery to me.  I think it would be neat to belong to an outlaw motorcycle group and be called Spike or Mad Dog.  So, how did you get your name?  Do you ever wish you could change it?  And, what would you want to be called.  I've been thinking and I think a good name for the writer of a blog would be Butch.  Hey, don't laugh...after all he was part of a group of raiders in the early cowboy days.  Well, I got to be going so I can check in with my wife and see what she wants to call me from now on!  Something like "Clutch" or maybe "Handsome",  but....then again...maybe I don't want to know.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.  (Hey! I found the right name...."Ordinary Guy"!)