The "My Doctor Has Lots of Good Magazines ...at least he did!" Stories

It was an ordinary day. Just got back from the insurance company that is two blocks from my house. Had to go visit them to take care of my mom's medical supplemental plan. When Carol got home she asked where I got the neat pen in my pocket. "Oh, this pen," I said taking it our of my breast pocket. "Got it at the insurance company. Had to sign some documents and I guess I forgot to give it back to them. It has advertising on it so they probably wanted me to have it," I told her. She said I'm getting like Jerry Seinfeld's parents. They go to the store and steal batteries. If Jerry's father forgets to take them, then his mother will steal them. All old people do that, they reasoned. Just forgot they had them in their pocket. Then Carol said, "And, what about the magazine laying over there?" Seems I went to the dermatologist a few days ago. Had to have my stitches removed from the latest surgery. She removed a facial tumor which required 26 stitches. My appointment was for 1:00 PM and I arrived five minutes early. Checked in and sat in the waiting room. They have tons of magazines and newspapers. Of course, sometimes you have to wait an hour to see the doctor, and there are six doctors in the practice, therefore plenty of patients, and magazines. I had just got started on an article in Web MD about making your home more elderly friendly (that would be me), when the nurse came to get me. Quick today, of course I made sure I would be one of the first after lunch. I took the magazine with me as I followed her. She took me back to an exam room, had me sit in the chair and started to remove the stitches. I heard about three or four snips of the scissors and she said that was it. I questioned her about why it took so little time if there were so many stitches. She told me that I helped her out when I shaved today. Took the rest out myself. Told me to clean my razor when I got home because it probably has plenty of thread in it. As I was leaving, I asked if I could borrow the magazine to finish the article. She looked at me kind of funny, so I told her I would bring it back the next time I came, which was in three months. "You're not supposed to remove them from the office," she said as she winked and nodded to me. Oh, I get it. It's OK to take it she meant. I read the rest of the article when I got home and quite a few more. Pretty neat magazine. Across the top of the magazine states, "The WAITING ROOM COMPANION Created for Your Doctor's Office." "Hey, I'm taking it back," I told Carol when she got home from work and saw it. "Just like all the others that you said you were returning," was her reply. Am I the only one who borrows things and forgets to return them? I don't think so. There are some things that I do take, but I'm sure they expect people to take them. One of the items are the cardboard coasters that they sit drinks on in restaurants and bars. They put the name of their place on it hoping people will take them. Good advertisement for them. I have quite a few of them from our many travels. Same goes for the little bottles of lotion and shampoo that are placed in rooms you stay in on vacation. I always take my own along, so I figure we're just getting even. I paid for them anyway. Now I have never taken a towel from any place I have stayed. At least not intentionally. It was another extraordinary day in the life of an ordinary guy.