The "Now You're Making Me Feel Bad!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  My latest edition of AARP Bulletin just arrived today and I'm anxious to read a few of the stories that usually tell us old people how to survive just about everything from a variety of scams to how to live better in our computerized world.  

My wife and I joined AARP a few years ago after finding we could get better rates for many services as well as learn more about how those our age are able to survive the same things we experience on a daily basis.  One story in the latest issue told about rolling away pain through a variety of different exercises while another story told of some of the best ways to pass along wealth to our relatives after we die.  Yet, another story told about buying in bulk while another story told what our will won't do for us after we die.  We were told how to spot fake texts as well as how much does loyalty matter.  But, the first disturbing item I came upon was in an ad for AARP Life Insuance through the New York Life Insurance Company.  The male rates for buying the insurance only went to the final ages of 70-74 years old.  I couldn't buy any of the life insurance, since I'm older that the final issuing age.  Wow!  And...not just a year older, but three years older.  Made me really think!  But, when I began to leaf through the 52 page bulletin one more time, I stopped at page 4 after reading the headline near the bottom of the page that said, "Life Expectancy plummets in the U.S.  The life expected longevity for Americans fell by almost 18 months in 2020, the largest drop since World War II, because of COVID-19 and drug deaths.  OK, I can see why that might happen, but as long as I can survive COVID-19 and not get hooked on illicit drugs, I should have no need to worry.  But, after reading the numbers...I'm already past the top number on the chart for 2020.  Men in the United States can expect to live to the age of 74.5 years as of 2020.  I was that old 3 years ago!  Now if I were Hispanic I could expect to live to the age of 78.8 years of age.  That's not gonna happen!  Then it hit me.  That's why I couldn't buy any life insurance if I'm over the age of 74.  Now the numbers make sense.  But, how can I stop aging?  I'm already three years past the top age on the charts.  My wife told me, "Stop reading that damn paper and throw it out."  Oh yeah, she did remind me that her age expectancy on the chart was 80.2 years.  Thanks a lot!  I did take her advice though, since I walked to the trash can and threw the paper away!  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.  PS - If you too get the AARP Bulletin, bypass reading the story, bottom left, on page 4 since it will only make you feel bad.