The "Because I Said So" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Reading my latest James Patterson book titled Merry Christmas Alex Cross.  I enjoy James Patterson even though I'm sure he isn't writing half of what is published with his name on it.  But, it is an exciting and quick read and is better than watching TV.  Actually almost anything is better than watching most of the crap that is on TV today.  Well, getting back to my story.  I realized that when I am finished with my book, I will have to buy one on my Kindle, since it is the only novel that I got for Christmas this year.  Usually get half a dozen, but I forgot to put them on my list.  One that I really wanted is titled Because I Said So by Ken Jennings.  Remember him?  Ken was a contestant on Jeopardy for what seemed like forever.  He won quite a bit of money, but did lose to one of my former high school students Brad Rutter in 2005 in "The Ultimate Tournament of Champions."  Jennings wrote the book Because I Said So to "shine the cold, hard light of truth onto parental folklore."  I grew up with stories, as you did, that were told by my mom and dad to illustrate what could happen to you if you did something.  Such as: If you have fish for supper (something that I never remember doing as a child) you should never eat ice cream for dessert.  Why?  Because my mom said do!  And funny as it may seem, until her death she always believed in that saying.  Carol and I would take mom and dad to visit along the Chesapeake for lunch and we would all have crab cakes.  On the return trip we would stop for an ice cream cone and she would never eat one.  I think she was just waiting for one of us to get sick so she could said "Told you so!"  Well there are many, many wives tales that are a bunch of baloney, but then again there are a few that are true such as: Drinking warm milk makes you sleepy, An Apple a Day keeps the doctor away, Long labor means it must be a boy, Drink cranberry juice for a bladder infection, Chicken soup fights a cold, and Eat your carrots.  How do I know they are true?  Read about it online before I tried to add them to my story so I don't look like a fool.  Getting back to Ken's book, he recently published a few of his tales in the "Sunday Parade Magazine" to try and get readers interest and buy his book.  It got my interest!  Here are a few tales he presented and info to prove or disprove the truth of the tale.

1. No swimming for an hour after you eat.  You'll cramp up.  It is true that when we eat, our bodies divert blood to the stomach to aid in digestion, but that doesn't immobilize your arms and legs.  Long-distance swimmers are routinely fed in the middle of races to make sure they stay nourished and hydrated.  The only thing that you should not do is drink alcohol.
2. When you start shaving, the hair will grow thicker.  To a 12 year old boy, it's great news, but to a same age girl it could be a disaster.  The advice is pretty silly.  
3. Stay away from the Poinsettia!  The leaves are poisonous.  Truth is its probably safer to eat an entire poinsettia plant than to eat grandma's fruit cake.  You would have to eat over 600 leaves to have any effect and then it would only be a bellyache.  There goes another one.
4. Don't cross you eyes.  They'll get stuck like that!  This is another case of parents saying "That's dangerous," when all they mean to say is "Why on earth are you doing that? You look silly!"
5. Drink eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day.  Had to drink water.  Milk, juice, soda, etc. didn't count.  But, most of our water intake gets to us in the food we eat.  You should drink whenever your thirst demands and milk, juice, soda, coffee, tea ...... they all count.
6. It's too dark in here.  You'll hurt your eyes if you try to read.  Hey this is one that I always tell my wife.  You don't need all the lights on when you are reading as many think.  There is no evidence linking reading in the dark to eye damage.  It just takes longer to focus when the light is dim.  
7. You need hydrogen peroxide on that.  I know, it looks neat when it hits the cut and starts to fizz. Seems like it is working to help cleanse the would, but it really is not good for you.  Neosporin is a better choice.
8. Take off the band-aid to let your cut air out.  My mom used to say that all the time.  Made me take band-aids off when I went to be bed to "air it out" only to wake up in the morning with blood and tissue on the sheets.  Skin cells regrow about twice as fast on covered wounds which stayed moist and didn't get a scab.  But I recently had some cancer cells removed from my arm and the nurse told me to leave the bandaide off so the wound would heal faster.  So who do you believe?  
9. Don't drink soda.  It makes you hyper.  Sugar doesn't really wind kids up.  It's just that many of the occasions on which kids eat lots of sugar, like birthday parties and holidays, tend to be chaotic anyway.  Cutting down on the sugar is great for the teeth, but it won't help them sit still on grandma's couch.  Matter of fact nothing seems to make them sit quietly on our couch.  Hey, they are kids!
10. Most of your body heat escapes through your head.  You know, I believed this until I read Ken's information.  It is really an old wives' tale.  You get the same results on any part of the body that is exposed.  You'd lose just as much heat if you put a hat on and wore short pants.  I'm still not sure I believe that, Ken!  My bald head sure gets cold faster than other parts of my body.

OK.  You interested in his book yet?  I still want a copy to read.  Sounds like it will be fun to read and see how many things that mom and dad told me all my life that weren't true.  I probably have done that with my kids also, but that's OK, since I'm the dad and know better.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.