The "It's Not You...It's Me!" Story

It was an ordinary day.  Watching reruns of probably my most favorite show ever on TV...Seinfeld!  I could sit and watch reruns all day long.  Matter of fact, I have done that a few times while on vacation and found the weather to be too bad to head to the beach.  Well, my wife and I tried to remember some of our favorite memorable lines throughout the nine seasons of Seinfeld on NBC.  The sitcom was created by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David and aired from 1989 to 1998 with more than 170 episodes.  Have you watched everyone of them as I have?  Well, the show was described as a show about "nothing" and had such a substantial impact on pop culture that it seems to be as relative today as it was 25 years ago.  The four lead characters were New Yorkers annoyed about everything and not afraid to complain.  Jerry was played by Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine was played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus, George was played by Jason Alexander and Kramer was played by Michael Richards.  What an odd bunch, but they had the chemistry needed for perhaps the best comedy show ever on TV.  I have written about the show in the past, but have never listed the most memorable lines from the show.   So, see if you too don't think that the following are some of your most memorable and favorite lines of Seinfeld!

You know, it's not fair people are seated first come, first served. It should be based on who's hungriest. I feel like just going over there and taking some food off somebody's plate.— Elaine Benes, season 2, episode 11

I don't like when a woman says, "Make love to me." It's intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.

— George Costanza, season 3, episode 10

Hey, I'm doing what I do. You know, I've always done what I do. I'm doing what I do, way I've always done, and the way I'll always do it.

— Kramer, season 4, episode 2

So I sped home to save my friend's life and I was stopped for speeding. Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life! A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker.

— Newman (Wayne Knight), season 4, episode 4

I say let's let bygones be bygones. If you took the raisins, if you didn't take the raisins. They weren't even my raisins.

— George Costanza, season 4, episode 24

You're giving me the "It's not you, it's me" routine? I invented "It's not you, it's me"! No one tells me it's them, not me! If it's anybody, it's me!

— George Costanza, season 5, episode 6

I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted … with a side of potato salad … and a cup of tea!

— George Costanza, season 5, episode 22

The point is I intend to undertake this. And I'll do it with or without you. So if you're scared, if you haven't got the stomach for this, let's get it out right now! And I'll go on my own. If not, you can get on board and we can get to work!

— Jerry Seinfeld, season 6, episode 11

Oh, it's Risk. It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.

— Jerry Seinfeld, season 6, episode 12

I tell you, when she threw that toupee out the window, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel like my old self again. Totally inadequate, completely insecure, paranoid, neurotic — it's a pleasure.

— George Costanza, season 6, episode 16

I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.

— Jerry Seinfeld, season 7, episode 9

Serenity now! Serenity now!

— Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller), season 3, episode 3

Our policy is, we're comfortable with our bodies. You know, if someone wants to help themselves to an eyeful, well, we say "Enjoy the show.”

— Kramer, season 9, episode 12

Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.

— Jerry Seinfeld, season 9, episode 2 

Recognize most of the lines?  Still makes me laugh everytime I read them.  It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.