The "I'm Going To Sleep Better Tonight" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Just got the bill from the funeral home for my mom's funeral.  Lisa, the owner, had told me over and over again that mom had enough money to cover her modest funeral, but when I got the bill I almost freaked out.  Lucky Carol was sitting across from me when I opened the bill or who knows what I would have done.  I tired to reason why the bill was so high.  I saw where Lisa had deducted the insurance policy amount that we had purchased for mom a few years ago, but still couldn't figure how it could be so much.  Maybe we shouldn't have paid for the bags over the parking meters at the church I told Carol.  If we hadn't wanted them to bring the flowers from the service site to the cemetery we could have saved a bunch.  And why are we paying for a car for the clergy when they didn't use it?  One line item after another I questioned.  Then I had enough.  I looked up Lisa's number and called her so I could vent my anger on her rather than my wife.  "She isn't in!" said her secretary.  It was as if she knew why I was calling.  But, she promised to tell Lisa I called and have her call me back.  Yeah, right.  Well, Lisa called me back.  I tried to be nice when I answered the phone, knowing full well it was her on the other end.  Then I questioned her about why we had to pay so much when I thought she had told me it would be covered.  She told me it was covered, but they didn't receive the additional insurance amount, yet they had to send me a bill according to some reason I can't remember what it was.  All I heard was that we didn't owe them anything.  Then she asked me if I hadn't heard her in the cemetery when she told me she would pay the bill for the meal we had after the service, since there was money available for it.  Yes, I heard her.  Did I not here her when she asked how many meters we wanted covered, since we could have as many as needed because there was money available.  Yes, I heard her.  And then she asked if I hadn't heard her when she said she would be glad to bring the flowers to the cemetery so everyone could have one as a memory of my mom, and it would me paid for since there was money available.  Yes, I heard that too.  But, all I saw was the huge amount due on that last line.  Where was I going to get that amount?  I'm sure Lisa must have gone through this hundreds of times, since she was so nice with me, even when I told her I was upset with this and upset with that.  By the time we had finished talking, she told me to put the bill in a folder and forget about it.  And by the time we had finished talking we were good friends again and I told her I would be able to sleep tonight.  She said, "LDub, that's why I called you tonight instead of tomorrow morning."  I think I told you she was a real sweetheart in another of my stories, didn't I.  See why!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.